Advice About Ex....This Is Different

Off Topic
41

So tell her and never speak to her again. Jump on that grenade for the girl that broke up with you to date a piece of shit. Or…reach into your pants and see if there are nuts present. If so, realize this mindset is what made you into the ex. Learn and grow or continue to be a lamb.

Anyway, your mind is made up. You are just waiting for the one idiot to agree with you so you can go white knight her. It won’t work besides breaking her heart and her hating your guts. Do yourself a favor and don’t be that guy.

42

if you tell her, she will blame you for it, and stay with her cheating boyfriend.

43

I love you TNation. OP, clearly you are ignoring consensus advice and waiting for someone to validate your tomfoolery, despite common sense.

Do what you have to do and please post results.

grabs popcorn

44
45

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
Orion isn’t always right. But he is this time. Its not your problem and its not your business. Move on.

If you feel the need to help someone, go give some unsolicited squatting/depth advice the 1/4 squatters at your gym. [/quote]

Orion isn’t always right, but when he is, he’s only sort of right but this time he’s actually right. Stay thirsty.
[/quote]

Orion

“50 Shades of Right”

46

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
This sounds like a great educational opportunity. Go tell her and report back how it works out for you. [/quote]

i like his option best. Much more interesting than doing the sensible thing.

You should phone her and tell her RIGHT NOW

47

I’m trying to parse this business of the ex having NO IDEA and NO WAY OF KNOWING what’s on her boyfriend’s FB page.

OP, can you explain this?

48

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m trying to parse this business of the ex having NO IDEA and NO WAY OF KNOWING what’s on her boyfriend’s FB page.

OP, can you explain this? [/quote]

+1

We young, naive and in love males tend to talk ourselves into being the white knight just because we want to be.

Truth is, OP, she knows. Somehow. I assure you that knowledge that public hasn’t just slipped past her. She’s just choosing to ignore it, for whatever reason. And, from my limited worldly experience, this seems to be common when you’re the “other woman” - you talk yourself into believing this nonsense from a married man that he really loves YOU and not HER and he doesn’t even sleep in his with his wife and they’re just business partners and they’re staying together for the kids.

And then his wife gets pregnant again.

49

Just close your eyes to what is going on… and move on. The shit is beyond your control and your ex is capable of running her own life, whether or not you like the direction its headed for. Unfortunately FB makes it easy to see what everyone else is doing which adds to the hurt.

When me and my ex split many moons ago, she took up with an older guy who was a far worse drunk that I ever was. She eventually got out of that and is on marriage #3 or 4. Our situation was not the same as yours however, I never looked back to her for one second.

50

Consensus reached for the 2nd time in as many months? I must be dreaming.

51

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
She left you and now she is with an asswipe she likes much better than she likes you, this is why she is boning him.

Given that, why would you care about any of this?

Go bone someone else who wants to bone you. [/quote]

Well I’m taking care of that, thank you for your concern.
And you’re right, she doesn’t want to be with me. However, that still does not negate what is actually happening. She’s a person that doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. .
[/quote]

Some people have to touch fire in order to know that it burns.

Just move along.

52

Your ex is content and happy being a home wrecking whore. She is not getting cheated on, her bf’s wife is, and she knows. That’s why she told you to butt out. She doesn’t want you to keep nosing around and screw up her meal ticket that she is spreading her legs for right now. So just butt out and consider that one a bullet dodged.

53

She is not your problem anymore, and you’ve clearly spent far too much time and energy on this. Pull the fucking band-aid off already and stop all contact with her immediately.

54

[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Your ex is content and happy being a home wrecking whore. She is not getting cheated on, her bf’s wife is, and she knows. That’s why she told you to butt out. She doesn’t want you to keep nosing around and screw up her meal ticket that she is spreading her legs for right now. So just butt out and consider that one a bullet dodged. [/quote]

This^
One of the few smart decisions I’ve made around relationships was to make a clean solid break. Over is over, so over on. She is technically an adult and can take care of herself. If she can’t, that’s all the more reason to move on. I know this is harder because everyone is on display through social media so you’ll inevitably be reminded and tempted to look and act, but don’t. Man up and move on.

Two side benefits form this. First, you have a chance of keeping some dignity. Second, breaking off contact drives attention whores crazy. You’ll be the one that got away, the good one, the classy one, etc., that has gotten me laid more than once. Women have no respect for begging, even in the guise of “White Knights.”

55

Don’t worry about it. She moved on and she is your ex. There is no cause for you to get involved, so I opt with the “do nothing” and stop fretting about it approach.

56

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
My ex and I ended our lengthy relationship about 1 yr and 3months ago. We were still back and forth for a while but this summer it seemed the nail was in the coffin when she started dating someone else.

