300 Review

Off Topic
1

So I just got back about an hour ago, and thought I would post my thoughts (nothing terribly coherent, just general impressions).

This movie is NOT the “cinematic revolution” some people are making it out to be. It is NOT something entirely new or original or anything of the sort. It IS an archetype of everything that is wholly and incontrovertibly badass.

Every actor in the film is ripped to shreds. They are not bodybuilder-huge–they just look dangerous. Leonidas looks like he could run through a brick wall. The guys at gymjones.com clearly did a fantastic job training the cast, however sub-optimal their crossfit-derived methodologies may or may not be.

This movie is EPIC, and by epic I mean “copious use of extremely dramatic slow-motion and exagerrated poses.” I would say that fully half of the film takes place in slo-mo. This is okay, however, because it allows the viewer to better appreciate the fine cinematic detail that goes into depicting someone being stabbed in the face. And there is a lot of face-stabbing. The visual imagery is stunning, from a cloud of arrows literally blotting out the sun, to Xerxes unblinkingly staring down Leonidas, to battle scenes that cut in and out of slow-motion so fluidly you almost don’t realize it’s happening. It’s the most arresting visual effect I’ve seen since The Matrix.

The plot almost perfectly follows that of the Frank Miller graphic novel, so if you’ve read that, you know what to expect. Much like Sin City, this film really looks like it was pulled directly from the panels of Miller’s work. While the effect is generally positive, the fact that I knew exactly what was going to happen took a little of the intensity out of the film.

I walked out of the theater with a strong desire to pick up the heaviest thing I could find and throw it as far as I could. I can really think of no better encapsulation of everything masculine and/or testosterone-filled. Again, while it is not by any means a landmark achievement in cinema, it is a damn fine movie which should be appreciated by everyone on these boards.

2

Sounds like fun.

I wanted to go see it at the IMAX theater near me, but every showtime sold out for the entire weekend by mid-day yesterday.

Looks like I’ll be waiting until next weekend.

3

I saw it to

I have to say that brought a hole new level of bad ass to movies Im going to see it again on sunday I liked it that much

the only thing I didnt like was the underwear/sack holster they wore that was pretty gay

cant wait until it comes out on DVD

n3wb

4

“I loved you the most.”

5

“this will not be quick. you will not enjoy it, and i am not your queen”!!! most bad ass scene by a female in a long time.

6

This is Gladiator and Braveheart to a new freaking level. I will defiantly go back and watch it again and then buy it when it comes out. Awesome, simply awesome.

7

F*********CKING SWEEEET! I saw it in IMAX at midnight Friday, and loved it. It is without a doubt, the epitome of manliness. A true T-Movie of sorts.

8

My only criticism is that the women should have been more built.

Spartans believed that strong women produced stronger sons.

As such, they were raised in gymnastics and martial arts from birth, just like any male Spartan. The actresses should’ve at least looked the part.

– ElbowStrike

9

Well, I finally got some breathing room from school for the time being, and I took 2 hours of it to go see this movie.

Long review (sorry, it just kinda wound up that way):

Now, generally, I dislike going to the movies because I hate the smell of fucking buttered popcorn and my ass invariably goes numb from slumping in a chair for prolonged periods (I haven’t been away THAT long - I know at least one of you will find a joke in that one, so I’ll start – it’s not a total loss, 'cause it preps me for later that night drums). But, for this movie, I was able to forget about either one of those issues from star to finish. Always a plus, believe me.

OK, so the movie IS, largely, a “violence-filled test-fest”, as one critic put it, but I feel it’s worth mentioning that it’s also spiced up with a dash of “non-battle” action sporting, at times, an uncanny resemblance to late night Skin-emax. Except that, in this case, at least, you’re watching the movie for the plot. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about here, people. I’m serious. No one cares if your sister died doing an undercover police gig at a shady strip club run by a local drug kingpin, and you’re a busty reporter with just the right moves to “go down” low enough to get to the bottom the mystery. We just want tits and a functioning mute button.

Or something like that, I wouldn’t know…

So, the movie immediately appeals to two of the primary focal points of Average Joe American, and, in case that isn’t enough, the film shamelessly administers a healthy dose of gratuitous (though not altogether unappreciated - but is it ever, really?), almost-but-not-quite-there lesbianism. I’m confident that some of you Tribexers out there will get your tent thoroughly pitched by that. As for me, well, I just got an erection outta it. But I’m weird like that.

Almost-but-not-quite-there lesbianism…can anyone say…Director’s Cut?

