That video is insane!
Week 3: Day 1
2x(4/side, 4/side, 5/side)-37lbs w/ intensity modeifiers
- getting progressively easier on cardio and legs, press struggling to keep up. barely made the second set of 4 on the 2nd round
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Eat more, sleep more, and drop any and all extra sneaky training you’re doing on the side.
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Week 3: day2
2x(4/side, 4/side, 5/side)-32lbs w/ intensity modifier
- getting easier, felt really crap mentally so this was a win
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Interesting that this BMI chart
with you being between 5’0 and 5’1, allows for the lowest ‘healthy’ weight to be riiiiiiiiight where your ABSOLUTE TOP LIMIT is.
First of all, BMI is silly, but ESPECIALLY when you’re skinny. I’m 6’4 - the lowest “healthy” category - where you’re at - puts me at 155. That’s super unhealthy that you’re using a concrete number like that - the specificity of 103 jumped out at me, and I immediately checked the BMI charts. Dancing the line of “healthy” and “unhealthy” doesn’t make sense - it’s just a guideline, and those low-end values exist for Kenyan fuckin’ marathon runners. I think @T3hPwnisher said he’s 5’9? It says 125 is healthy for his height, and he had to (sort of) call off a cut for being too ripped at a BMI that’s bordering on ‘overweight’, haha.
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The scale is silly if you are trying to apply it universally, but it is okay for referencing some stuff.
Basically anyone that lifts with any kind of ambition should move themselves at least 20 or 30 pounds to the right on that scale, including the owner of this log. I am square in the middle of the “overweight” section, and that is after dropping 9 kilo.
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The biggest issue I’m having with my weight is that I feel like it’s going up consistently without reason and idk when it’s going to stop
I chose 103 because it’s 47kg, one of the official weight classes. They’re also strong, like 120-130kg squat and 100kg bench strong. I want to max out what I can do at 103. Granted, 100kg bench probably won’t happen because I don’t really care enough, but I feel that a 120kg squat and 150kg deadlift are perfect feasible, especially the deadlift since I was at 120kg weighing 40kg
The BMI for Asians is different. The range for healthy goes from 95-110
That people cut weight down to.
I expect this idea to be ignored as it doesn’t support your current paradigm.
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^^^This
Those good 103 competitors probably spend most their time at 110-115
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And yet you seem terrified of even approaching this weight? You’re 101 not 103 now and as Pwn said people cut weight for comps, not aim to stay under that weight year round.
You keep saying about worrying about weight gain because you’re not using a barbell, but that’s basically discounting any of the work you are currently doing which is silly. Yes when you return to a barbell you won’t be as neurologically efficient at the highly specific powerlifting movements but if you spend time now gaining weight, you’ll smash previous PRs in a matter of months (speaking from experience of a multi year layoff).
yep
I don’ t trust myself to be able to stick to a cut.
good point
I’m terrified right now because my weight’s on an upward trend without me being deliberate about it. Weighed in this morning at 102.4 (blocked up). Could be fluctuations, but a couple of weeks ago, I was 102.6 at the Dr’s office only an hour after lunch.
THe way my weight’s creeping up really scares me, especially since my hormone profile has apparently improved (higher thyroid levels, higher FSH) and I’m no longer taking exogenous hormones that are known to cause weight fluctuations AND I don’t think I’ve gotten looser with my diet
Emphasis on think
This is outstanding that you’re coming to terms with this. You’ve been dishonest with yourself a lot. Keep up the introspection! Make sure to discuss this in your therapy.
Same with all the fear language. It is awesome you are acknowledging that none of this is rational and all purely emotional.
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You’ve been doing that for years.
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A 0.2 lb variation in 2 weeks doesn’t indicate any trend, and certainly not one to be terrified about.
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True, but I feel the response is side-stepping my observation that you seem to have put yourself in a deficit again. Don’t be in a deficit. You are becoming a bigger individual, with more muscle than you had previously. That’s awesome, don’t stop.
On the ongoing topic of weight and BMI, it’s just straight garbage to focus on. I can’t really add any additional value to the current discourse, @flappinit and @Cyrrex covers the considerations to make with regards to BMI and being a lifter (skew the scale) and how weight classes work is covered by @T3hPwnisher and @vision1.
Lifting weights favours having weight. I’ve read in one of Jim Wendler’s articles,
“You can’t fire a cannon from a canoe! You have to weigh anchor.”
There is a sport that is more sensitive to weight in the other direction, bigger being disadvantageous — obviously, I’m talking about climbing.
Given my own struggles with weight I take great comfort in that this here is a picture of John Dunne who climbed an 8c+
I quote,
"Climbing 8c+ when only a handful in the world had, while eating as much as the rest of the 8c+ climbers put together. It didn’t really make sense.
