I have one. It sucks, hard. Today I got mad and smashed a wall with a baseball bat, and then threw the bat through a window. Probably $1500 down the pisser right there. A year ago I got mad and punched the monitor of my brand new laptop, and totalled the whole computer. I don’t do this shit very often, it only happens like once or twice a year, but when it does happen, it’s disgraceful. My gf gets scared, my dog gets scared… it’s ugly. I don’t know what causes it or how to stop.
Some extremely fucking aggrovating thought enters my head and I just lose it and start breaking shit. I’ve been doing this crap all my life, ever since I was a kid, I had to take anger management classes in the 7th grade and it didn’t help any. I’m 26 now and it’s disgraceful to carry these childhood habits to this age. I don’t wanna be a fucking kid anymore.
What should I do? Anyone else have this problem? I don’t really believe in anger management counseling; if it was helpful, I would go, but based on my previous experiences, it isn’t helpful. Any ideas?
I have a permanent lump about the size of a pea on my knuckle from punching a wall while getting frustrated putting a TV up.
Smashed up my ipod by continually slamming it against the kitchen side when the trackpad was being unresponsive.
Cracked my PSP screen by biting it in frustration when I lost a crucial fight on tekken.
I always do stupid immature shit when I’m angry. (In retrospect the latter is ridiculous).
Regular exercise and plenty of sleep usually keeps me from losing my temper too often, it’s only when I’m tired that I’ll flip out. You getting plenty of sleep?
I definitely know a lot about Rage. I’ve had to pay a lot of heavy prices because of my Rage. I can’t give any quality advice without knowing you better, but in general for me I had to grow up and get real honest with myself about the results of my anger and take responsibility for changing things (some real soul-searching). A good part of that was taking a thorough honest look at where it was coming from and how & who I wanted to be.
Anger is healthy and normal but rage is extremely toxic. I personally think anger management classes are a joke but some quality therapy could definitely help. Sometimes it’s easier for someone else to see something about us then we can’t see about ourselves. The more honest I am with myself and the more I’ve matured, the more calm I’ve become. I’ve had to look at a lot of things about myself and my past that was hard to accept.
Who wants to take a cold hard look at their shortcomings, faults, and weaknesses, right? It’s made me a hell of a better man on many levels not just with my anger. I still get angry but I rarely fly into a rage in the ways that I use to.
[quote]postcrime wrote:
I have one. It sucks, hard. Today I got mad and smashed a wall with a baseball bat, and then threw the bat through a window. Probably $1500 down the pisser right there. A year ago I got mad and punched the monitor of my brand new laptop, and totalled the whole computer. I don’t do this shit very often, it only happens like once or twice a year, but when it does happen, it’s disgraceful. My gf gets scared, my dog gets scared… it’s ugly. I don’t know what causes it or how to stop. Some extremely fucking aggrovating thought enters my head and I just lose it and start breaking shit. I’ve been doing this crap all my life, ever since I was a kid, I had to take anger management classes in the 7th grade and it didn’t help any. I’m 26 now and it’s disgraceful to carry these childhood habits to this age. I don’t wanna be a fucking kid anymore. What should I do? Anyone else have this problem? I don’t really believe in anger management counseling; if it was helpful, I would go, but based on my previous experiences, it isn’t helpful. Any ideas?[/quote]
Snap…I feel quite lucky in the sense that i’ve calmed down over time, still have “episodes” but what i’ve found helps is to find something that relaxes you.
Find something that keeps you relaxed and when you feel like your going to flip out at the $1500 window, have the control to go and do this relaxing thingy.
Or you could just take the bat to an unsuspecting neighbour? The aftermath is GURANTEED to make you forget why you were pissed in the first place.
[quote]postcrime wrote:
I have one. It sucks, hard. Today I got mad and smashed a wall with a baseball bat, and then threw the bat through a window. Probably $1500 down the pisser right there. A year ago I got mad and punched the monitor of my brand new laptop, and totalled the whole computer. I don’t do this shit very often, it only happens like once or twice a year, but when it does happen, it’s disgraceful. My gf gets scared, my dog gets scared… it’s ugly. I don’t know what causes it or how to stop. Some extremely fucking aggrovating thought enters my head and I just lose it and start breaking shit. I’ve been doing this crap all my life, ever since I was a kid, I had to take anger management classes in the 7th grade and it didn’t help any. I’m 26 now and it’s disgraceful to carry these childhood habits to this age. I don’t wanna be a fucking kid anymore. What should I do? Anyone else have this problem? I don’t really believe in anger management counseling; if it was helpful, I would go, but based on my previous experiences, it isn’t helpful. Any ideas?[/quote]
yes you need starting meditation and being aware of your mind, you and your mind are two different things. the mind should not have the control on you, but you should have the control on the mind! and when you have the control on your mind, you can accomplish everything that you want at this world, because the thought is creative.
Before knowing this I went several times through those moments even if for the most I was use to interiorize it, not letting it out, so when it went out was devastating. Last time was in 2006 because of my mind being dominated by the unconscious behaviours of the woman I was with at the time. Well I destroied my new laptop bought few days before, throwing it on the ground then jumping of it till it was pieces! yelling like crazy totally out of myself, and I was in a hotel…soon security came to the door checking what was happening…very stupid and unconscious stuff dude.