Well, to nutshell it for you all: good graphics, solid storyline, a surprising pleasant number of mutants (seriously), killer fight scenes (that’s not intended as a bad joke…they were sweet), though I will admit that at times you get the feeling that if you were to speed up the slow-motion parts to realtime, the movie would only be about 45-50 minutes, 5% or so being good dialogue, 10% breastage, and 85% people getting stabbed in the face with spears.

Though I wouldn’t call it the best movie I’ve seen in a while, I WILL say that it is entertaining. And, though it won’t make your third ball drop, it IS one of those movies that can get you pumped to fight, lift, rub one out, rinse and repeat.

10

Maybe you should stop staring and just watch what is going on…

I liked the movie a lot. It is definitely up there with Braveheart and Gladiator. I liked the queen a lot as well.

11

Fight Club has been my favorite movie since it came out in '99. It is now number #2. That’s all I need to say.

mike

12

[quote]Mikeyali wrote:
Fight Club has been my favorite movie since it came out in '99. It is now number #2. That’s all I need to say.

mike[/quote]

i know they don’t share the same genre, but thats my sentiment exactly. the new #1 test movie.

13

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
Sounds like fun.

I wanted to go see it at the IMAX theater near me, but every showtime sold out for the entire weekend by mid-day yesterday.

Looks like I’ll be waiting until next weekend.[/quote]

Be careful with IMAX. Sometimes, quite often their cut is shorter than a regular theatrical release. I think it was Spiderman 2 that was 30 minutes or so shorter than its regular theater release.

14

My only major complaint was the Persian executioner. That was stupid. Big fat guy with mutant blades for arms??? The Bull-headed dude in the herem scene got a few laughs as well. The ending as a let down. I can’t believe they all died…seriously, I expected more of a final-stand slugfest.

Other than that, I was ready to break things after the movie. I was pumped. I expect a few PR’s this week in the gym.

I’ll put this at #2 on my Man-movie list just below “Gladiator”.

15

Badass flick. Saw it friday. It has clear-cut principles, awesome action and it’s gorgeusly shot. Go see, you won’t regret it.

16

I also saw it yesterday and loved it. Only parts that i thought were stupid were the mutant people. Also did anyone else catch the preview for that viking and native american movie. That looked pretty sweet as well.

17

I enjoyed the fact that all the spartans where jacked and Xerxes forces where all kinda puny, small thing but it made me smile.

Of course they all died that’s what happened at the hot gates. Also on that note the film was based on the Miller comic so everything get’s exageratted the size of the rhino and the peircings on the persions for instance

18

[quote]mj_gk wrote:
F*********CKING SWEEEET! I saw it in IMAX at midnight Friday, and loved it. It is without a doubt, the epitome of manliness. [/quote]

No it doesn’t, and no it isn’t.

Overblown, exaggerated, and it gave you no reason to give two fucks if Sparta burned. The only identifiable character was Leonidas- all the others were nameless.

Spartan freedom? Show us where it was… give us a reason to care that the persians were trying to overtake it. Some cool battle scenes, but the CGI kind of takes away from the feeling. The ending is cool, though, with the Spartans on the plains.

It was interesting, don’t get me wrong, but I’d have been alot happier if I’d seen it on HBO as opposed to paying ten bucks at a theater.

Gladiator, Braveheart, and Troy still kick this movie’s ass though.

19

The 300 is based on a comic book. It’s highly stylized. It is what it is.

I enjoyed it knowing full well that it would not be historically accurate, very violent etc, etc. For a good fairly historically accurate version of the battle read Steven Pressfield’s “Gate of Fire”

For what it’s worth, Victor David Hansen, one of America’s pre-eminent war historians love the movie. It kicks ass.

Thermopylae was western civilzation’s Alamo. If the 300 Spartan peers and a few thousand of their allies didn’t hold Xerxes up at the gates to allow the rest of Sparta and the other city states of Greece time to mobilze and organize the world as we know it would not have existed. No Greek civilzation, no Roman’s, no democracy, no US. The importance of the sacrifice can’t be minimized.

Frank Miller just made it cool enough that people who know nothing about it may pick up abook.
Here is a link to a History channel special on the battle:

20

[quote]MODOK wrote:

TROY??? LOL!!! In no way can you compare “300” to that homoerotic piece of shit. You are crazy. This movie ranks right behind Braveheart, and just in front of Gladiator.

[/quote]

hahahahaha. No, this movie is nowhere near Gladiator. Not on any level.