idk where to go though…
eating more → more fat gain , I’m already extremely dissatisfied, and don’t have the mental energy to put in the effort to training necessary for a productive gaining phase (next semester is going to be hell)
eating less → less fat gain but I seem to lack willpower
With eat more, are you satisfied from eating more food compared to when you eat less and still don’t get the results you want?
not really
I might get the same results, but there’s constant anxiety of what will happen in the future when I might need to drop down to 1500 bc of reduced activity levels from work/being an adult and metabolic changes as I age
Sometimes I wish I could just give up. Not care about how I look or how strong I am or what my grades are, how well I score on tests.
What would it be like to be a “normal” college kid who goes to parties, sleeps in …
Why can’t you?
bc I’ll regret it when it comes time to undo the damage
It’s much easier to stay fit than to have to regain fitness. I HATE having to start over.
Part of the reason I’m so unhappy with now my body is changing is bc I worked really hard to lose the weight from when I was in middle school
From my outside perspective, this is not appearing easy for you at all.
If I were in a situation where eating how I liked and not eating how I liked wete producing the same outcome, I couldnt think of a reason to pick the latter over the former.
I haven’t been “on the diet” long enough to know whether I’m actually gaining fat, whereas I know I was gaining fat eating the way I liked
Not necessarily true. If you don’t drastically overeat this is not a foregone conclusion.
Not true you would get stronger and perform better (see your awesome deadlift day)
No offense but worrying about reduced activities that may occur in the future is pointless as if you have no control around it is (no offense) stupid. The thing about being an adult is we are fully in control of how we balance our lives. Many people with full time office jobs and kids manage to walk 10k steps a day and workout 2/3 times a week so what makes you think you would not be able to do that?
Regarding metabolic changes (which is a valid point but complicated due to multiple reasons for metabolism slowing down in old age) I think you know that strength training and eating in a surplus and building muscle speeds it up. So if this is a worry does logic not lean towards building the metabolism so when the slow down due to old age occurs we are in a good space?
Now to actually contribute to the actual issue, I am very hesitant in suggesting these things and I am already regretting this but have you tried
24-32 hour fasts? These are STUPID AF for weightloss but fantastic for helping us understand our hunger signals and realise the difference between hunger and craving food signals
Skipping breakfast/ doing a IF protocol? This ties in with the fasting because in many people not eating first thing in the morning tends to reduce hunger in the rest of the day where as having a small meal tends to set you up for being hungry for the day.
Keto/Low carb?
Getting rid of conditioning? Most of the people who do conditioning on this forum do it to increase hunger so they can eat more. Perhaps getting rid of it to reduce hunger and eat less would help
Ah, once again, it appears I have completely misunderstood a previous post. It appeared earlier, when you mentioned your bodyweight, that you felt you were gaining fat. This is my mistake.
This approach is upper right quadrant then?
I feel like I’m gaining fat, but given that it’s only been 2 weeks on the diet and I haven’t gone thousands of calories over and it’s getting tk the end of the month, the most recent gain (.7lbs) is probably water.
Overall though, I’ve put on 2lbs of unwanted weight, which I’m pretty sure is mostly fat since water weight would have gone away and three months is not enough time to gain substantial amount of muscle for a small female who has been lifting for more than 5 yesrs
@mr.v3lv3t went to Alive and Kicking lobster today
It was disappointing and not worth the price
This is a big moment and I am really happy to observe it 
I’ve tried before and failed miserably
I used tk do that, but I’d just get much hungrier when I did eat
I find meats and fats hyper palatable so low carb didn’t help with appetite control
I don’t do much conditioning
I think you would benefit greatly from throwing away your scale.
This is NOT fat - like at all. So stop it.
You’ll have to keep in mind that Boston is one of the most expensive cities in the country to do just about anything in. That’ll often to lead to disappointment when viewed through the lens of monetary value. Sad but true, and why my time in the area was very short lived.
Ouch! At least you know the source now. Are you going to get them out anytime soon? I didn’t get knocked out when I had mine removed… Don’t be me.
The lobster was really fresh, but it was slightly overcooked
The mussels were well cooked, but I was an idiot and didn’t anticipate that they’d be steamed with garlic butter → extra calories 
Also got some smoked salmon, which was REALLY good, but again, overpriced
Restaurants are pretty good at sneaking in extra calories by way of extra flavor. Try not to sweat it.
I mean, I don’t think there was actually that much butter based on the residual left on the tray. Still pissed me off though, especially since the mussels were a tad overcooked
Week 3: Day 1
Press: 1x5-45, 55,65, 1x3-75; 1x5-80, 1x3-85, 1x1-90lbs; 1x5-80, 4x8-65lbs
DB fly: 5x10-15lb Dbs
Z press: 4x7-25lb Dbs
Lying leg raise: 4x12
Conditioning: 5min on the heavy bag