Bingo. You don’t have to be attractive to millions of potential women. You only have to fool one and then treat her nice. Fairly simple procedure.
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I don’t disagree with you. But I do think men (in general) have less intense emotions, for good or bad.
What’s the old joke?:
Wife: What are your feelings about this!?
Husband: Well, I’m hungry.
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I think emotions are about the same, but women are more apt to express them. For better or for worse.
Moral of the story: hurt people, hurt people. It’s better to move on if significant time and resources haven’t been invested.
That time is already gone. You don’t get it back by staying in a crummy relationship. It is a sunk cost.
On a related topic, you can spot many of the BPD women by their nails.
If they have the Stiletto, they have BPD 100%.
90% for Coffin
80% for Square
60% for Almond
Squoval, Round, and Oval girls are datable, but you have then take into account color and decoration. Too complicated to discuss here, but, in general the more outrageous the color or more elaborate the decoration, the more likely to have BPD.
Nails bitten to the quick are a different story and one must investigate further. It can mean self-destructive behavior. But, for example, my wife has extremely short, natural nails, occasionally torn off from rock climbing and working out. But she paints them nicely. This is wife material.
The source of this wisdom is many years of dating strippers and dating women who dated Jody while I was deployed. It is not to be challenged.
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This is like the insanity to eyebrow gap correlation. The further apart the eyebrows, the higher the chance for mental disease.
Very scientifical.
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I have a monobrow and am certifiable: please explain.
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Reminds me of a girl I once knew. She bit my arm in the back of a taxi, on the highway. Why? Because I refused to punch her in the face. I don’t know if she was borderline or what, but she was definitely crazy. What motivates these people?
I don’t know but I got out fast. I didn’t know her well but from what I can see it’s been a rough 20 years since that date.
Yeah I never saw that girl again, fortunately.
I think most paraphilias are unexplainable.
@ActivitiesGuy I now remember why you smartly don’t venture outside of training logs much anymore.
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I’m… VERY hesitant to offer advice on this.
But I’ll start by asking @roscoe88. Aside from this current standing in your relationship, may I ask how your relationship was over the course of the 3 years you guys had been with eachother? Any patterns you noticed? Any times she’s expressed help from you? Any times you can pinpoint where both you and her could’ve done better In helping one another in the relationship?
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13 posts were split to a new topic: Happy Marriages/Relationships
Hijack re-routed: Happy Marriages/Relationships
OP’s question and the original topic of discussion should continue uninterrupted.
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Her horrid, red flag filled background: (remember, I live an HOUR away from her)
-3 kids, 2 different dads. One being someone who has be jailed many times for beating her (yes I’ve seen reports, etc).
-history of lying and cheating
-very poor woman. Lives paycheck to paycheck. On food stamps.
-has been with at least 100 men. Use to be a full on lesbian.
-very uninhibited in bed.
-all kids are very very poorly behaved. Youngest (4) diagnosed autistic.
–her mother was diagnosed schizophrenic and overdosed years ago.
-GF grew up living with different households, often on mattresses on the floor. Very nomadic upbringing due to her mother.
-History of being beaten up by last bf. He is LEGIT crazy.
She meets me. I have a well paying job, single, attractive, and no kids. At first I wanted just sexual stuff, but it continued, and she basically idolized me, as I was very much out of her league in many ways (hope that doesn’t sound ego driven)
For the first 1.5 years, things are great. She’s extremely loving and nurturing. Treated me better than anyone. And I reciprocated in what I thoughts and believe was enough. However, she started distancing at one point, thinking I didn’t love her as I wasn’t doing enough for her (she states). However, the money, time, and emotion/support I’ve given this person would astound you. None of the is recounted by her for some reason. Anyway, at one point she breaks up with me, and in the short time we’re away, she gets back with crazy ex for about a week.
THAT relationship needs a little background: she claims to have never loved him, which I believe. He’s an abusive maniac. But she’d stay with him for support with kids and frankly, she was nuts when she left. She hated sex with him and TOLD me often times she’d exchange sex with him for money or things like a new purse or money for her nails. This startled me. HUGE red flag.
Anyway, we break up but end up getting back together. She is still in counseling trying to understand WHY she’d go back with someone abusive.
For the next year or so things slowwwwly deteriorated. She began to press for her moving to my town, ME buying a bigger house for her and her kids. Of course I didn’t want to. I suggest her moving to me, but renting first and see how things go. THEN perhaps take the next step. This all wasn’t good enough.
At one point I break up with her, about 6 months ago. I just can’t take the situation, the traveling constantly to see her, her crazy kids, the fact she is just, well, intellectually very dumb. Her reaction to the break up is beyond crazy. Calls my mom hysterical for an hour. Can’t function at work. Almost checks into mental hospital. Not the first time. She pleads and begs to get back, and I’m firm. After about a month she is dating someone new. I get upset, beg and plead to get back together, but she’s got a wall up. I make some promises about moving in together (which at the time I was desperate). We get back together.
This brings us up to the past few months. She’s increasing being critical of me, insulting me, twisting words and just not acting nice anymore. One night, after movie/dinner, I was just way too tired for sex. This is LITERALLY the first time this has happened. Her response was INCREDIBLE. Kicked my out of her house. That’s the last I’ve seen her.
Since then, we’ve communicated over via text and phone calls.
It seems like I’m totally blackballed at this point. Her actions and who she seems to be right now are SOOO pervasively different that who I knew her to be for the past few years. Like a mask has dropped.
There were other red flags that would take too long to post, but in the end, I’ve been beyond supportive of her and her kids. Moreso than anyone she’s known… and she’s told me this.
Writing this all has helped actually. My MIND says “dude, look at the RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE”. This person isn’t sound minded, nor has good character. But my heart is hooked. And I KNOW its basically because of how good the sex was.
SO, if any of you have been in a relationship with an ADMITTED borderline, please let me know your thoughts. It’s very hard to just “RUN”. If you’ve never been in one with a borderline, you’d understand.
Ghost her. Change cell phone numbers and addresses if you have to. She wants out of your life and you want out of hers. This is your chance.
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You need to run away like your ass is on fire!! The odds of her ever getting better are slim to none. She will continue to spiral downhill until her kids are taken away from her and she is in jail.
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It’s not your heart that’s hooked, man. Walk away, if for no other reason than her three kids don’t need another layer of confusion and chaos in their lives. They’re already full and it’s going to be hard enough for them after you being around for years.
Wait, what? You were “firm” in the break-up, but as soon as she moves on, you return? That’s messed up. You were out and could’ve been done with it all.
It’s beside the point, but I’d argue that these are not “red flags”.
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I’d have to disagree with you Chris. This type of upbringing and behavior can lead to long term negative effects in future relationships.
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