Advice on Wife Texting Her Boss

[quote]pat wrote:

Where in GA are you?[/quote]

I’m in Calhoun. What part of Georgia are you in?

[quote]pat wrote:

Do you know if other dude is married? A call to his wife may be prudent. If you have that resource. Hell, give me his name and general local, and I could find out more about him than you ever wanted to know.

His name is Jay Anderson and he lives in Gray GA. Works for Southern Company as a Safety Engineer. He said he is divorced, but who kmows.

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

Do you know if other dude is married? A call to his wife may be prudent. If you have that resource. Hell, give me his name and general local, and I could find out more about him than you ever wanted to know. [/quote]

His name is Jay Anderson and he lives in Gray GA. Works for Southern Company as a Safety Engineer. He said he is divorced, but who kmows.[/quote]

WHOA.

shit just got real.

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

Do you know if other dude is married? A call to his wife may be prudent. If you have that resource. Hell, give me his name and general local, and I could find out more about him than you ever wanted to know. [/quote]

His name is Jay Anderson and he lives in Gray GA. Works for Southern Company as a Safety Engineer. He said he is divorced, but who kmows.[/quote]

WHOA.

shit just got real.[/quote]

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:
You know what would have been a loving gesture? Handing over the damn phone to her husband and proving right then and there he had nothing to worry about.
[/quote]

I am usually 100% in agreement with you Flip, but not in this case. I see this whole situation as one big trust issue. Let’s look at this from another perspective. I text my boss after hours about work, for example. My wife finds out and demands I prove it’s about work. Don’t I have the right to be pissed that she doesn’t trust me?

I’m not saying OP is in the wrong and I’m not saying OPs woman is Mrs. Clean, but as usual we are only getting one side of the story. Has OPs wife given other signs (I’m not sure how I feel about the shift change)? Has she cheated in the past? Is the OP a trusting person?

I don’t know about this either, I think it depends on the subject matter. What if she is texting a co-worker about taking one of her shifts? Again, if they trust each other this shouldn’t be an issue.

Maybe the thought never crossed her mind? Maybe her way of proving she’s faithful is completely changing her lifestyle for the OP?

Oh man. Broken down quotes are so much work, lol. But I can address each point.

  1. A big part of the problem here is that the OP has told us that A) the texting was frequent, B) it was often not work-related, and C) the OP was unaware of the interaction for a significant period of time. If I discovered my wife was texting someone involved with her work, boss or co-worker, and I knew it wasn’t work-related, this would be a problem. If there were women at my work, it would go both ways (all employees at my shop are male). Let’s say I had a female secretary, my wife didn’t really know her, I was texting her frequently about personal stuff, and my wife found out. Obviously most would consider this a problem, regardless of history. Why should the same standards not be held to a nurse and her boss?

  2. This wasn’t what happened. OP said the wife admitted this was not the case. I don’t deal in ‘what ifs’.

  3. Maybe. Unlikely though. It’s been over a week. She’s had time to think about a lot of things. I’m confident this solution crossed her mind.

  4. I wasn’t clear here, and you’re right. If I forget to mow the yard, fix the sink, clean the dishes, forget her birthday, get mad without good cause/ get in an unreasonable fight with the wife, etc. then apologies are in order. Infidelity is an issue that doesn’t get solved by apologies in my book. I know not everyone agrees with this. I didn’t vow to be perfect, but I did vow to be faithful in mind and body.

A lot of what I’m talking about here comes from good research available on why marriages fail, why individuals stray from their spouses, etc. What the wife did here is almost universally considered a major problem in most marriage psyc books I’ve read. It tends to indicate a strong potential for infidelity. How the OP deals with this is up to him, and it sounds like, based on some things he’s said, that if there was even interest between his wife and boss, that he would prefer that the relationship end.[/quote]

Ya, I’m not saying they (she) doesn’t have issues. I guess I would be willing to give my wife the benefit of the doubt, but then again we truth each other. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be pissed off about either, but I also have a hard to imagining her text some guy I’d never met over personal stuff.

Now if I did give my wife the benefit of the doubt and a month later I saw a bill for the Ramada in town, ya there’d be some kickin out goin on.

Again though, I think what the OP (all OPs) say has to be taken with a grain of salt. What is a lot of texts? 2, 10, 100, 500? I realize my example isn’t what happened, but he hasn’t seen the text, they might be pretty innocent. My wife was texting a male co-worker a few weeks ago about picking up his spare mattress, which we did.

I figured that’s what you mean’t about apologizes just bustin your balls really.

