Steroids. Let’s talk about 'em, and why I’m going to start doing 'em again.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Take Steroids
- They’re cheating.
Are they? And whom, exactly, am I cheating? I’m not in competition with anyone else so I don’t really understand why my steroid use could be considered cheating. And as for the idea that an accomplishment is greater if you don’t use shortcuts to get there - I completely disagree. If you and I have to drive to the same place and I arrive there sooner because I took a shortcut, we’re still at the same place and it just sucks to be you because you had to work harder.
- They’re bad for you.
Can’t really argue with this one, but the fact is I just don’t care. Compared to some of my other habits they’re downright healthful. And before someone points out to me that this is a logical fallacy (you maybe even know the fancy latin name for it, professor) - I don’t care. I will approach steroid use exactly the same way I approach drink, drugs, etc.: fine every now and then, but not something you should do every day. Life is for living, after all.
- They’re illegal.
Fucking barely, and I’m not selling them, brewing them or anything, so shaddap.
Why I’m Going To Use Them
I was born in 1985, and literally everyone I thought was cool growing up had big muscles. The Thundercats, Arnie, Stallone, Lundgren, He-Man, Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, every superhero ever, the list could go on forever! I’m 32 years old now, soon to be 33, and I want to have achieved at some point in my life a physique like those guys.
Now, I’m completely realistic about what I can accomplish with my woeful genetics, equally woeful response to drugs (more on that later) and the types of drugs/dosages I’m comfortable using. I’ll never look like Arnie, and I’m ok with that, but I can be as fucking jacked as the current crop of action heroes (Captain America, Thor, etc.) and maintain that year round for a good few years if I’m smart.
Some people can probably achieve that without steroids, and more power to you if you can, but I can’t. Not making excuses; simply a matter of fact. I think by the time I’m 35, maybe sooner, I can achieve this goal. It’s a pretty exciting prospect.
What I’m Using
The list of steroids I will use is very small. The list is simply:
-Test (duh)
-Equipoise
-Anavar
My comeback cycle will be 300mg test and 600mg EQ. It’s not a very common cycle for people to do, and a straight test cycle of 600mg would probably net more muscle gain, but there’s more to consider than that and you have to think big picture.
EQ hardly aromatises, which is great because I’m very sensitive to oestrogen, but aromatase signals to your liver to release IGF-1, so you always need a little of an aromatising compound in there. Common bro lore says that EQ is as anabolic as test and aromatises half as much. Neither of these statements is true; it does not build as much muscle but it aromatises way less than half of what test does.
The test dose is low, but low dose test with a decent dose of a different anabolic is something I’ve always wanted to try. I think it’ll give an amazing, hard look while I’m on it which’ll be fun. I’m also timing my cycle so that I’ll be on over summer, just on the off chance I actually get to show my muscles off somewhere in this dismal country.
So my nice, gentle cycle will mean very little in the way of E sides to deal with, but it’s still a decent dose of EQ so I’ll net some good muscle gains. When all’s said and done I would expect 8-10lbs of muscle from a 14 week cycle. I know 14 weeks sounds like a weird number but if I buy 3 vials of EQ that’s how long it’ll last. Sadly, I’ve never been one to blow up by 15lbs on a cycle but that’s just the way it is. Can’t change your genetics; just have to make the best of them.
The other reason the test dose is low is because I want to be able to progress the cycles over the coming years. Something like
-1st cycle 300mg test/600 EQ
-2nd 600mg test
-3rd 600mg test/600mg EQ
-4th 900mg test
-5th 900mg test/600mg EQ
But that’s not to say the jumps will be as big as that, and I might not increase the dosages at all. If I gain really well from a cycle then I’ll just run an identical cycle again next time. No point in increasing dosages if there’s no need. I doubt I’ll ever go above 1.5g of gear at any time. I’ll certainly not go above 1.5g of test! That’s a fucking monster dose and I doubt I’ll ever go anywhere near that high. 1200mg maybe, but not the big 15 hundo.
Coming Off
I’m not an idiot, and I know that there is a real chance I will be on testosterone for the rest of my life from this. Honestly? Actually quite looking forward to it. The only reason I didn’t do this in the past was because of someday having kids, but my girlfriend and I have talked about it, and neither of us want kids. I’ve never particularly wanted them, but was prepared to have them with a girl if she really wanted them and I loved her enough. My mrs is so against having kids she actually considered having her tubes tied (I talked her out of that - no way I was going to let her undergo a major surgery like that!) so that’ll never be a problem with her. I love my girl and want to be with her forever. Maybe we’ll break up and the next girl I meet’ll want kids and I’ll have a sticky situation on my hands, but any kind of emotional investment in a person’s always a risk. Just how it goes.
So those are my opinions of, reasons for, and plan of attack for using steroids again for those of you who care, which is probably nobody, but it was fun to type all that out.
Bring on da gainz!
