your friend is the strongest, bravest man on this site. thank you for sharing your story - and may we all be blessed with friends like you.
[quote]Cortes wrote:
I’d say you are blessed to have such a friend, Tone. Sounds like all of us could learn a lot from him. It truly is our attitude which determines our happiness and the ultimate value we add to our life and all of those around us.
I hope you will let your friend know that he is a model which will provide strength for others.[/quote]
Thanks for the support Cortes. I can’t wait to tell him how positive all the responses have been, and how many, he’s going to trip on this in a really good way I think.
He always seems surprised by some of the things I do for him, or say to him, it’s good to see someone really appreciate a hand of kindness, when so many take it with a grain of salt or for granted ya know?
ToneBone
[quote]lil_azn wrote:
your friend is the strongest, bravest man on this site. thank you for sharing your story - and may we all be blessed with friends like you. [/quote]
Well, thank you for the support and beautiful comment.
I hoped his story would make some of us stop and think.
ToneBone
Had a good little chat with the man this morning.
Read the entire thread and posts to him, he was touched.
He started hallucinating and was telling me he had left after “getting tired” of the staff and such, and that he was now home, then caught himself and told me “see what I mean”, about the hallucinations/confusion etc. He had me going at first, and then I realized it was all in his head.
Told him how much he meant to me, and reiterated that a lot of folks over here took the story to heart and extended warm wishes towards him. Like I said, it meant a lot to him. So thanks to everyone, and hope you all have a great day.
ToneBone
I’m saddened to say that my good friend has passed away this past Saturday evening. I called him just today only to have someone else answer his phone and tell me he had passed last night. I knew this day was coming, but his stalworth refusal to give in had me convinced that it was still perhaps a long way off.
Not long back his leg had gotten re-infected and was amputated even further up towards the hip, and yet he had still managed to get out of the hospital after this, and was living back at home. He had been eager to help around the house where he lived with his roomates, cleaning and doing chores even when he had been told not to bother. I had told him myself not to overdue it and get plenty of rest while the leg was still healing. He still had the same positive attitude as before, and during, all the time I have known him. Stubbornly refusing to engage in any kind of “pity party” for himself, and always staying positive although very aware of the real danger of another infection not being able to be lopped off like the rest of his leg already had been.
I was going to take him to the movies once he was able to go, but in my own life challenges I was unable to get back in touch with him these past few weeks.
I was beginning to worry, as I often did, if time went by without talking to him, and yet I kept thinking no way was he down for the count yet. I was wrong.
Apparently he just stood up while watching tv with a roomie, and said “fuck” or something like that, and collapsed. The roomie caught him as he was falling over, and they tried cpr in the house and then called 911. When the paramedics arrived they declared him dead on the scene.
I imagine his body just couldn’t keep up anymore after all the health problems had taken their toll. Dialysis 3 times a week, having had the several heart episodes including a triple bypass, and the amputations of toes, parts of feet, and a leg finally, just quietly took him out in a sudden flash of time. I guess the heart just couldn’t perform any longer.
I feel guilty to some degree for not getting over there recently, though I have been busy myself with my recent surgery and life in general. I could have made time though.
I didn’t want this to happen with not having seen him or visited in several weeks, as has now happened. Nothing I can do now though. I know I was a great friend to him and told him I loved him and he said the same back to me. That might sound a bit odd to some of you I know. We had said that before joking around when we were acting like fools ala the budweiser commercial, lol. But when he landed in the hospital this time, I wanted him to know I meant it.
I hate to say it but I doubt he had heard that in some time from anyone in his life, so I was quite happy to throw that at him when he had been in the hospital and on subsequent phone conversations. I wanted him to feel what his friendship meant to me, and that was the humblest way I could express it in a profound sense. Pretty funny as we were both fairly abrasive and crazy individuals when we worked together and played in the same band. The funny thing is we were cool with people but wild at the same time. It’s a good mix if I do say so myself. Many of my friends here on this site seem to possess this very quality, lol.
Ahhh, the good old days, I’ll never forget them Vern. You’ll always be in my heart, and I will never forget the friendship you extended me during our lives. You were a big, crazy, scary looking mother fucker, and I loved you like you were my big grizzly bear brother. I’m sorry I didn’t get over to see you my friend, please forgive me, and I’ll do my best to take the lessons of living life in humility that you taught me to heart, and give to other people of myself, as you so often did to others in need.
