I admire your faith and you remind me how I’m supposed to walk when I read your posts.
Sorry about your MIL, but we know death only applies to the body.
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201.75 morning weight.
Thank you for all the messages of condolence,
Really appreciate that, I know I probably do a better job in talking about it online than I do in walking it out on the daily
It’s been a little extra crazy, on the night my MIL died, my 94 year old grandmother had a fall with a very significant head injury.
I happened to drive past as there were two ambulances parked outside, ended up cleaning up what looked like a crime scene, then went and sat with her in hospital until 2am.
She broke her nose, and 2 vertebrae in her neck, they initially said she was end of life (couldn’t swallow, was combative ripping out IV so they couldn’t treat her or get fluids in our antibiotics), my parents flew back from Athens a holiday they’d been on for 2 out of 7 days, but the insanely tough woman seems to be recovering!
Funny old world.
Kitchen is mostly in I need to do the flooring and we’re waiting on some electrical works and finishing, but important things like the dishwasher and the new boiling water tap are in so I can have coffee even more rapidly and not wash dishes, I’m happy.
Not trained, intended to today but still feeling pretty exhausted so I didn’t, maybe tomorrow.
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Can’t ‘like’ that one, but feel compelled to acknowledge it nonetheless—you’ve got my thoughts and prayers heading your way once again.
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Thanks @SvenG appreciate it.
01/07/25
Hostage negotiation (stolen phrase from @T3hPwnisher)
High handle TBDL: 68, 108, 148, 188kg x 5
Bench: 60, 80, 90, 100, 110kg x 5
That was the negotiation finished, just get in and do something, zero motivation, zero drive, no idea what to do, just knew that the longer I leave it the harder it will be. My only thought was going in was to start with bench but there were plates in the way, and the deadlift bar was nearby, seemed like a good way to gather plates, so that then bench.
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@QuadQueen random nutrition question (apologies if I’ve already asked this one!)
Currently eating my PWO meal, went for fine ground oats, greek yogurt, whey and blueberries, with a teaspoon of cinnamon (all mixed into a brown slushy gloop but it tastes good). Now the question (very much majoring in the minors but just intellectual curiosity for me) cinnamon and it’s blood sugar regulating impact is good, but is it counter productive in the PWO window by dulling the insulin response, or is it actually more effective by assisting the nutrients where they’re supposed to go?
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Definitely majoring in the minors, but a good question nonetheless! Cinnamon’s impact on blood sugar isn’t staggering (it’s not nothing, but it’s not gonna cure Diabetes either), and if you enjoy the taste of it in your PWO “pudding” - then keep it in there. It’s not going to make a major difference in your insulin response - not enough to effect recovery and/or your gains.
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To be fair, very little of my nutritional majoring in the minors changes what I actually do, for instance that meal was followed about an hour after by a pie and donut, insulin management wasn’t really on my mind then.
Another example - I know coffee pwo is supposed to raise cortisol and slow the CNS returning to baseline and slow recovery (or something along those lines) I still drink it pwo.
It’s genuinely just curiousity.
02/07/25
Hostage negotiation day 2
A1) DB row: 25kg x 8 x 5 sets
A2) Seated OHP: 40, 50, 60, 70, 80kg x 5
Log press: 50, 60kg x 5 strict, 70kg x 4.5, 50kg x 12
B1) single arm landmine OHP: 20, 30, 40, 50, 60kg x 5
B2) BB row: 60, 80kg x 5 x 4 sets
Shoulders are smoked, pretty decent session, wasn’t as adversed to it today, discipline is a virtuous circle, must keep building it back.
This month I will turn 39, which means it’s the last month (edit: year) of my 30’s. I have some thoughts about how I want to come into my 40’s, I’m undecided about whether to put pen to paper (or pixels to screen). I’ve had to walk back my original plans, and don’t want to put anything else down that I might not achieve.
On the other hand, if I don’t articulate my goals I have no word to hold myself to.
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I’m not sure how the math works on this…
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Nice pressing!
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Oops last year, not month!
Thanks Shane, (I’m secretly chasing the geriatric records of @Cyrrex)
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This makes SO much more sense.
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That 80 for 5 looks pretty solid, so I think you should be able to do 90 for a single. Also, I am glad to see your pressing angle is about the same as I am using, so I don’t feel like a dirty cheat.
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so it’s an incline bench press then 
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Dammit Simo! Why are you like this?
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Alright I did something.
10/07/25 - evening.
Filthy four:
- 20m/65ft up and back (40m/130ft) sandbag carry - 90kg
- 20m up, drop, turn, up, 20m back farmers - 50kg per hand
- battle ropes
- sled high up low back, 40kg of plates
4 times through, no rest between stations, break between each round that was around 60-90 seconds.
There were 4 of us on drill night who were up for doing something, I took the 75kg bag along for everyone else, just me on the 90kg but none of these guys regularly strength train so impressed with their efforts. Pace was dictated by the person on the farmers handles, everyone went until that person had done theirs then swapped station. Good work, nice to have 3 people to train alongside.
Thoughts on training and the future to follow.
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Thoughts on the next phase.
Let’s start with the present, since the passing of my MIL I’ve been acting out of line with some of my values:
I am taking the easy way out in regards to eating and training and this means I’m also taking actions which don’t align with being a health conscious person.
There are excuses, even valid ones, but they don’t change the outcome: behaviour that isn’t who I am or want to become.