It’ll be hilarious if Jay Anderson decides to google his name today…

Maybe she likes the beard Raven? He does kind of look like a tool to me. You could probably take him but you will have to watch out for his three German Shepards, 2 male 1 female.

[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Maybe she likes the beard Raven? He does kind of look like a tool to me. You could probably take him but you will have to watch out for his three German Shepards, 2 male 1 female.[/quote]
Is this what the NSA feels like all day?

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
Or it could be you are WAY over reacting… If marrige means no texting or talking to people of the opposite sex then poof you will always be having drama. I never let my wife mess with my phone FB or other comunication devices & in return I dont play FBI with her shit. I have a buddy hows wife is always doing that shit to him F that, I’d leave her where she stands. Unless you catch her with some dick pics maybe you should chill before you scare a nice woman away by being a controlling douche… If you lay the pipe and pay the bills you shouldnt have shit to worry about any how[/quote]

…leave it to a liberal

surprised no one addressed this joke of a post yikes![/quote]

Y is it a joke if you dont trust your woman or cant trust women you shouldnt be in a relationship… No woman wants some asshole checking her shit 24/7 just like you dont either… And for those that dont like what I said about cheating… eat dick… At some point in a marrige people cheat both men and women satistacally speaking the ratio is high. Im not saying its right Im just being real that shit happens. So you can pretend its never happend or you would never do it but your just kidding yourself…

Looks like Jay’s extremely passionate about his 3 German Shepherds. Be a shame if something were to happen to them.

Georgia’s not that far away; let me know if you need me to go Godfather on them. I’m great at fighting dogs hypothetically.

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
Or it could be you are WAY over reacting… If marrige means no texting or talking to people of the opposite sex then poof you will always be having drama. I never let my wife mess with my phone FB or other comunication devices & in return I dont play FBI with her shit. I have a buddy hows wife is always doing that shit to him F that, I’d leave her where she stands. Unless you catch her with some dick pics maybe you should chill before you scare a nice woman away by being a controlling douche… If you lay the pipe and pay the bills you shouldnt have shit to worry about any how[/quote]

…leave it to a liberal

surprised no one addressed this joke of a post yikes![/quote]

Y is it a joke if you dont trust your woman or cant trust women you shouldnt be in a relationship… No woman wants some asshole checking her shit 24/7 just like you dont either… And for those that dont like what I said about cheating… eat dick… At some point in a marrige people cheat both men and women so you can pretend its never happend or you would never do it but your just kidding yourself…
[/quote]

Good God you’re bitter.

Seriously? In 100% of marriages one or both people cheat, get the fuck out of here with that nonsense.

And no thanks on the dick, I’m good.

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
It’ll be hilarious if Jay Anderson decides to google his name today…[/quote]

You mean like what half of T Nation is doing right now?

His linkedin page is gonna get like 1000 new hits today.

[quote]csulli wrote:
Looks like Jay’s extremely passionate about his 3 German Shepherds. Be a shame if something were to happen to them.

Georgia’s not that far away; let me know if you need me to go Godfather on them. I’m great at fighting dogs hypothetically.[/quote]

Well csulli unlike the prior thread I 100% think you can take three German Shepherds!

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
At some point in a marrige people cheat both men and women so you can pretend its never happend or you would never do it but your just kidding yourself…
[/quote]
Are you married? Sounds like someone’s trying to cope with something.

This is you btw:

“Yeah you should cheat on your company drug test just for the sake of cheating on it; even if you could pass it anyways. Cheat on your wife too while you’re at it.” -thehebrewhero championing the cause of Judaism since 2011.

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
It’ll be hilarious if Jay Anderson decides to google his name today…[/quote]

You mean like what half of T Nation is doing right now?

His linkedin page is gonna get like 1000 new hits today.[/quote]
lol

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
It’ll be hilarious if Jay Anderson decides to google his name today…[/quote]

You mean like what half of T Nation is doing right now?

His linkedin page is gonna get like 1000 new hits today.[/quote]

Oh snap, I didn’t think of LinkedIn, be right back…

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
At some point in a marrige people cheat both men and women so you can pretend its never happend or you would never do it but your just kidding yourself…
[/quote]
Are you married? Sounds like someone’s trying to cope with something.

This is you btw:

“Yeah you should cheat on your company drug test just for the sake of cheating on it; even if you could pass it anyways. Cheat on your wife too while you’re at it.” -thehebrewhero championing the cause of Judaism since 2011.[/quote]

X2