what’s in the water bottle?
PJ84: Thanks so much man, I really do appreciate it! i hope your workout ended up awesome!
Badmf: Yea man I am still considering doing a PL comp…But I would much rather do some strongman stuff. it just seems more interesting to me. But it is tough to find comps, and even if I could I am rarely off on weekends to go…we will see what happens.
And yea I am kind of pitching forward on the front squats, it is juts because of it being my 1 RM, it normally doesn’t look like that, but you know how things start breaking down when things get heavy…oh and the bar in the throat thing sucks, but like you said it is not supposed to be easy! thanks so much fro stopping in brother!
Bunny: “INTEREO CASSUS” I am definitely digging that! Thanks for that and the kind words man!
Darryl: If you mean the protein shaker in my vids, it is a mix of water, Optimum Nutrition and SurgeRrecovery…I drink mine during my workouts not post because it stabilizes my blood sugar and helps me fight off the nausea…Thanks for asking
Doubleh: Thnaks for stopping in and asking a great question bro, the answer to the last two are, yes, i have been holding this type of diet for quite sometime now, at least a few years and have steadily been increasing in strength for that entire time…and yes I have been 235 for a little bit when i was a personal trainer but I was definitely fatter than I was now…now for the big question…
So for doubleh and anyone else who cares, here is a brief lifting history of mine since I haven’t really covered this in the log yet…I’ll bullet in so it is not as boring to read, and if you want me to go into more detail on any parts just ask and i’ll do my best to answer…
-
Started lifting as a sophomore in high school. weighed around 160-170 from playing sports, kickboxing, and doing construction as a job…I remember I couldn’t even bench the 25’s on each side and got laughed at my first time in the weight room…
-
i worked my ass off literally everyday, even after practices or kickboxing…i was a machine and by senior year i was weighing 185-195. I could bench 275 for 2 and could squat 315 for like 5…I didn’t dead lift…
-My senior year I shattered my knee cap and tore virtually all of the ligaments in my knee fighting, lost my baseball scholarship, was in a cast for 9 months, went through 3 knee surgeries, rehab, and lots of time on crutches…
-when I got better, i was in a different college than I had planned to be in and got into a drunken brawl breaking my hand…My last doc’s visit for my leg, I walked in with a new cast on my had…it was a bad year…this break required more pins and surgeries…
-So after all of that time off I had no interest in lifting anymore, so I drank a whole lot and chased girls for th rest of my 4 years at university…
-After college I got back into lifting big time…i found T-mag, learned how I was actually supposed to lift, and got to it…I worked construction all day and trained harder than I ever have in my whole life every night…I got to 220 lbs while figuring out what I wanted to do with my life…It was in these years that I benched 405 for the first time and squatted 450…I still didn’t dead lift correctly…
-I decided that i like lifting enough that I wanted to became a personal trainer, I got a few certs (that are now expired-they were worthless anyway) and lifting became my life…this was around 2003-2005…
-I hit an all time high bodyweight of 235-240lbs (But was fatter) and was deadlifting close to 600, benching in the 400’s and squatting near 500…I entered a local raw bench competition and won the whole thing with a 435 press at 225lbs BW…A week later I broke my L3 and L5 in an MMA fight…
-Rehab for that while doing construction work and personal training hurt a lot and my lifting suffered greatly…I was planning on moving to Australia to work with youth kids and surf a lot, when some crazy junk happened in life and I got a call from the Government to come play with them…
-After working with them for a few years, and training for fighting on the side, i was getting ready for a fight when my health started going crazy and test lead to more test which lead to the brain tumor…
-I have alway been part of T-Nation but a silent observer, until recently I was lacking motivation and i figured starting a log might hold me more accountable…So here we are…
-i know people think I am a genetic freak, and I am not going to lie…my dad is a beastly guy…but he has also done hard construction work for almost 40 years now and is still going at it…he is the one who taught me how to WORK and taught me that if I am going to do something then it is worth going for it 100%…I think I gained more of his mindset and guidance than I even did physically…
I may have been given some good genes but just ask Stclair20 (the only person on here who actually knows me in person)…I have put the time and effort in, and anyone willing to be as disciplined and work as hard can get to where I am…
I know it was not too in depth, but I hope that gives some of you an idea of where I have come from lifting wise…if you have questions please ask
Thanks so much for putting up with me and reading all of this…but it is energy systems time for me…I’ll check in again later…
Alpha wrote:
“I may have been given some good genes but just ask Stclair20 (the only person on here who actually knows me in person)…I have put the time and effort in, and anyone willing to be as disciplined and work as hard can get to where I am…”
I help him w/his butt injections … wait, what?