As mentioned previously my birthday is this month and I’ll have 1 more year left in my 30s. I want to enter my 40s physically better than ever, stronger, leaner, and better conditioned than I’ve ever been.
I had 6 months planned out post cruise, but the nagging injuries have put stop to that. I need to employ training patterns and principles rather than programs at least for the present - this will help me to prevent getting fixated on “I must do this movement and this weight for this many reps in order to comply”. I need the freedom to switch movements when things feel out of sorts or fatigued.
What are the goals then? Well some remain unchanged and close:
Strength
Squat - 180kg (190kg life time pr)
Bench - 140kg (135kg life time pr)
Dead: 220kg
OHP: 100kg
5/4/3/2 plates.
Now those top two are fairly straightforward to achieve within the year, the other two aren’t, my life time conventional dead is still 180kg, my ohp 77.5kg, so I’m going to have some wiggle but still get to yes. Essentially I’m going to have 2 goals, realistic and stretch goals, so the goal is still 220kg on the deads, but high handle trap bar is the minimum standard, conventional the stretch. For OHP it will be 100kg seated minimum, and I’d love to see 100kg standing before 40, but I’m not confident in it.
Conditioning
I’ve got no desire to turn in to a cardio machine, my thoughts around cardio are just to be good and consistent, but not aiming for elite, I think a sub 20 min 5km is on the higher end of good but should achieve exactly what I’m aiming for, the minimum is to achieve that on a treadmill, the stretch is too achieve that on a park run.
Lean:
I got lean for my cruise, but still wasn’t exactly where I wanted to land, I really want to hit 40 looking properly shredded. I learned a lot from my low, slow cut and my previous run of my version of velocity. I think I’ll be able to hit this with a 3 stage cut - a strict 6 weeks of measuring and tracking a 6 week easing off back to maintenance just to give me a diet break, then a final 6 week push to sexyville.
Now the lean and conditioned are reasonably symbiotic, the strong is absolutely not. Since I’m most keen to hit the strength numbers that’s going to be my first port of call, particularly focusing on hitting the easier versions of deadlift and ohp.
The general plan will be to get the diet back on track with good food choice, back to cutting out all sugar, making sure protein is high and carb sources are healthy.
I’ll be looking at this whole thing in 6-12 week blocks, so my first 6 week block will be focused on re-acclimatsing myself up lifting building healthy eating patterns.
Once that’s nailed down I’ll reassess but I’ll probably look to start introducing some running and maybe increase the cals a bit.
The method is loose at the moment and I’m open to changing it as I go. The goals are concrete - I’ve been floating in a sea of listless self pity and excuses, so the concrete goals will help. I will get to yes, I will achieve, God willing.
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Its hard to recognize when this happens.
My immediate go-to is that once I recognize the problem, I cannot stop seeing it until I find the solution. The only way to find the solution, at least for me, is to understand the “why” first.
Why did I resort to this behavior?
What did I think the result would be?
Was the expected result accurate to the actual result?
What is the maximum agency I could have applied to this situation?
What should I have done differently, knowing what I know now?
Thats just me, though.
I hope you work all this out and get back to the path of becoming who you want need to be. I’m happy to be a sounding board if you want - whether on here or privately.
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Hot damn I’ve missed a lot in this past month.
Alrighty
- congratulations on keeping your head when it counted. Not sure if that’s a first for you given the position, but if so, then I’ll say that first time making those kind of calls really will stick with you for life, and I’m glad your first memory of it has a positive outcome
- My sincere condolences for your loss. I can’t pretend to know what that feels like, but nonetheless I’m sorry you’ve reached that time where you experience it.
- bravo on the kitchen. I agree with numerous above posters when I say I’m way to much of a chicken to commit that much to a renovation.
- I low key hate you for stuffing down food and then making these posts about weight going down. If I slammed 15 donuts, I’d be diabetic tomorrow lol.
- Your thought process balancing work, family, the house, gym, god, and all the rest of life, says nothing but good things about you as a man. I say this with complete sincerity, I respect it
You know for me, the 5,4 are down. The 2 is within spitting range and prolly doable in a few months with a press focus. But that 3? That 3 is a real mofo lol
Edit: stylistically I probably should have switched the position of my last two comments for dramatic effect, but it’s too late now so just add in the resonant ending as appropriate
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Good questions
Why - default setting during stress, seek comfort, seek ease, seek dopamine. Which meant no training, and mainlining sugar.
I knew what the results would be, I just didn’t particularly care, and still struggling to get to the point of caring.
Honestly not sure I’d have done differently, of course I’d want to do differently but feeling how I do, I doubt I would.
Always appreciate the input!
A first in terms of being in charge of an incident that carried life or death decisions (you make those personally as a firefighter, but when you’re directing other people to do so, that’s when it’s a different thing).
Same otherwise it could well have been my last memory of it.
Thanks for the condolences, and the kitchen and donuts comments.
Very much appreciate it.
Haha life is funny that’s most definitely the closest and easiest for me, like I’ve not put any sort of special training in place it’s just happened. Where as deadlifts well progress just seems to completely evade me!
11/07/25
Got called into the station on standby, so took advantage:
Bench: 60, 80, 90, 100, 110kg x 5
Smith squat heals elevated: 60kg x 5, 110kg x 3
My back got real uncomfortable at this point so called it, feels pretty blooming tight, but hopefully nothing too bad, I’ve got a floor to lay tonight!
Edit, I very rarely use a smith machine, and when I do it feels awful, that was my last attempt on a smith machine that thing can do one.
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