Then I came through some books of Eckhart Tolle and things started to clarify for me. Then I met the teachings of Abraham and I totally changed. finally peaceful and with a higher vibration. Meditating everyday and on track to manifest all I want.
Finally aware and in control of my mind, and so LIFE.
Peace and Good luck bro, thousands of people go through this in their life and have the chance to change as I did, so it is Your moment now!
I got on my girlfriend’s case this morning for nothing in particular … It was a pretty shitty morning leading up to that point … I woke up an hour early to dig our cars out (she helped) from the snow … my dog was being a whiney little bitch and the neighbors cat somehow made it under our bed and was hissing and swiping at me when I was trying to get it to give back to her
I took out my frustration on her and I feel like an asshole about it … so I’m going to cook her dinner and clean up the house a bit before she gets home.
Seriously though, I’m usually a calm dude, but every once in a while a whole bunch of annoying shit happens one right after another and I just kind of turn into this jack ass. And to top it off, THAT makes me even more frustrated.
WHAT THE FUCK??? I DONT HAVE FUCKING ANGER ISSUES!!! I DONT KNOW WHY THIS ALLLWAAYYYSS COMES UP!! ANGER THIS ANGER THAT!!! FUCK! THIS IS FUCKING HORSHSHIT!!!
AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THERE ARE NO STOP SIGNS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD!!!
[quote]polo77j wrote:
I got on my girlfriend’s case this morning for nothing in particular … It was a pretty shitty morning leading up to that point … I woke up an hour early to dig our cars out (she helped) from the snow … my dog was being a whiney little bitch and the neighbors cat somehow made it under our bed and was hissing and swiping at me when I was trying to get it to give back to her
I took out my frustration on her and I feel like an asshole about it … so I’m going to cook her dinner and clean up the house a bit before she gets home.
Seriously though, I’m usually a calm dude, but every once in a while a whole bunch of annoying shit happens one right after another and I just kind of turn into this jack ass. And to top it off, THAT makes me even more frustrated. [/quote]
The kickoff to my divorce began when during an argument I picked up a five gallon water bottle and threw it through a screen door and right off the balcony. It then landed on the camper shell of my own pickup. All told it was just over $1000 worth of damage.
I was 24.
I’m 35 now and still have bouts of rage on occasion, like last week I slammed my fist onto my desk in anger, only I had an apple in my hand and it went everywhere. Not cool at all. I think part of being a reasonable person and a grown up “real” man is being able to keep your cool. Like Clooney baby. Like Clooney in Michael Clayton.
Getting that angry has consequences that you’re ultimately accountable for. Be it loosing friends, relationships, jail time and fines, work, etc. You need to be as mad at yourself as you are, and it’s a good thing that you’re asking for advice. I don’t have any real solid answers, only to remind you that growing into a man is process.
What did you learn
What can you do to prevent an event like that again
My blood absolutely boils and I go batshit crazy when people on the interwebz spell ‘lose’ as ‘loose’. Yes, there is a difference, so I’ll use them in sentences for all to understand…
Lose: I hate when I lose arguments on the internet; my whole day gets ruined.
Loose: Her vag was so loose that even with my 9 inch cock (AROUND, that is…think about it) I felt like I was throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Couple things, I have always felt weak when losing control. Many people rage in an attempt to overpower a situation. Shits going wrong and you just go bezerk. BUT if you can pre-think of it as being a pussy little faggot weakling who can’t control his little crybaby pussy behavior. Then you may be able to turn back before it’s too late.
A good excercise for doing this is when you start to get mildly annoyed with something, even though it probably won’t escalate into a ragefest, just call yourself a little whiny bitch and make fun of yourself for being a fucking crybaby. Be real mean to yourself and your subconcious WILL get the message loud and clear that raging out is not something you would like to do.
Also meditation can help a great deal. Having perspective is a powerful tool. Have a few key thoughts you can summon on demand for when you are acting like a complete spoiled little brat. Like download a few pictures of starving people or people who are being tortured or something, whatever it is that makes you realize that in the grand scheme of things, shit is actually going quite well for you, considering some other possible things that COULD be going on right now if you were in different shoes (or were too poor to even have shoes).
Ultimately though, it has to be you who does this, I do not think a counselor will have any other useful info other than more techniques, but fuck I just gave you a few for free so why pay for a few more. These will work if you want to change and you use them.
[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
My blood absolutely boils and I go batshit crazy when people on the interwebz spell ‘lose’ as ‘loose’. Yes, there is a difference, so I’ll use them in sentences for all to understand…
Lose: I hate when I lose arguments on the internet; my whole day gets ruined.
Loose: Her vag was so loose that even with my 9 inch cock (AROUND, that is…think about it) I felt like I was throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Much rage have I. I put a hole in a wall at my old high school because people are incompetent annoying, and my gf was giving me shit. To this day she still gives me shit about that. I have these urges on a regular basis to turn around and punch annoying people I overhear in class or stab them in the neck with my pen. In fact, a few hours ago I wanted to do that. Luckily, I’m too afraid of the consequences to act on those RAGE feelings.
Anyone other CS majors notice that people there are incredibly infuriating? Maybe it’s just my college.