[quote]badmf wrote:
Today I discovered Ben and Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns. A new PR for best icecream ever eaten!
[/quote]
Agreed on this. But to get back to the thread…
Alpha, thanks for the training history. Just out of curiosity (and since you said you were a little fatter at your peak weight) what would you guess was about the highest body fat you let yourself get to? … Doesn’t have to be a number even, just kind of relative to where we see you in the latest pics. Thanks again for all the info and good motivational material.
EDIT: Jonnyblaze: Sorry bro, I just posted and saw you had also…Ummm I’d say probably 15% is about as high as I have ever gotten…At my fattest in college the beer had just about completely stolen my abs before I decided I needed to do something about it! thanks for asking brother!
Stclair: See now that is how rumors start! Bring on the allegations that I am either on roids or that you are my secret gay lover…Aye…i will kill you and eat your brains next training day…by the way-your turn to drive, that was a lot today!
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
-Walt Emerson
07.19.09
Training
Ran 1/2 mile
Did 4 200m hill sprints
Then it started raining so i went on an hour recovery jog in the woods and back roads near my house…
My body is pretty beat up from maxing out so i am thinking 2 more days of it to see if I can’t up those numbers just a little bit more–then I need to go back to something with a little more volume and lighter weights…
Stclair20 and I drove all over God’s green earth today to shoot guns and such for work, and we talked a lot of training…he put some ideas in my head, so we will see what comes of it…Sure wish that pansy would do the i,bodybuilder thing to see if it works and keep a log of it with before and after pics along with vids and inspiring quotes…ahhh but i digress…
-Side note…I am trying a new thing with my slep, we will see if this helps my insomnia at all…I’ll let you all know more as it develops…
Drugs not hugs,
-b
Thanks for writing that training history up. Plenty of ups and downs, but you’ve made it on top regardless. Gives me motivation to push through this hernia-repair speed bump with the same consistency (diet, sleep) I would approach a training block.
Thanks for the training history - great stuff. I know you’ve been into Dan John/CW style training for a while, just wondering what you were doing prior to that. Anyhow, it’s hard to believe that you were ever “lacking motivation”!
Your latest quote reminded me of one by another Emerson (R.W.) - “make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you”.
Alpha - great stuff man, thanks for the info. You have overcome a ton of injuries, which speaks volumes about your discipline and dedication (not that it was in question in the first place). Maybe you have been blessed with great genes, but I’ve never seen anyone get jacked and push huge weight without working hard, regardless of what they’ve been blessed with.
Well, that’s not entirely true. There are a few very rare athletes who really are “genetic freaks”. But I digress.
I’m actually a little relieved to hear you were both heavier and very nearly at your current level of strength a few years back. I’m not sure I would have believed you had you made large increases to your PRs over the years eating like you do. 
Obviously you are very lean. Have you ever given any thought to eating a surplus for a year or so, getting your weight up, and REALLY annihilating those PRs? Hell, you could probably approach a 500 bench, 600 squat and 650 dead, all raw. Those are ridiculous numbers. I know you eat the all-shake diet partly out of necessity, but still, just curious.
Finally, if I follow the timeline accurately I’m assuming you’re in your early 30’s (maybe late 20’s), correct? Also, what gov agency do you work for? I have a friend doing what I think may be similar work to you for the State Dept.
Sorry for all the ?s, I’m just curious and, like I said, impressed with your log. I wanted to know a bit more about how you got to where you are.
Watch your ass with stclair around,
DoubleH
DoubleH wrote:
“Watch your ass with stclair around”
I can’t help it I like butts.
Alpha - I may indeed try I, BODYBUILDER I just want to see it first. As of now it just seems like another Biotest ad for the latest and greatest supplement Anaconda. Heading to Munich tomorrow - i’ll be on the lookout for men in pink shirts.
[quote]stclair20 wrote:
DoubleH wrote:
“Watch your ass with stclair around”
I can’t help it I like butts.