I care very deeply for her, and her for me…it just didn’t work out. Chalk it up to timing, shitty single girlfriend’s (and their shitty single advice, and one hell of a cancerous life sucking thundercunt mother.

But that’s not why I’m here so I digress…

She’s been dating another guy for about 9 months now. This POS is 20 yrs her senior, has a kid, and an ex that he owns a company with. He told my GF that they had split for some time now and that they were strictly business partners, and that he was “stuck” because she was also the Mother of his kid.

When I started finding this information out about this guy I presented my concerns with my ex. But was quickly accused of trying to break up her relationship, bad mouth him, and one accusation even went as far to say I was doing this to get back with her. (really gotta love crazy single women who give advice to other girls…HAHAH)

Because we live in an ever shrinking world, it turns out that this POS’s kid goes to school with one of my best friend’s kids. AND my bf’s wife is fb friends with him and his ex.

So my buddy calls me the other day telling me that his wife wants to call my ex and tell her that she’s being cheated on.

Basically POS went away for Xmas and New Years with his ex and their kid, but without my ex(his gf of 9 months). He told my ex that it was a family/business trip and there wasn’t anything he could do about her going.

However, during and after the trip the POSs ex has been posting pics of him and her and their kid, as well as just him and her. One pic is them at 11pm at a restaurant, without the kid. Ofcourse each pic has a caption next to it…and lets just summarize them all as saying they range from “Cute family” to “cute couple” to “hearts and smiley faces and this weird smiley face with heart eyes”.

Another issue thrown into the ring here is that apparently, according to my buddy, these two still live together, or at the very least still own a house together that he occasionally still stays in.

At this point, I just don’t really know what to do. Do I tell my ex and break her heart? Do I not tell her, wait for her to find out on her own which break her heart? Or do I tell her…have this be some weird misunderstanding, and risk being that crazy exboyfriend who’s constantly trying to ruin her relationships…

Discuss you incredibly savvy, testosterone ladened men.
[/quote]

I just reread this and am now struck by the parts about how “timing, shitty single girlfriend’s (and their shitty single advice, and one hell of a cancerous life sucking thundercunt mother” are the underlying cause of the breakup between these two people who “care very deeply” about one another.

OP, if her girlfriends or mother had anything to do with your breakup, it was probably by supporting her in doing what she wanted to do.

I agree with the others that she is well aware that she’s seeing a married man and is comfortable with it (was going to say “dating,” but that’s for people who aren’t married).

So yes, she is one of the cheaters, not the cheated-upon.

57

[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Your ex is content and happy being a home wrecking whore. [/quote]

Seriously, who would want to be associated with her?

Pretty clear to me that the real issue is the OP is not over the ex and sees this complication as an opportunity to try to white knight it back into her vagina.

58

Do not tell her that. She will not see it as a kind gesture and will resent you for knowing. Accuse you of being too preoccupied with her life still. Leave it be. If she’s being cheated on then its only a matter of time beofre she finds out anyways. Better her to find out then here it coming from you. Thats the last thing she wants to hear from an ex. And you don’t want to get involved with that drama. If you care for her as you say you do, honor the fact she had parted ways and that she is invovled with someone else. She will respect you more for it. It shows maturity and self assurance.

Its her problem… not yours. I know you just want her to be treated well and be happy, but you dont have control over that anymore. Be a man and move on dude.

59

[quote]TheKraken wrote:

[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Your ex is content and happy being a home wrecking whore. She is not getting cheated on, her bf’s wife is, and she knows. That’s why she told you to butt out. She doesn’t want you to keep nosing around and screw up her meal ticket that she is spreading her legs for right now. So just butt out and consider that one a bullet dodged. [/quote]

This^
One of the few smart decisions I’ve made around relationships was to make a clean solid break. Over is over, so over on. She is technically an adult and can take care of herself. If she can’t, that’s all the more reason to move on. I know this is harder because everyone is on display through social media so you’ll inevitably be reminded and tempted to look and act, but don’t. Man up and move on.

Two side benefits form this. First, you have a chance of keeping some dignity. Second, breaking off contact drives attention whores crazy. You’ll be the one that got away, the good one, the classy one, etc., that has gotten me laid more than once. Women have no respect for begging, even in the guise of “White Knights.” [/quote]

THIS.

I have had both experiences of pining after a girl who dumped me, and not chasing after one who dumped me.

If you simply vanish, her wonder and curiosity will drive her nutty. I would much rather give her that, than my deflated self-respect by chasing her around.

Stop total contact, she will probably come back around when this shit with the new guy fizzles out.

60

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m trying to parse this business of the ex having NO IDEA and NO WAY OF KNOWING what’s on her boyfriend’s FB page.

OP, can you explain this? [/quote]

If she’s not FB friends with his wife/ex-wife then she can’t see what the lady posts. And as far as his FB he can control who see’s and doesn’t see his pics, posts, etc.