Those aren’t credits after Walker Texas Ranger. They’re just people Chuck Norris round-house kicked that day.
They are no “disabled people.” They are just people who have crossed Chuck Norris.
I like the following chuck norris facts:
Chuck Norris does not shit. He excretes weakness.
Chuck Norris likes his girls like he likes his whiskey - 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Not to be outdone by the popularity of Marky Mark’s third nipple, Chuck Norris willed into creation a magical teat located just to the right of his belly button that generates a stream of crude oil whenever Chuck hears the song “Good Vibrations”.
When Chuck Norris went to China he met Bruce Lee who wanted to see if Chuck Norris was as good a fighter as he had heard. When Chuck declined Bruce called him a pussy. Chuck responded by roundhouse kicking him in the face so hard that all Chinese peoples faces are flattened.
I really like this one about Vin Diesel:
He once extracted a 100 watt light bulb from a woman’s vagina by inserting an Ikea floor lamp and screwing it onto the bulb’s threads.
They’re all there.
My favs:
If chuck norris is runnning late, time better slow the fuck down.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse pointed and exclaimed, “that’s Vin Diesel!” and quickly slept with him. At that point she was the 3rd person he’d had sex with.
holy shit i barely made it through reading that…hahaha
best. post. ever.
This has to be the best one yet.
[quote]spunky_kineto wrote:
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
[/quote]
I pity the fool who buys those jeans
[quote]Mr. Mojangles wrote:
just when you think it cant get any better[/quote]
At last! What I always wanted! And at only $24.99, they’re a bargain. I wonder if they’ll deliver to the UK…
OMG, this stuff is FUNNY! # 11 & 12 made me spit my coffee out!! LMAO!