A Story: The Past, Present and Future

Training Training Logs
161

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Lying snow angels?

White women?[/quote]

hahaha i couldnt think of what to name them, but basically i lye on a bench, feet straight out and together, then contracting the core as hard as possible i slowly bring my legs apart, thne back in, like a snow angel move, minus the arm flailing.

Ive been trying to come up with different moevement planes for my core, usually i do the extend one leg at a time from a 45 degree bent position while lying, but i figure going in this plane will help cover more shit.

Ya feel me?

162

missed a few posts… so heres lil recap, friday i did a squat/dl workout, did lots of speed squats and 4x20 with 110 pounds on fat bar deads. Just as i suspected the next day my lower back and hips were sore as fuck, but musclar not nerve or spine sore. It was nice, and i think this means ineed to keep building up high rep deads and strengthen that area in my lower back, slowly and surely. Saturday i had to throw alot of hay for our horse, maybe 200 bails, was a fun workout in itself, then did a sweet shoulder/back/ab workout later in the evening and a nice run.

Today, went for a long hike, up monadknock, good off day cardio got the burns…

Got a few bitches in the works, one from work got a possible lunch date wih and an old friend from high school supposed to go see some burnouts later this week :slight_smile:

Moving on and moving up.
Fuckers.

163

just a lil life ramblin right now…
So after having a terrible last semester, failing two classes, not sleeping, not eating, only thing keeping me goign was training and now its been maybe 1-2 months since then and i feel fucking awesome. Im attacking all of my problems at work, with my family, friends, school, and just plain old life. Thinking back its hard to imagine how fucking depressed i was, and the way i was thinking just seems so fucked up to look back on.

Ha, i suppose thats how it always is, as when i was depressed i couldnt remeber ever feeling this good. Its been way to long since i could jsut walk about my day, smiling, for no god dang reason. And i fucking love it. Obviously im still working on certain things as you can never be perfect, and the anxiety is seriously just getting kicked in the fucking teeth and knocked down. As a result, my sleep is pretty fucking great lately, as i dont spend hours lying in my bed thinking stupid shit, i just think happy thoughts and drift off :slight_smile:

Anyways just thought id share some of this shit, and it helps me keep track. I know this happened last summer too though, i had a bad second smeester and then spent the summer reversing it, but i still ended up in the same place this year. Well now i really know what works and what doesnt. In addition to the medication i am looking forward to this school year and how im going to tackle it. I feel like i finally have all the right tools in my tool box, ive got a decent amount of safety nets set up to catch me if i fall which ive never spent time planning before.

Im looking forward to being able to talk to my parents when i have school troubles, im looking forward to my apartment with my buddy sean, were both on the same page as far as social anxiety, school problems, and to much weed usage in the past as an outlet. Having a roomate whos on that page with me is going to only make things easier to stay on track, and keep each other in line, all while having fun!
Im turning twenty one, the first friday of the semester, so fuck yes!

I have awesome challenging classes as well, a mix of math, computer science and philosphy.
I will be getting a new talk therapist out in amherst so that i can see them more frequently as opposed to needing to drive all the way home each time. This, IMO will be critical to my success. Last year i was only able to see my guy every 2 or 3 weeks, sometimes evry 4, and since the school year is my time of crisis it seems, i thought having someone close by during the school year and less frequent during the summer when im usually all set will only make dealing with shit that much easier.

Id like to continue what im doing now, and continue to work on things to improve. The only way i want to go is forward.
Well, theres some morning rambles…Training tonight will shatter the floor. See yas then.

164

awesome night tonight, even though i worked 9 hours and didnt eat much, i managed it.

Goblets
25x20
35x2x20

SPlit squats
25x8
25’sx8
40’sx8, band pullapartsx25
60’sx8/bandsx25|x2 sets

Front box squats…yum
95x3
135x3
185x3
225x2x3…awesome…felt really light just didnt want to push to hard, all the heavy holds definitely made these just feel super light which is epic. Did some band walks btw sets

GM’s and glute bridge
65x20/Bwx10|x2

Y/T/A’s ss with planks
5’sx15/15/15, BWx45sec|x3 rounds

Tbar row
50x25
75x25,25
50x25

Band ext ss with lying abs
Bandx25/Bwxfailure|x3 rounds

Did a little circuit of fat bar curls elbows out extensions and lying side leg raises for dem oblique fuckers…felt nice

OVerall everything felt great and im really happy with that front squat. Hopefully some good sprints tomorrow and overhead pressing on wednesday!