— Dave McLeod. 9 out of 10 climbers make the same mistakes
Regrettably, the book manages to perpetuate the dogma that climbers have to get light, and remain light, while simultaneously highlighting several people that climb god-tier grades while not being featherweights.
To put the feat into reference, climbing an 8c+ is something the top 0.01% of the sport does.
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Its not a cut, its very short term temporary weight lots through manipulation of water and glycogen.
If you were 10lbs heavier cutting would be much easier because you wouldn’t be fighting a starving body.
One year later and the content of this log has changed im sad to see. I can’t help but think where you could be now if you’d followed the trajectory you were on early middle last year.
Looks like gaining weight is working then. Glad to see your body is winning this fight.
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Not really a fan of your goals, but I do understand it. That said, you will NEVER get them at 103, not with your current issues. Unless you are walking around at 120 and then cut responsibly before the attempts.
Also, all things being equal, your (partially imagined) weight gain will stop. That’s just the math of plateaus. But let’s keep in mind that your body is still fighting itself, so it may take longer than you like. Which is a good thing, because you really would be better off between 110 and 120. In ALL facets of your life.
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Yup. Pretty silly to keep doing something you don’t enjoy that is giving you results you don’t want.
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My next log title.
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Maxing out what you can do at 103 involves bulking up to at least 10 to compete at 103 like every other top 103 competitor in the world.
This holds true at every weight class, but more-so in lower weight classes to a significant degree.
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Everyone else has covered other points perfectly (reality of competition weight vs everyday weight, how to get there, etc), but I want to further address one if the major issues blocking you: that is, your eating disorder and body image problems.
I have a friend who, much like you, looks at herself in the mirror and thinks, “I’m fat”, despite the fact she absolutely is NOT. She openly admits she has body image issues, and also is open about the fact that she purges when she gets in bad head spaces, sometimes to the point of effectively having zero calories ingested throughout the day. Her stated goal is to be “90’s Kate Moss skinny” (which is SO fucking skinny). Sadly, she is already at that point but can’t see it.
She’s done a lot of research into body image and eating disorders, and most of them stem from one major thing: your brain is “broken”. Some research done into people with body image issues showed that, when using a type of mapping for where people looked when observing a human face, those with eating and body image disorders focused on completely different parts of the face than those without; most humans look at things like the eyes and mouth to pick up on emotions. Those with ED and BI issues focused on things like nose, cheeks, jaw, etc, in a seemingly random and frantic manner, suggesting a stressful analyzation of features, not emotions.
You need to let that fact sink in: your mind, when it comes to critically analyzing the reality of your body, is LITERALLY incapable of doing so with accuracy. That’s why when you post a photo and say, “Ugh, XYZ is different and bad”, and we all say, “Uuuuuhhh, what? Nothing’s different”, we’re not just trying to make you feel better, we, as people with a regularly functioning mind when it comes to these things, recognize there is NO difference. Your mind, however, is ACTIVELY looking for something WRONG with your body, even if there is none!
I also want to include an anecdote from my own life to show the fact that just eating less isn’t the only way to be in a deficit, expending more calories is also a way to can be in a deficit. A few years ago when I was still teaching and training martial arts religiously, I was upset I wasn’t putting on weight. I bounced around at about 170, but never could go beyond that. I was meticulous about tracking my calories, and was eating around 4k a day.
Now, most people would see that and think, “How the fuck weren’t you gaining weight??” Well, I was also teaching 4-6 hours a day (which involves a lot of demonstration and high energy), then training 1-2 hours myself in the evening, AND was weight training 2-3 days a week AND 1-2 additional days of moderate to hard aerobic work. Guess how many calories I was burning every day? Usually at or slightly over my intake. There was no way I was gonna gain weight, and I felt like crap a lot, especially in my joints. My body NEEDED more food.
There’s no quick fix for this, unfortunately. You’re going to have good days and bad days, and I’m really glad you’re in therapy and proud of you for taking that step towards caring for yourself. Just make sure you allow yourself to open up and let your therapist try to help you, because that’s what they want to do. Also, as @T3hPwnisher has mentioned before, continue with the introspection, because the more you understand yourself, the more you can open up and allow someone like a therapist to help you in turn.
Sticking to the program I gave you is a huge step in the right direction, because it’s performance based, which is ultimately where your brain needs to be at. Your body still has a lot of catching up to do to be healthy though, because it’s been overworked and under-fuelled for a long time, and you may need to go to a point where your mind is uncomfortable with, regarding your body, for a while before the ship starts righting itself.
Again, we’re all frustrated with you not because we want to pick on you, but because we care about you and want to see you succeed. I was a coach and am a father, and many of the others seemingly berating you daily are also parents. You’ll never understand it fully until you become a parent, but the whole “tough love” thing stems from a deep, fearful desire to see someone do well but being afraid they’ll fail. We don’t want you to fail. And neither does your mother, which is why she rides you so hard.
Anyways, rant over.
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