No quotes: this is self harm.
Many folks say “I would do anything to do XYZ”, but then, when anything shows up, we find out what the limits are. I feel like what you’re discovering, as far as your goals go, is that leanness is more important to you than lifting. Which, again, is fine, so long as you are at peace with that. Issues only occur when we fail to acknowledge that.
I had to do similar soul searching. As much as I love being strong, I’ve made the choice that having a sub 40" waist is more important to me for my goals.