Alpha - I may indeed try I, BODYBUILDER I just want to see it first. As of now it just seems like another Biotest ad for the latest and greatest supplement Anaconda. Heading to Munich tomorrow - i’ll be on the lookout for men in pink shirts.[/quote]
Why not just look for men in capris? There’s plenty around here. I can’t understand the European male fascination with girl pants.
the pink shirt is an inside joke about some dude who made an anti-American remark to Alpha and almost died for it - he can thank his friends for saving his ass. and i don’t get the European male fashion sense period but maybe that’s just me
Flow: Man, I have no doubt at all that you will be back killing it in no time…You are mentally building who you will be in the following years right now with this set back…Some cheesy guy one time said, “Set backs are just set ups for comebacks”…Cheesy as hell I know, but I have no doubts that you will remain positive and come back better than you were before…Believe no one but yourself and what you know inside you…Inspire us all brother!
aut: i did normal Body building BS before this stuff, but change really started once I turned to full body stuff…And thanks for the quote brother, I am digging it! Thanks for stopping in!
DoubleH: Thanks for commenting and asking more good questions bro, here are some answers:
You asked:
“I’m actually a little relieved to hear you were both heavier and very nearly at your current level of strength a few years back. I’m not sure I would have believed you had you made large increases to your PRs over the years eating like you do. :)”
Well, don’t be too relieved: I was weaker at that weight, i had more fat…I definitely have gained more lean body mass on this diet, and I was at lower levels of strength before I broke my back…POST broken back my numbers have been creeping back up – But since being on this diet/workout My numbers look something like this:
Heaviest BW & No broken back — new diet/broken old man
Deads: 570ish – Now 600+
Squats: 500ish – 565+
Military: 225x1 – 255x2
Bench: 405x2 – 455x1 or 405x6
Front squat: 315 – 435
Pull ups: BW+90 – BW+160
So I have no doubt that i am just about as strong as i have ever been even with a broken back and liquid diet,
im not bragging, just saying that if you think that I haven’t made the best gains of my life on this kind of diet and training, i’d say you are crazy…I think my mindset has made all of the difference and the food can’t hold a candle to the will to succeed inside me…I think we all possess this, we just need to tap it.
You asked:
“Obviously you are very lean. Have you ever given any thought to eating a surplus for a year or so, getting your weight up, and REALLY annihilating those PRs? Hell, you could probably approach a 500 bench, 600 squat and 650 dead, all raw. Those are ridiculous numbers. I know you eat the all-shake diet partly out of necessity, but still, just curious.”
In a word “NO”. I am not a body builder, nor do I want to look like one. I train for different reasons that most people understand because they have not been in my shoes. The day this becomes just about muscles and weights, I will be done with it.
I have nothing against those who want those things, but they are simply not me…To be honest with you, I already have too much muscle right now, (I can run or fight very effectively this bulky) so i will actually probably be shedding a little bit of the mass once I am done with these max effort lifts…I will look worse in a t-shirt but the U.S. will be a safer place–ya gotta choose your priorities
You asked:
“Finally, if I follow the timeline accurately I’m assuming you’re in your early 30’s (maybe late 20’s), correct? Also, what gov agency do you work for? I have a friend doing what I think may be similar work to you for the State Dept.”
That’s the million dollar question brother! Unfortunately it is classified info and I cannot share it, i would never say anything as trite as, “I could tell you or I’d have to kill you”, so i will say, “I could tell you, but then Stclair20 would have to kill you!” But I do not do what your friend does i can tell you that—I don’t deal with the state dept.
I’m 29 by the way, and be careful of Stclair, he’s touchy and kind of a badass…
But seriously, thanks so much for asking great questions, it is a pleasure to answer them! Don’t be a stranger brother
StClair: If you see that Mofo – End him. Be safe brother and check your 6
nvh95: What IS with guys and capris! My dad would break me if he ever saw me dressed like that!
But Stclair is making a reference of when a UK guy in a pink shirt in Munich insulted America and myself, so he ended up against a wall with my hand around his throat…it was all pretty funny,at the time but looking back, it was pretty stupid and could have ended real badly for a lot of people…Thanks so much for checking back in!
EDIT: Sorry i hadn’t seen Stclair had posted that!
Great (B)log Alpha!
I read the whole thing about a week ago and I check in every couple days…thought I would let you know…
take care
and Keep doing what your doing!
[quote]stclair20 wrote:
the pink shirt is an inside joke about some dude who made an anti-American remark to Alpha and almost died for it - he can thank his friends for saving his ass. and i don’t get the European male fashion sense period but maybe that’s just me[/quote]
LOL! I must be projecting b/c I kept reading pink SHORTS not shirt. Must be something about the whole butt injection thing.
Yup, European male fashion has got to be the greatest turnoff to womankind (or at least me). Add the fact that most are skinny fat and you’ve got a really long dry spell for dating. lol! At least I’m a part of the military community here, so that offsets the capris, overly tight t-shirts (some of those guys should get training bras) and black socks with sandals.