Farewell my brother, maybe someday I’ll see you again on the other side.
Your crazy ass friend,
Tony
I’m so, so sorry. I’m glad you knew Vern, and I’m really glad he had you for a friend. I can hear your love for him. I know he heard it, too.
Take care, Tony.
Don’t get wrapped up in guilt about not seeing him, your a good friend. He knew he was loved.
Peace.
That was one of the best and most touching posts i have ever read. It really spoke to me. It sucks to have to say good bye to an old friend. Seems like he had a raw deal right from the start. Poor Guy. He took it well though and did the best he could. It’s very though to have a good happy life after a start like that. God Bless and may your friend rest in peace.
Damn, Tony. Tears welled in my eyes as read your last post. Vern was lucky to have you, as you were to have him. I admire your thoughtfulness, your caring words. To recognize that type of love, and express it is a rare quality in a person. Thanks for sharing.
Numbers 6:24 - 26
Good comfort in a time like this.
[quote]5.0 wrote:
Damn, Tony. Tears welled in my eyes as read your last post. Vern was lucky to have you, as you were to have him. I admire your thoughtfulness, your caring words. To recognize that type of love, and express it is a rare quality in a person. Thanks for sharing. [/quote]
Thanks buddy. I appreciate all the comments from everyone, and hope he can “feel” the respect and love from so many good people who have offered their contribution to his memory here. I have a hard time “letting go” when someone close to me passes away. I feel like I do need to think of them often, and then I find myself pondering their suffering over and over, back and forth with the positive memories. People say to only think of the positive, but I can never seem to do that. Or I think sometimes, that ignoring the negative is a slight to them somehow.
It’s comforting and easier to get by with kind words of comfort from you all though. Thank you very much for responding and putting your thoughts out here.
I am stunned still, and will get through of course, but am glad he is no longer suffering as well. I’ll invite you folks to tip one up and down the hatch in his honor if you choose to do so with me. 
Thanks for keeping my thread so respectful and positive.
Tony
Tony, I remember reading the original part of this thread and being moved at your words of love and friendship.
I’m further moved now as I read of your friends death.
I must reiterate Testy’s post and say that indeed, you should not get hung up on having not visited recently.
Good friends are just that - It doesn’t matter if they haven’t visited even in years, there is still that unbreakable bond of friendship. Vern knew you were thinking of him.
I’m sure he was honoured to call you a friend, just as you are about him.
Chin up pal. He lives on in the people that knew him. The best way to achieve immortality. And even now he is affecting people in a positive way through your words.
Now that cannot be a bad thing.
RIP Vern - you’ll live on forever. I’ll be raising a glass to you this evening.
Here it is my friend. I know you’d want something meaningful from me to you, and this is the real track that emobodies that feeling of friendship two people can have that transcends and uplifts the human spirit, and is my final word to you.
Rest in Peace Vern,
your crazy brother from another mother,
Tony
Please listen to the above track on youtube.
It is a masterpiece, and a Jeff Beck signature track from one of my favorite discs, “Guitar Shop”.
I’ll like to sail on out through that one myself.
I opened up this thread and was surprised that it had started back in April and that I didn’t remember reading it. As I was reading through the responses from back then, I was starting to get the eery feeling that the thread was just recently bumped.
And then I got to the post from today. Before even reading it, I started to tear up because I knew what it was going to say.
A beautiful eulogy and I can only imagine how hard it must be. Try to stay strong.
Tony, that was a great song, very touching.
This song immediately came to mind as you described Vern. This is one of my favorites from Sevendust.
[quote]5.0 wrote:
Tony, that was a great song, very touching.
This song immediately came to mind as you described Vern. This is one of my favorites from Sevendust.
Sevendust Angel's Son - YouTube [/quote]
Thanks buddy. Ironically you fit right in with Vern and I’s choice of killer bands. We saw Sevendust together out here once after they cancelled on our ass the year or so prior.
I remember recording and sharing many of Sevendust’s tracks between each other, including this one and both of us being so impressed with Lajon’s voice and lyrics in all of them.
Thanks for posting that, as it is very appropriate for Verns sailing away euology. Just as it was intended when written for another lost soul.
Beautiful song, well done friend.
Tony
I’m sorry to hear about your buddy. It sounds like a once in a lifetime friendship, and you guys were lucky to have each other.
Take care.
Life can be such a bitch man. You don’t see that kind of pure friendship so much in 2008, very touching.
R.I.P Vern