165

2.3 mile jog, 12 hill sprints and a bunch of plyos to cool down.

Sore as a fuck today from the GM’s and front squats…yum.

Keep running into one of the girls i met in the lab, holding off on asking her to lunch even though i aqquired her number, trying to build a little hard to get, intrigue esc kinda thing. Shes actually warming up to me when she sees me now, more smiles and chit chat…mmmmmm playing that chill friendly card fo sho.

Slow and steady wins my dick.

Pressing hard tomorrow… yum fuck.

166

I’m gonna be a therapist brah

How’s the women?

167

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
I’m gonna be a therapist brah

How’s the women?

[/quote]

Well if you mean the one with the boyfriend, thats long and gone, everythings just peachy, have nothing to feel bad about really, she came onto me and i guess they kinda ‘swing’ to begin with or some shit, either way not really into her other than sexually.
But if you mean others, ive got one from work ive got future lunch date with, another from school who also works where i work, also have a lunch date with her. Then theres the one that got away from me this past semster and ive recently been chatting with her and we have plans to catch up one of these next few eeekends. Then theres a possible female from highschool that we may end up hanging out going to some burn outs or something chill.
Basically, im just straight chillen way my options and feeling out the best of the flock.
Maybe not everyones style, but i like what im doing right now. Nothing feels forced which is nice.

Also, if your therapist remark is serious…do you have a specific type you want to go into?

168

pretty much did alot of random shit today so lets see if can remeber some:

One arm overhead press ss with pullaparts
15x20/MMx20
25x20/MMx20
35x20/MMx20|x2

Decline fat bar (varying grips)
70x20
110x30
130x30

Flat fly
15’sx20/20

Fat bar row
70x4x20 various grips

Front box squat ss with db row
95x20/40x25|x2

Rack Chins ss with T’s
Bwx12,12/5’sx25/25

Side swings ss with front raises
25’sxlike 75 or something silly/8’sxalot|x2 rounds

did various sets of preacher db curls, reverse fat bar curls, band extensions, incline elbows out extensions, neck harness work, snow angels, even some wrist curls!

felt pretty awesome after this workout, nothign special just lots of stuff i needed to do. Time to chill city with the water pipe ya feel?

169

700×481 58.1 KB

[quote]bignate wrote:
just a lil life ramblin right now…
So after having a terrible last semester, failing two classes, not sleeping, not eating, only thing keeping me goign was training and now its been maybe 1-2 months since then and i feel fucking awesome. Im attacking all of my problems at work, with my family, friends, school, and just plain old life. Thinking back its hard to imagine how fucking depressed i was, and the way i was thinking just seems so fucked up to look back on.

Ha, i suppose thats how it always is, as when i was depressed i couldnt remeber ever feeling this good. Its been way to long since i could jsut walk about my day, smiling, for no god dang reason. And i fucking love it. Obviously im still working on certain things as you can never be perfect, and the anxiety is seriously just getting kicked in the fucking teeth and knocked down. As a result, my sleep is pretty fucking great lately, as i dont spend hours lying in my bed thinking stupid shit, i just think happy thoughts and drift off :slight_smile:

Anyways just thought id share some of this shit, and it helps me keep track. I know this happened last summer too though, i had a bad second smeester and then spent the summer reversing it, but i still ended up in the same place this year. Well now i really know what works and what doesnt. In addition to the medication i am looking forward to this school year and how im going to tackle it. I feel like i finally have all the right tools in my tool box, ive got a decent amount of safety nets set up to catch me if i fall which ive never spent time planning before.

Im looking forward to being able to talk to my parents when i have school troubles, im looking forward to my apartment with my buddy sean, were both on the same page as far as social anxiety, school problems, and to much weed usage in the past as an outlet. Having a roomate whos on that page with me is going to only make things easier to stay on track, and keep each other in line, all while having fun!
Im turning twenty one, the first friday of the semester, so fuck yes!

I have awesome challenging classes as well, a mix of math, computer science and philosphy.
I will be getting a new talk therapist out in amherst so that i can see them more frequently as opposed to needing to drive all the way home each time. This, IMO will be critical to my success. Last year i was only able to see my guy every 2 or 3 weeks, sometimes evry 4, and since the school year is my time of crisis it seems, i thought having someone close by during the school year and less frequent during the summer when im usually all set will only make dealing with shit that much easier.

