[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
I have this buddy whose son is horrible, yelling doesn’t work, taking toys away doesn’t work, slap on the butt doesn’t work. He just laughs, doesn’t care and continues with the bad behavior. [/quote]
My daughter was like this for a while too, nothing worked. Sitting her down and talking to her (there’s an idea) about what was wrong and letting her know my disappointment in her actions, worked wonders.
I work with kids, don’t worry anybody (I don’t discipline them), and you can see the way the kids don’t care or respect any authority. Then I meet there parents and notice their lack of giving a shit of what their kids do. The kids not caring about authority and the parents not caring about what their kids do, I think, is a direct correlation on the bad behavior. Is this a little over the top, maybe, but at least she’s doing something. Who knows, he could grow up, write a rap song about his abusive home and make a couple million.
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
[quote]worzel wrote:
Someone said that the little fella is adopted…did you hear that bitch say people don’t lie in ‘MY’ house, it should have been ‘OUR’ house. What a way to mess with the little fellas head!
[/quote]
That got under my skin too, choice of words was horrible, its his house too. And if she does this for everything then yes, excessive punishment is counter productive, but hell, if he screws up and this kind of punishment works…go for it IMO.
[/quote]
The kid didn’t pay for the house, it’ss not his, but it’s his home. Home and house are different psychologically.[/quote]
Potato/potato…choice of words, your a fucking idiot. Who knows it may be an apartment…who cares.[/quote]
No it’s not, a home can be anywhere. A house is a house, and you’re a douche bag that can’t properly spell or think logically that says putting hot sauce in a kids mouth is okay.
were a lot of yall raised by a single mother? damn I wasn’t expecting this. The kid will most likely grow up getting good grades and landing a great job because of this so called “torture”. I wish I can say the same about all these kids that own their parents.
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
I work with kids, don’t worry anybody (I don’t discipline them), and you can see the way the kids don’t care or respect any authority. Then I meet there parents and notice their lack of giving a shit of what their kids do. The kids not caring about authority and the parents not caring about what their kids do, I think, is a direct correlation on the bad behavior. Is this a little over the top, maybe, but at least she’s doing something. Who knows, he could grow up, write a rap song about his abusive home and make a couple million.[/quote]
No one cares '09er.
[quote]inkaddict wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
I have this buddy whose son is horrible, yelling doesn’t work, taking toys away doesn’t work, slap on the butt doesn’t work. He just laughs, doesn’t care and continues with the bad behavior. [/quote]
My daughter was like this for a while too, nothing worked. Sitting her down and talking to her (there’s an idea) about what was wrong and letting her know my disappointment in her actions, worked wonders.
[/quote]
Thats what works with my daughter, she responds well with it. For my brother and I, talking didnt work.
[quote]worzel wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
Call me a sadistic fcuk if you want but I think pain compliance is ONE of the best ways to help kids learn right from wrong. Not the only, not the BEST, but one of the best.
[/quote]
So you were beaten by your father, did you fear him? I certainly dont want my kids to fear me!
You’re opinion on pain being the best way for compliance just highlights how superficial your view on disciplining kids is. A kid might not repeat a bad behaviour if they were hammered by daddy but that kid has just learnt to FEAR daddy and that violence is the answer to getting what they want, just like you have learned that violence solves a childs bad behaviour.
[/quote]
I disagree. My dad spanked me like 3 times in my life. Once was when I was 12 and he used a paddle. My mom used to smack me all the fucking time. Guess whose authority I respected more?
I haven’t spanked my son since he was 5 years old (he’s 9 now), and he still has a healthy respect of my authority. It’s not fear, it’s RESPECT. He knows not to fuck with Dad. He knows to listen. I knew the same thing, despite hardly ever getting smacked by him.
As far as the “using violence to solve problems” thing, that’s completely out of line. You’re assuming the kids don’t KNOW that they’ve done something wrong, which is not the case most of the time. There is a huge difference between getting smacked because you did something bad and getting smacked because “Dad’s angry”.
The other important thing is balancing the rod with affection. That’s something I failed miserably at in my first years as a young parent, but am trying to work on now.
