Oh the damage I would do.
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I think it comes from this idea that i’m still not big enough to worry about dieting. My body just seems to settle happily at 102-104kgs. With that my arms look good, i’m not looking chubby but also don’t look lean.
But with that weight, i get to have my cheat meals, get to drink beers and still can add strength to my lefts. I feel good at this weight apart from my abs. The rest of my body looks fine at this level of leanness.
No motivation comes from dieting in that i lose strength on my hard earned lifts, i don’t get to drink and socialise (which life is too short to miss out on) and i do seem to lose size everywhere apart from my stomach for the first weight loss section. I’m also not really big enough that it really makes much difference when i drop 5kg or so.
So if this sounds a little moany, just sitting at 38 years old thinking i’m never going to get the body i want firstly being a natural and secondly this late in life. Putting on muscle is so hard and i’m not sure i want to sacrifice that time for dieting (although i probably should).
It doesn’t help that my gym is full of people on steroids giving me a continued false sense of what is normal. Lovely people but frustrating to compete with.
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I’m not going to try to give you advice here because I’m at the same place with my “goals” or philosophy. I cut down, I saw my abs, got back to bulking and watched them disappear as the questionable fake nattys would call me skinny and say things like “you’ve lost weight”. Thankfully those comments didn’t affect me like they did when I was insecure and super underweight. The experience has made me realize that how I feel is more important than my body composition.
At 5ft 10", I feel best at ~180-185lb. I don’t plan to excede that too much and I don’t plan to cut too far down below that. Bulk to the end of that range, cut down to bulk back up to that range. Each time I might get a little leaner with a bit more definition but that’s a LONG game. I know where I want to be so I’m not going to chase some low bodyfat ahead of how I feel, how I filll a tshirt, or how hard I can train. The only real obstacle is making the ~10lb bulks last as long as possible.
I know I can lose ~8-10lbs in around a month. 4-5month bulks 2x/year, 2 fast in and out cuts. Not bothered about reaching arbitary standards or abs. Just want to stay around this bodyweight whilst chipping away making improvements. Without being defeatist, there’s a saying about naturals that you can either be big or you can be lean, you can’t be both. Somewhere in the middle is my happy place.
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OK now i am going to sound like a grumpy old dude.
It is very possible that you will never get the body you truly want. Hell at 16 years old I wanted to be Rich Gaspari and that never happened. If your comparing yourself to guys who are juicing or looking to bodybuilding magazines, then I am sorry to tell you but forget it. Unless you want to jump on gear, in which case do your research and try to do it safely. I wont judge it is a personal choice.
But FFS mate you are 38 years old, already at a good weight for your height with a decent level of strength. You literally have 12 years of consistent training ahead of you before you get to my age. And let me tell you I am not obsolete yet.
I hear what you say about how you feel at this weight vs being lighter with abs. That’s exactly how I feel at 90+ KG’s. I am not fat but I deff don’t have abs but I am strong and capable and that makes me happy. I could drop 10KG’s and look a whole lot better but be smaller and weaker and that just doesn’t do it for me right now.
I think you need to spend some time really thinking about what you want both long term and short term and then start to plan how you get there. If smaller and weaker with Abs is not your thing, then what is. Maybe its time to think about some performance goals or anything else that gets you up in the morning.
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What are your goals?
Seems like you need to set some specific, very clear goals.
If your goal is a six pack, then you must diet.
If your goal is to look like a professional body builder, then you must commit to hours of training, eating, dieting and drugs.
If your goal is to maintain a health weight, strength, perform well in your sport and still enjoy life then you are already achieving your goal and THAT should motivate you to continue
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Do you want sympathy or do you want advice/accountability?
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I think this is a great point that many people forget.
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Absolutely.
People confuse the goals of those they see on social media or in sports for their own.
If your goal is to look like an athlete, realize that they look like that because of very specific goals and full time focus and execution
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Seems like a lot of lifestyle type gym-goers will look for the best routine for strength or bodybuilding despite never aspiring to compete in either sport, and end up running themselves into the ground trying to maximize everything to be or look a certain way. When comparing to the top percentile all that’s ever gonna lead to is disappointment - especially for natural folk.
I really think the most important thing for 90% is learning to love the process and everything else will fall into place. Chasing dreams you never really wanted because of most of the content out there trips up a lot of guys I feel. It still gets me occasionally.
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Tell me about it. I still want to look like Rich Gasapari 
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I wasn’t looking for sympathy, more looking to get my thoughts out on paper which helps me see more clearly and also get put back into place with you all. I find this community very helpful in terms of getting my head back in the right place and thinking correctly again.
Yeah i think i need to figure out what i actually want, i’m constantly in two or three minds about everything at the moment.
Thank you. Need to think about my goals.