And Alpha, please, no international incidents for you!
Alpha, thanks for going out there and keeping us safe, you’re a good guy.
And I had an awful workout yesterday, couldn’t get my head focused, as somebody who regularly has to workout with less then stellar conditions, what advice do you have besides just putting your head down and getting shit done.
Nvh95: Thanks for stopping in again!
WS4JB: Hey man thanks a lot for the nice things you said…Imay not have a whole lot of good advice to give as far as what to do when you are facing less than optimal circumstances, but I can give you some things I try to think about…
Firstly, I always try to focus on the positive aspects of what I am attempting to do that day and what I can control. Things like my attitude and level of intensity. If you are looking at the issues that are stacked against you, such as lack of food, sleep and time - Your thoughts will kind of become a self(fulfilling prophesy. If you think you are going to be weak because of extraneous circumstances than you will be.
Essentially if you choose to do this (Like I have at times) you are preparing rationalizations for yourself so that if you do not perform as well as you would have liked, you have some excuses to fall back upon…Avoid doing this like you would avoid a prison gangbang!
Instead, focus on things like the fact that getting through those front doors is often the hardest part of the workout. Or that some of the best training days of your life have happened under conditions such as this. Or that you get 10 more “I’m not a pansy” points because you chose to overcome instead of give in that day.
Secondly, and tandem with this: Find out what motivates you and use it for all that it is worth.
Some people catch a buzz extrinsically through music or training partner’s encouragement, or even seeing hot fitness chicks workout out around them.
Others are intrinsically motivated and get pumped by remembering why they are there in the first place (Health, muscles, Doctor’s orders, goals)or use positive self-talk to get themselves going.
Figure out what motivates you - then proceed to suckle off that teet as much as you can.
Thirdly, and finally; Pick a set early on in your workout. Decide that no matter what, even if it is sub stellar and weak as hell-- that you are going to get psyched and put everything you have into this next 30 seconds.
Take that one set and rape the living hell out of it. Often times it only takes a short burst of energy and adrenaline to completely change our internal mindset and external production. Once you lay it all out there, you will see how quickly things change and trust me, the workout will drastically improve.
Get it started early and hard, and the rest will fall into place.
Understand that sometimes you do just “have to put your head down and get it done” but also learn that you are 100x stronger and more capable of doing more than you think you are.
I have read studies that have said that the absence of ANY food at all doesn’t even really start to affect our true physical potential until we have fasted for at least 9 DAYS straight. More likely than not what is holding us back is our minds and the mental toll that crappy situations force us to take.
Fortunately, we can CHOOSE to control what our minds do, and if the mind can go there, the body will always follow…
Great question, thanks for asking!
I’ll Post some things that personally motivate me on hard days like this in a little bit
“If you think you are going to be weak because of extraneous circumstances than you will be”.
Hey Brother…I love this. I was told a 500# deadlift at my age and height would be out of the question. I love shit like that to motivate me.
As always the words you write are inspirational and very, very appreciated. I’ll have a new deadlift and DB bench PR’s to share with you soon…Dent
Alpha,
My comment about your strength levels increasing dramatically on the liquid diet was based on this quote:
“I hit an all time high bodyweight of 235-240lbs (But was fatter) and was deadlifting close to 600, benching in the 400’s and squatting near 500…I entered a local raw bench competition and won the whole thing with a 435 press at 225lbs BW…A week later I broke my L3 and L5 in an MMA fight…”
… which if I follow the timeline correctly was circa 2005-2006 or so. So I suppose we’re talking about a 35-lb increase in deads, 20 lbs on bench, and 65 lbs squatting over the past 3-odd years, with a broken back mixed in. Still very impressive considering the back (especially the squat), but more on par with what I had kind of figured. IOW, yes you are as strong as you ever have been, but the PRs you are setting now are within a reasonable distance of what you had achieved a few years back, considering you are on a never-ending diet. Again, don’t get me wrong, I am still very impressed. I said I was relieved because I half expected to hear you say you were a 300-400-500 guy 3 years ago, and were now running 455-565-605 on your all-whey diet.
Interesting response re: gaining weight. I must say, you are probably the strongest guy I’ve ever seen (e-seen?) that was lifting for a reason other than powerlifitng, bodybuilding, or athletics. I’ll hazard a guess that a small part of it is for your job, but the much larger part is challenging yourself, the discipline it takes to stay as strong as you are in the condition you are in. Or maybe chicks… Yeah, gotta be the chicks.
