We actually really enjoyed Christmas. We cancelled all of our plans since I was contagious and spent the holiday together, just the four of us. I think everyone liked having nowhere to go. I would have preferred to not be sick, but beggars can’t be choosers. I hope your Christmas was filled with joy, love and laughter.
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Thanks Christmas was good, got to boxing day night it seems I got actual flu, shivering shaking, hot cold, vomitting, insanely sore throat and chesty cough (nasty combo because of how much it hurts to cough). Stayed in bed all of yesterday, managed 1 meal, hopefully broke the worst of it had two meals already today.
This is becoming some sort of awful tradition for me.
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You and me both. COVID this year (finally starting to feel like a human again), last year recovering from surgery, the year before COVID. And now that I’m feeling better, my husband has COVID. Lol. Merry Christmas to all. 
I hope you feel better soon. 
Those are healing thoughts hearts. Straight from me to you.
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Sending you a big healing hug and lots of get well prayers!! Feel better soon!
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Get better!
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Thanks @QuadQueen and @Friedrich my chest and lungs feel like they’ve been hammered by 40 fags a day for the last 40 years currently, had a dream I was having a heart attack and woke at 4am with chest pain, probably not actually dying but took the opportunity to tell my family all the important things I’d want to tell them if I did suddenly disappear off this mortal coil. Got to be some benefits to being awake from 4am but feeling a little bit like death warmed up (well roasted actually).
Realised I’d missed your reply - this is an unusual space to be, but I don’t dislike it! It’s commendable that you’ve formed your views on actually looking into things rather than an a priori commitment to atheism.
I think of Christian’s were much more faithful to the words they say they believe (and I hold myself up for this same criticism) it would be hard to hold a negative view of Christianity in the first instance.
Unfortunately it feels like the church got known more for what it was against than what it was for and whilst we should stand against certain things (injustice, dehumanising of others, violence, genocide etc) it should be far more evident that we stand for peace, love, unity, justice, joy, hope (the list goes on!).
Indeed - because it forms people’s identity, something that makes them call into question their deepest held beliefs is an afront to them. Whilst my identity is found in Christ, I recognise that I do not fully understand anything, and therefore there will always be questions I can’t answer or things I don’t comprehend, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be asked! At the end of the day if the Christian faith is real, it should be able to withstand and genuine questioning.
Good to have your unique perspective in here!
Haha I’m working on it! Seems like it’s comparatively my strongest lift.
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Yes! This is the only way to approach many things in the world if someone is trying to be honest to himself/herself.
And this could be extended to any worldview one has.
I agree. Many who claim to be Christians or claim to represent such values are not following the basic principles at all.
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I so agree. I see myself (@SepCalla’s “label”) as vaguely Judaeo-Christian, though I definitely believe in God, as the natural world is too exquisitely functional to have happened as an accident, in my opinion. Every single thing behaves logically and in rhythm with the rest of the system, with the single exception of human beings. The beauty of it all is awe-inspiring, and that brings me to God. But an involved god doesn’t necessarily make sense to me. I leave room for it and hope for it and do my best to be worthy of it, but I’m just not sure. Which is okay. I don’t feel tortured in the least by that.
I know several genuine Christians (who live its tenets) and they are maybe the best people ever. I would love to have their certainty, but I unfortunately wasn’t raised for that.
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Even though you weren’t raised for the certainty, it’s still there for you to grasp!!
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This is one of the things that is maddening to me - we lack the intelligence to understand this universe with any certainty. Anyone that believes otherwise is guilty of hubris - in my opinion.
But, I recognize that this could be my shadow talking - seeing others at peace in their certainty makes me feel like I am somehow less. I know this isn’t the case, but recognize my shortcomings.
I have settled in a good place recently and want others to benefit from my experiences. I fail to recognize, on occasion, that my path is not the only path. But, for some reason, I read certainty in others as superior righteousness - my own flaw, admittedly.
Trying to be better.
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As a believer I can’t say that there aren’t times that I doubt, I wish this wasn’t the case but it’s human nature and I give it to God, redirect my thoughts, and pray for the Holy Spirit to give me more faith, strength and wisdom. I also question my salvation often and feel unworthy of it. In truth though, we are all unworthy and that’s why we needed Jesus. By no means do I think less of those who don’t have certainty or belief, but I do pray that they find Jesus and it. If it is in my power to plant a seed, I’m going to do it. It’s a matter of life (eternal) and death. I’m willing to lose friends, status and my life if it means that when all is said and done, I get to spend eternity in heaven with Jesus.
My life has not been an easy road. I’ve struggled with an eating disorder since I was 11 and this has resulted in a lot of rejection, isolation and so many mental, emotional and physical battles. I know that I’ve fought none of these battles alone and can see the hands of Jesus all over, when I look back. He’s put the right people in the right places exactly when I needed them. When I’ve been at my lowest, He always moves or does something that has saved me. One example was during the COVID season 2-week lock-down. I live alone and my parents told me that I couldn’t come and quarantine with them. I remember how much that hurt and one Sunday afternoon, I was putting clothes away and just laid down in my closet and debated if I should just lay there and give up… In the midst of tears and hopelessness, my doorbell rings. I was like, what the hell?, I am so not going down there… And then it rings again… and again… So, I drag myself up off the floor and downstairs to see what’s happening. I opened the door and my next door neighbors had left me a care package (a box of protein bars and some other heathy snacks). This was, no question, a God-wink. There have been so many of these little things along my journey and they have all changed my trajectory.
I am not superior or righteous in my belief in the least bit, in fact, I am so very weak. My strength comes from Him alone. I should not still be alive and I thank God for every single day that I am. My struggles and experiences are my testimony. Every time I’ve hit rock bottom, I’ve found God and He’s never left me. I’m at a point in my life where I know I don’t want to move without Him or be anywhere He’s not. He has ALWAYS shown up - very unlike the other people in my life. He has ALWAYS brought me back and because of that, I’ve been able to help a lot of people who also struggle with food/exercise. He truly does use all things for the good of His Kingdom.
Do not count out a level of certainty for yourself. I would encourage you to research and read His word. You might be surprised at the peace it brings you. I pray that you find Jesus and that someday I can give you a BIG hug in Heaven.
So sorry to highjack your log @alex_uk, but I can’t not advocate for Jesus and His salvation even if it makes me super annoying and unpopular… Welcome to my life. lol
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I see u cracked 3 plates a week or 2 before I did. That 15 of 100 is 1 more rep than my pb but u did it AFTER 3 plates. At the risk of sounding lazy and having to scroll for info that may not even be there,how long u been benching? Nosey eh. Before I humble myself completely into the dirt,I did win National titles in powerlifting with a bigger squat and deadlift at your size and age?hence my curiosity. But you’re good
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Apology not accepted, it wasn’t needed in the first place, I welcome it! I would write more but still losing the fight to influenza and curled up in bed, just wanted a quick message to say the above - Romans 1:16
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@QuadQueen I enjoyed your post, thanks for sharing. 
Was wondering how you were doing, @alex_uk. Praying for a quick recovery.
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Hopefully your feeling better soon
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Thank you for writing this. Not sure where it lands for me, but I do pay very close attention when good people talk about good things.
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Thank you for that. I will be praying like crazy for a fast recovery for you! Feel better soon!
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If you ever want to talk - I’m always here and you have my number!
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You have very good neighbors.
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Seems to be going through quite the period of affliction. Sure it’s not from the realm. You’ve quoted the Apostle Paul so I’m assuming you agree with his assertion in Ephesians that our biggest enemies are invisible. Got any occult practicing human enemies. Could be witchcraft bro
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