In my experience with cheaters, even if nothing was going on she was hiding it from you for a reason. The reason there being that she thought or perhaps hoped it might escalate. When a person lies to you about doing things with the opposite sex even if they aren’t having sex with that person, sooner or later they will. You did the right thing kicking her out.
[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.
She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
On the 1% chance she was not fucking him, she is now.
Move on, ASAP. It’s over. Be nice, police, but file for divorce tomorrow.
[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.
She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
Oh, and have your lawyer send a letter to the phone company to preserve the text and send a subpoena.
I have a lot of female employees. My number 2 is a woman. The only conversations we have outside of office hours are strictly work or industry related and sparse. You are in the right here. Another red flag would be if you can think back in tme and remember her mentioning or referencing him when talking to you, even casually, when it wasnt brought up by you.
You need to have ALL the facts before you draw a line under this i.e. ending your marriage with a woman you obviously love.
You need to sit down and discuss what the fuck has actually gone on and stop having conversations with yourself and convincing yourself of something you are not actually sure about.
Are you a jealous person, how did your last marriage end? I am only asking because if you are a jealous, paranoid person you may have blown this shit way up. You may have forced her to be secretive about her relationships (in this case a male work colleague) because she is afraid of the reaction you might have? She may feel isolated and alone… This fucker at her work may have sensed her insecurities and prayed on them. He may have seen an opportunity to take advantage and she probably fell for it, who knows? My point is you need to have a serious discussion! If it all goes pear shaped then at least find out why? Then kick her out but not before getting closure on this because you’ll be forever going around with questions in your head…
[quote]SLAINGE wrote:
This fucker at her work may have sensed her insecurities and prayed on them.
[/quote]
Probably the opposite of what he was doing, but…
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]SLAINGE wrote:
This fucker at her work may have sensed her insecurities and prayed on them.
[/quote]
Probably the opposite of what he was doing, but…[/quote]
Sorry I dont follow? Are you suggesting she may have been chasing him? Either way we dont have a clue.
Anyway, there is one thing for sure, I wouldnt be ending my marriage over this UNLESS I had the full story. I would need to see these texts. Some things deserve the time to sort out properly. Raven did admit getting paralytic drunk and losing the head so me thinks he may have jumped the boat on this one. I never make decisions pissed esp. ones from the heart because they usually turn out to be a complete pile of bollox
I hope things turn out for the best R, good luck!
[quote]SLAINGE wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]SLAINGE wrote:
This fucker at her work may have sensed her insecurities and prayed on them.
[/quote]
Probably the opposite of what he was doing, but…[/quote]
Sorry I dont follow? Are you suggesting she may have been chasing him? Either way we dont have a clue.
Anyway, there is one thing for sure, I wouldnt be ending my marriage over this UNLESS I had the full story. I would need to see these texts. Some things deserve the time to sort out properly. Raven did admit getting paralytic drunk and losing the head so me thinks he may have jumped the boat on this one. I never make decisions pissed esp. ones from the heart because they usually turn out to be a complete pile of bollox
I hope things turn out for the best R, good luck![/quote]
Twas a pun!
You meant preying as in, birds of prey.
What I find highly unlikely is that her Boss heard of her marriage troubles and prayed for them to end.
Highly, highly, well, highly…
Made the same mistake, dammit…
You made the right call. Don’t put up with any bullshit. She knows what she’s doing isn’t right, even if she won’t admit it.
Maybe sex is involved, maybe it isn’t, but she’s clearly having an “emotional affair”, meaning she’s checked out of your relationship. Don’t beat yourself up over it, she’s the one who didn’t have the balls to talk through whatever problems she had with you, nor the balls to end it with you when she realized she’s no longer interested.
That’s not to say she’s definitely uninterested in fixing your marriage – that’s a question only she can answer. If she does want to work things out, make it clear that it’s on your terms or it isn’t happening.
Lanky is right. She needs to find a new job.
I should also mention that I’ve been through this same thing (we weren’t married, though).
Yeah, well, nurses are sluts.
I learned that in the 80s, with the use of VHS tapes.
Damn, those got grainy.
Have you considered GPS tracking her car?
[quote]pushharder wrote:
And the comments about nurses are dead on.[/quote]
So…
What I learned is that I should have asked the redhead nurse out on a date.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
ooooook. having been in EMS, going into nursing and being in the field still with Lifeflight communications and watching everyone cheat on their spouses, or hook up, get divorced, etc…I can’t assume anything (as I don’t know her) but texting is the gateway drug. I text a lot of the guys I work with but I’m also one of the guys, and I am friends with their wives too. No need to text the boss after hours unless it is work-pertinent and impacts her in some way going in to her next shift. If you’re married, I think it’s ok to have friends of the opposite sex if you include your spouse in the friendship. when you’re married, you’re a package. [/quote]
This.
Plus the medical field and NURSES are the worse, in regards to fucking around and divorce.
Just saying.[/quote]
Huh!? Please clarify this with more words. Temptation field? Why? what? My girlfriend is studying to become a nurse, now I got worried :S