Finally, I think you [I]should[I] have said “I could tell you but I’d have to kill you”. Good laugh > trite response any day of the week. I’m guessing your a company man, as you said you go to VA quite often (Langley), and NSA HQ is in MD. You don’t have to confirm anything, though, I’d rather stay living.
Keep on killin’ it (figuratively and literally),
DoubleH
A lot of people PM me and have asked similar questions to the one WS4JB asked above, but what a lot of people typically end up wanting to know is, “Why do you choose to do what you do?”
I have stumbled my way through half assed attempts and explanations, but none really capture the idealistic, asinine, nature of the way I look at training and life.
I am VERY intrinsically motivated and use a lot of positive self-talk to get through bad days…
So for WS4JB and those of you who have asked over PM, in a bulleted nut shell, here is an ongoing list of some things that help me push through…
I do it because:
-I feel truly blessed that I have been given the health, opportunity, food, and knowledge to make something better of myself; physically, mentally, and spiritually. There are literally millions of people out there who have overcome insurmountable odds and achieved outlandish things without receiving all of the blessing that I have been given…If I am a poor steward of such things; Than I have offended God, myself, and my fellow man by not pushing to the very edge of my perceived limits. To live with anything less is simply settling, and is an abomination in my mind.
-The moment I aim for mediocrity, you may as well put two in my skull. I would honestly rather be dead that be considered “average”. If I wanted to look and perform like everyone else, I would live and train like everyone else.
-Time spent suffering and overcoming builds something inside us that cannot be purchased, replaced, or explained. But without it, we are shallow and impotent. It is truly a travesty that so many of us choose a life of comfort and convenience instead of getting aquatinted with this powerful animal inside ourselves. I want to know who I am and what I am capable of.
-My mind and body do not accept capitulation very well. What breaks most people simply makes me push harder. It’s not the challenge that drives me; it is the notion of not WANTING to challenge myself anymore that scares the hell out of me.
-My life is looking like it is going to turn out WAY too short to be lived safely and “easily”. When I leave this mortal coil, I want the Earth itself to be sore. Then smile and be happy that it doesn’t need to deal with me anymore.
-When I am completely honest with myself; any rationalization that I can come up with is really just a whored out excuse playing dress-up. I know the truth, if I give in, I only have myself to blame.
-I see people sitting on their couches every night choosing to watch TV rather than getting out and living life or pushing their limits. A life not being lived overflowing is not really being lived at all.
-I hate half-assing things-If I choose to do something I will give it 100% of myself. If I canâ??t guarantee that, I simply will not do it.
-I spend a lot of my time in the gym that could be spent elsewhere, and time is the one thing I can’t get back. If my time is going to be given to training, I am not going to waste one second of it. Thus, when I train, I am going to train with everything I have.
-I don’t train for the strength that bigger muscles will provide. I train for the strength that grows inside me from challenging myself day in and day out. The day this becomes about muscles and weights, I am done.
-Pain and sacrifice look much different to me than they look to most people.
-Other people’s bad days may include getting yelled at, my bad days could entail me getting my head sawed off on the internet…I’m going to work my ass off to make sure I ALWAYS have good days.
-Feeling sorry for myself and blaming other things and people for my short comings has never really made me feel better.
-Puking is less scary than training and acting like 80% of fitness community.
-I want to prove that what I THINK I can do is nowhere near what my CAPABILITIES are.
-Principals, integrity, and hard work have always been better mortar for me than empty words.
-Discipline, determination and desire are built; they are not innate in anyone.
-We need leaders. Not just in this game, but in life. The sad excuses that we call our “leaders” now are an embarrassment. We can be more. I may not be it, but if I can inspire whoever is, then I have helped.
-I’ll never know “how far was too far” until I am looking back at it shaking my head and smiling.
-I have been told what is possible my whole life…It bores me. Now I am only interested in the “impossible”. People have been setting their standards way too low for far too long. Someone might as well come along and make them look stupid for doing that. Maybe that someone is me. Maybe it is you.
Like I said at the beginning, this list is ongoing, and I could write this kind of junk all night long. I just wanted to give those of you who took the time to ask the questions some sort of an answer.
I hope this has cleared up some stuff about “why I do what I do”, and maybe even gave you some stuff to think about and consider…
As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read and check this thing out.
Edit: Sorry these posted while i was writing that last thing
Dent: Thanks brother, I have no doubts about those Pr’s man, it is like money in the bank!
doubleh: yea sorry bro, I got what you were saying now! Thanks for checking back in and clarifying! I appreciate it!
ALPHA FOR PRESIDENT…Enough said!!