Id like to continue what im doing now, and continue to work on things to improve. The only way i want to go is forward.
Well, theres some morning rambles…Training tonight will shatter the floor. See yas then. [/quote]

170

^lol good find, you always find very appropriate memes

171

Damn man

You swimmin in bitches lol

Any of em skinny white redheads you wanna share?

And yea I’m serious. I’m going into neuropsych for my Masters so I can work with athletes specifically who have had brain injuries…then on to improving safety of sports headwear

Not really a therapist in the common sense but still a psychologist

172

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Damn man

You swimmin in bitches lol

Any of em skinny white redheads you wanna share?

And yea I’m serious. I’m going into neuropsych for my Masters so I can work with athletes specifically who have had brain injuries…then on to improving safety of sports headwear

Not really a therapist in the common sense but still a psychologist[/quote]

that sounds awesome, and yeah ill see if i can get one boxed up and shipped out to you by friday, shell be in pre starved condition, just for you. I know you like them half alive at the most.

173

Count, introduced myself to a nice cute redhead on the shuttle this morning…shes for you. hope yous excited.

174

Its a good specilization that will let me hop into a few areas I’m interested in…medical and sports…engineering while still leaving me with the choice to do the headshrinking “tell me about mommy” thing

OOO half alive white women

175

^sounds like youve done a fair amount of planning for the future as far as job/school/career moves. Im beginning to do the same myself…and yes barely half alive O_o

176

Another number taken!

Saw this real cute girl i had seen at orientation sitting alone for lunch, went up to that shit, asked her whats a pretty girl like her doin sittin all alone and BAM! convo started, numbers obtained.
Shes actually my age too which is rare to find where i work as its most grad students or post docs.
Anyways just posting this shit cuz well… ive been working hard to get rid of my anxiety in meeting girls and its working. Everytime i try to talk to a new girl its been easier and easier, i.e the positive reinforcement snowball effect!

anyways just posting lil updates here and there and so i have a little note for myself in the future when future me starts bitching about blah blah blah and im like look at old me being all proactive, get your act together future me and so on.

Nate

177

[quote]bignate wrote:
Another number taken!

Saw this real cute girl i had seen at orientation sitting alone for lunch, went up to that shit, asked her whats a pretty girl like her doin sittin all alone and BAM! convo started, numbers obtained.
Shes actually my age too which is rare to find where i work as its most grad students or post docs.
Anyways just posting this shit cuz well… ive been working hard to get rid of my anxiety in meeting girls and its working. Everytime i try to talk to a new girl its been easier and easier, i.e the positive reinforcement snowball effect!

anyways just posting lil updates here and there and so i have a little note for myself in the future when future me starts bitching about blah blah blah and im like look at old me being all proactive, get your act together future me and so on.

Nate[/quote]

Noice. I wish I had that kind of confidence with teh womenz.

CS

178

[quote]bignate wrote:
^sounds like youve done a fair amount of planning for the future as far as job/school/career moves. Im beginning to do the same myself[/quote]
how does it feel?

179

[quote]CSEagles1694 wrote:

[quote]bignate wrote:
Another number taken!

Saw this real cute girl i had seen at orientation sitting alone for lunch, went up to that shit, asked her whats a pretty girl like her doin sittin all alone and BAM! convo started, numbers obtained.
Shes actually my age too which is rare to find where i work as its most grad students or post docs.
Anyways just posting this shit cuz well… ive been working hard to get rid of my anxiety in meeting girls and its working. Everytime i try to talk to a new girl its been easier and easier, i.e the positive reinforcement snowball effect!

anyways just posting lil updates here and there and so i have a little note for myself in the future when future me starts bitching about blah blah blah and im like look at old me being all proactive, get your act together future me and so on.

Nate[/quote]

Noice. I wish I had that kind of confidence with teh womenz.

CS[/quote]

ha well i can tell you that this is probably the first time in my life that ive had it. And i had to actually work at it it wasnt just like i woke up and bam had that shit. I still totally get nervous but its way more manageable and more just excitement too…also havent actually gotten muchbeyond the initial encounters but ya gotta start somewhere! I literally made myself do things i was uncomfortable doing just to get over them and it worked haha

180

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]bignate wrote:
^sounds like youve done a fair amount of planning for the future as far as job/school/career moves. Im beginning to do the same myself[/quote]
how does it feel?[/quote]

it feels…nice.