Hello all. I hate to write this because there have been alot of’em but I’m becomimg desperate. After 5 years in a up and down relationship I am 2 months into a breakup. We were together at the end of high school through college, I am taking a semster off while she is still there. Basically I treated her like shit the last year because I was afraid she would be the last girl i was ever with so I distanced myself from her. Now that this mutual breakup has occured i realize all the mistakes i made and how I want to be with this girl the rest of my life. We have talked off and on, seeing each other about 3 times in the last 2 months and they have been hard. I have just wanted to hug and kiss her, and she has hinted some of the same feelings. Now I am trying to tell her I want to show her I know I was wrong but she is not having any part of it. She says that still loves me and is still in love with me, and that if i were to date someone else she would be hurt. But then she says that she wants to be alone and that I should have realized this earlier and she can’t go through it again. So my question is should I continue to push this, or just not call and wait for her to call me? I know that she would want to be friends not matter what, however i dont’ know if i can handle that. I know that i should stop pushing but I am going crazy wondering if I have just made the mistake of my life. Have been trying to keep busy with training/work/going out but my head has not been in any of it. Thanks for reading such a long post, and insight is greatly appreciated. And i apologize in advance for all the mispelled words:) Thanks again, Reggie
Reg,
You fucked up man. Under no circumstances should you ever mistreat a lady. It will bite you in the ass.
Start just by calling her more frequently, send her flowers/chocolate, etc. Also, tell her that she’s the one you want to be with and that you don’t want to EVER see anyone else. If she doesn’t take to the advances, you’re fucked and you might as well just be friends.
I would suggest sitting down with her, telling her exactley how you feel, like you did in this post, and seeing how she reacts. I think you said you kind of told her and she was resistant. This time be very serious and very clear on what you want. If after this she still isn;t interested in getting back together make a clean break. It might be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but doing hard things is part of what being a t-man is all about. It will be better for you in the long run. You may feel pain for a while until you meet new people and time passes, but if you stay friends with her everytime you see her you will feel pain that is worse. If after time passes and she realizes she wants to be with you than great, if not than it wasn;t meant to be and hopefully you will move on.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you
Groove
Is there anyway you can prove to her that you have matured? Sending her flowers and calling her will tell her that you are sorry and that you know you fucked up, but it doesn’t do anything to show her you have grown up. You need to convince her you aren’t going to do something else juvenile.
Thanks for the advice fellas. Don’t really know what’s going to happen yet but i suppose things will all work out one way or another. I thank you again for taking some time to post. Reggie
Dude, you want you can’t have. Move on, start dating other women. The more you chase your ex the harder to get she will play. Sounds like you already played games with her which will always come back to haunt you. Life goes on, man.
I had a problem like this, yet it was in reverse. I was the one getting screwed over. Having her give you another chance and having her put her heart out there is probably one of the hardest things she’ll ever do. But I tell you if there is a real connection there just keep on it. Don’t give up, wear her down till she sees how absolutely serious you are!!