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21st May 2024 Week 17 - Lower Body & Biceps
-
BB RDL
117kg x 8
105kg x 10
95kg x 12 -
Squats
92kg x 8
82kg x 10
72kg x 12 -
Pinwheel Curls
20kg DBs x 11
18kg DBs x 12
16kg DBs x 12 -
V ups
x 14 x 12 x 13 x 12 -
Cable curls
5 on weight rack
x 15 x 14 x 9 -
Ankle physio
3 sets of 15 reps
Done, off to eat 500g of minced beef as i’ve ran out of eggs.
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I do this too sometimes.
At the risk of giving unsolicited advice, a while back I believe we were talking about lacking moderation when hanging out with friends and drinking.
I only wanted to point out that this:
is not the mentality of someone who wants to change those habits.
If I’m out of line here, feel free to tell me to pound sand. I just want the best for you, and a sober (no pun intended) second opinion can be helpful for that.
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23rd May 2024 Week 17 - Upper Body
-
Slight incline DB Press
44kg DBs x 6
40kg DBs x 8
36kg DBs x 10 -
Chins - palms facing 25 seconds rest - 24 reps
x 4 x 4 x 4 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3
Managed this in 7 sets this week, progress coming slowly but still seeing progress. -
Weighted Dips
10kg x 8
7.5kg x 10
5kg x 11 + 1 (a little rest then one last rep) -
HS Seated Row
52kg Each side x 6
47kg Each side x 8
42kg Each side x 10 -
Lat Raises
14kg DBs x 8
12kg DBs x 10
10kg DBs x 12 -
Tricep Pushdowns
45kg
x 20
x 15
x 13
Good session overall. Forearms were in bits before this workout due to the Tuesday RDL and moving shed loads of furniture Wednesday.
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If i’m honest i’m not sure i want to change those habits. I’ve come to the conclusion that yes i can diet for a few months and stop drinking but i’m actually happier when i do drink and go for a blow out every now and again.
I know this will effect my lifting and definitely my lack of abs but i think life is too short to not do those things.
I don’t actually drink that often, but when i do i usually go hard.
I think i’m getting an idea of what my priorities are at the moment. Will come back with them at some point soon.
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How often do you actually drink?
For me it’s probably just 4-5x a year, but like you, I don’t do the casual 2 pints. It’s a blowout. I care more about the gym and plan to “take it easy” but as soon as I hit pint number 3 it’s all downhill from there. I enjoy it too much and often end up partying all night, ending up in a random persons kitchen talking rubbish until 6am. I don’t socialise much so I love it but not the cost physically.
I’ve got a funeral to go to on Saturday where I’ll see a bunch of people I’ve not seen for ages, but as much as I enjoy the drinking. I hate how it impacts my more long-term goals. The next week is usually a write-off or just about maintain in the gym.
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24th May 2024 Week 17 - Lower Body & Biceps
-
BB RDL
120kg x 7
107kg x 9
97kg x 8 -
Squats
100kg Just picked a weight a did sets of 5 today, just becuase
4 sets of 5 reps -
Rope Hammer Curls
11 weight x 12 reps
10 weight x 12 reps
9 weight x 12 reps -
Cable ab crunches
14 weight
x 20 x 20 x 16 x 15 -
DB Curls palms up
14kg DBs
x 12 x 11 x 10 -
Ankle physio
3 sets of 15 reps
Another great session, loving increasing the weights on RDLs, i want to be lifting 3 plates soon! Bank holiday weekend again this weekend, probably end up missing the gym on Monday as they have reduced opening hours and i’ll be with the family in the day.
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I think i actually end up having a big session once every 6 weeks or so. They just seem to come all at once with birthdays, end of season etc. etc. On a normal weekend i’ll probably have a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of weeks but some weekends i don’t even drink.
But those 1 in 6 weekends i drink a lot normally.
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Ah shit. I forgot it was bank holiday. I guess this means I smash an Upper session tomorrow morning and then get rat-arsed in the evening. I mean, I’ll have Sunday AND Monday to recover with the gym being closed anyway. v_v
Or I stay sensible, get in the gym tomorrow and Sunday morning and stick to the orginal plan.
We shall see…
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28th May 2024 Week 18 - Upper Body
-
BB Incline Press
80kg x 8
70kg x 10
60kg x 9 -
Chins 24 reps with 25 seconds rest
x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3 -
Viking Shoulder Press
20kg added weight, no idea what the actual weight with no plates on is. I’ve emailed the machine manufacteruer to ask.
20kg x 6 x 8 x 8 -
Seated cable Row
91kg x 7
82kg x 9
70kg x 11 -
Cable fly (pec dec machine was out of order)
5 on weight rack each side
x 15
x 15 -
Tricep oh cable extensions with handles
5 weight each side x 20
6 weight each side x 13
We had a bank holiday here in the UK so missed Mondays workout as spend time with the family and couldn’t’ go in the morning as the gym didn’t open early enough.
I didn’t feel recovered at all before this mornings session even with an extra day off. Triceps feel very fatigued already.
Still in a rut, think i’m coming round to the idea i need to lean up but i actually have bigger arms than i used to and i feel good in a t-shirt so don’t want to ruin that. I think i’ve got so much going on outside the gym that its affecting my thinking and normal motivation/ planning.
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