Kudos on the self reflection, but be careful. Without some guidance (an objective adult) it can easily turn into self flagellation
You seem to have some very high expectations of yourself and other people and what their roles should be, but when they don’t fulfill those expectations, your opinion of them becomes very low. This does not bode well for long term friendships and relationships. Try to realize that you are 50% of every interaction you have- Good, bad, or indifferent- the other people or person has their part and you have yours. And most importantly in that- nobody is perfect. Neither you or them, and mistakes are going to be made.