Umm…No.
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When’s the last time you took an entire week off from training and cut your daily step count in half?
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When I was in the hospital recovering from kidney surgery 
(still got in 3k steps a day though)
A week off from training can do wonders every once in awhile to clear your head. Especially now as universities resume instruction during such a crazy time. It’s stressful on everyone.
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Anna will see this post as “you should up the steps and more hard conditioning, don’t lose focus now”.
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You overestimate my work ethic 
I feel like this is how nearly every reply on this log is viewed.
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No one overestimates your work ethic but you consistently underestimate it. I’d run myself ragged pushing myself as hard as you push yourself. And you seem to have run yourself ragged as well. This is not a failure, it’s simply what happens when you do too much.
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Week 4: day2 - off program (yesterday’s workout)
Rows: 10/side-1/side minimal rest btw sets
Rdls: 5x10/side- minimal rests
Push-ups: max reps-60
20min weighted walk-25lb kB in backpack
- I realized I’d been neglecting rows and hamstring stuff so decided to hit it hard, felt really really good, upper and mid back on fire, didn’t really feel hamstrings or glutes at the time, but pretty sore this morning, my heat tolerance has definitely improved since the walk didn’t feel too hard despite a 110F heat index
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Another failed workout attempt. Lower body still a bit pissed (knees not sore though) I think this is the first time I didn’t feel better after my warmup.
The most discouraging thing is that I used to be able to do more work, eating less and with a much shitter warmup- WTF??!!
Another strong indication you’ve officially pushed your body entirely too far and need to take a serious, regimented, complete break from training for a week, minimum. I don’t know a single human that could sustain what you sustained for years, and you’ve clearly done damage to your body that needs to heal. I’d venture a guess that you would freak at the immediate progress you would make after a solid week off while still eating 2000 kcal per day.
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This would be a nice experiment, but idk how to stick to it
The mindfuck is that I’ll probably feel 100xbetter by 11 and be able to get all the work done
Seek professional help. I know you have an aversion to it because of bad past experiences, but when you do get help and get things under control, you will kick yourself for not doing it sooner. I’d venture a guess that you may even consider this period of your life “wasted” because you’ll understand how miserable you’ve felt and how much better everything is when you have balance in your life.
This is just mentally forcing your body to do something it’s not ready to do.
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Again, I think I and other posters have echoed this earlier, but it really should not come to you as any surprise that you feel this way. I’m surprised that you’re surprised, but I guess that’s the reality of this log. I imagine your hormones are totally out of whack – even when you eventually can touch a barbell again, you are setting yourself up for lackluster progress. These things can’t be reversed in a month’s time. They’re long-term, and the sooner you address the root cause of the problem, the better you will feel and perform.
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I am going to echo @garagerocker13 here. Please seek professional help. Now that you are an adult, you can specify that nothing from any medical sessions get disclosed to anyone but you and the doctor (just don’t list anyone on the HIPPA form).
It appears as though your body is reacting to the lower work load by seeing at as a chance to get out of a “survival mode” type situation where you were pushing way to hard. It is screaming at you to slow down and recover.
I haven’t dealt with the same struggle you are going through but have dealt with depression and looking back I wish I would have told my doctor about it long before I did.
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The reason I feel so obligated to help here is because I have. It made me miss out on my early college years, before I had any real obligation or responsibility and when everyone usually has the most fun they ever have. I obsessed over training and eating, over-restricted everything, and missed out on a whole lot of fun stuff because I was horrified to get “fat” like my family. Pretty sure my wife saved my life because I slowed things down and learned to relax a bit when we got together and have been pissed ever since because of how I wasted so much time before.
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I’ve generally struggled with probability, but I’m 99% certain that my definition of “having fun in college” differs significantly from the majority. By my standards, I’m having a lot of fun
I’m probably similar to Anna regarding the “fun-ness” in college. I was never into parties/alcohol/etc. and went to a school among like-minded individuals, hahaha. I wouldn’t say it was fun, but I do sort of miss being challenged in that way. So I could see how that approach couldn’t be convincing to Anna.
Though I did miss out on opportunities like going out to grab lunch or dinner with people because I was afraid of messing up nutrition, which I now know would NEVER have happened anyway. I regret those little things. It doesn’t take much to say no, and no one is offended. I still would say no to a lot of things nowadays because I’m so introverted. But I think I left a lot of potential friendships or useful connections on the table because of my nutritional fears. I also wasted years lifting in college and not eating enough, and it showed because my numbers remained stagnant for that time.
With all that said, I was able to get over all of those things by myself, and I’m glad I did. But I agree with everyone else here – talking with a professional would be best in this situation. And there’s no shame in that.
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I was speaking more along the lines of what @Bagsy is saying, rather than partying. I’d miss hangouts with my friends and family for either lifting or cardio or because I’d run myself so far into the ground I didn’t have the energy for it. And holy shit do I agree with the lifting and not supporting it with eating…when I got that in check I gained 20 pounds of mostly muscle and set lifetime PR’s for months straight.
And @anna_5588, I thought I was having fun too when doing that. In hindsight I had no idea what fun was.
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I’ve likened it to going to A and E if you break your leg. The analogy ran deeper last time, because it was appropriate, but my point here is just that there’s no stigma or fear for most people seeking help from medical professionals when they have physical issues, and mental issues should be seen the same way.
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