[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
I work with kids, don’t worry anybody (I don’t discipline them), and you can see the way the kids don’t care or respect any authority. Then I meet there parents and notice their lack of giving a shit of what their kids do. The kids not caring about authority and the parents not caring about what their kids do, I think, is a direct correlation on the bad behavior. Is this a little over the top, maybe, but at least she’s doing something. Who knows, he could grow up, write a rap song about his abusive home and make a couple million.[/quote]
No one cares '09er.[/quote]
haha, '09er…feels like Im some pimply kid in my freshman year. I should be washing your car right '05er? i got under your skin saying you cant read huh? maybe you should read and comprehend before you reply.
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
[quote]inkaddict wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
I have this buddy whose son is horrible, yelling doesn’t work, taking toys away doesn’t work, slap on the butt doesn’t work. He just laughs, doesn’t care and continues with the bad behavior. [/quote]
My daughter was like this for a while too, nothing worked. Sitting her down and talking to her (there’s an idea) about what was wrong and letting her know my disappointment in her actions, worked wonders.
[/quote]
Thats what works with my daughter, she responds well with it. For my brother and I, talking didnt work.[/quote]
Didn’t work with me as a kid either, but things change (obviously) and I think many people would be surprised to see how well actually talking to your kid works. The problem is most parents just don’t give a fuck.
[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
[quote]worzel wrote:
Someone said that the little fella is adopted…did you hear that bitch say people don’t lie in ‘MY’ house, it should have been ‘OUR’ house. What a way to mess with the little fellas head!
It makes you think about what other fucked up shit she might be saying to him to erode his sense of security/family/belonging?
[/quote]
My over our house is a little nit picking. She also said, people that live in this house don’t lie, do you live in this house?
I’m not too worried, both my father and mother called it “My House”; however, it was still my home.[/quote]
It’s not nit picking mate! The fact that the kid is adopted amplifies that statement above mere ‘nit picking’. If the child doesnt know he is adopted then I retract what I said.
The childs posture and body language were completely submissive. That bitch dominated him, eye balled him and intimidated him and then she administered her well though out punishment. She obviously ‘thinks’ about how to chastise her kids so you would imagine she would come up with more proactive ‘ideas’ to deal with bad behaivour than the retarded, backward ones she came up with there in that clip.
TL;DR - Sometimes kids need their butts kicked.
Long version:
I think there’s a time and place for all types of punishments, including hitting, but that people resort to hitting too often.
I used to be neighbors with this Mennonite (kinda like modern Amish with iPods) family for years. They had two kids, a boy and a girl. They would spank (not BEAT, just swat) the kids on occasion when they were younger (less than 10 y/o), but mostly used time-outs and other mild methods.
When the kids were in the 8 - 12 year old range, they mostly used hard physical labor as a punishment. If the kids mouthed off, the girl would have to weed the garden or rake leaves or something; the boy would have to chop wood or shovel dirt.
This worked well. The kids were well behaved and polite.
When the boy hit 14 - 15 years old and all that testosterone hit his system, he got really moody, typical teenager hormones type of thing. One day he shoved his mother, and when confronted by his father, proceeded to tell his dad that he could kick his ass.
His father very calmly took off his coat and invited his son out into the backyard to fight, which the boy, in his arrogance and stupidity, was more than happy to accept. The father proceeded to beat his son’s ass until the boy gave up.
He then made it very clear that the boy might not agree with them, and he’s welcome to explain why in a civilized manner whenever he’d like, but he is to show his parents, and especially his mother, respect and to obey their rules while living in their home.
The boy was a moody, emo pain in the ass for a few years, but he never mouthed off to his parents again, and he mostly stayed out of trouble due to the proactive role of his parents in his life. During his late teens/early adulthood, he got his crap sorted and grew into a fine young man.
Sometimes I would how the boy would have turned out his his parents beat him as a child. He probably wouldn’t have cared about being whooped when he got older, and would have become a very problematic teenager.
As far as this video is concerned, this woman has some serious fucking stones to actually be able to do this. I think the fact that the kid is not really her’s makes it easier.
Bottom line is this: the kid knew the punishment, and still crossed the line. He is not hurt in any lasting way. Maybe next time he will think twice. I don’t see how it’s any different than being spanked. Nobody likes watching kids cry, which is why the video was uncomfortable to watch.
^ I cant see the video so I will not comment even though I read this thread. But Brother Chris I have to put my foot down on the 09er comment. I thought we all got over that in 10?
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
[quote]worzel wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
Call me a sadistic fcuk if you want but I think pain compliance is ONE of the best ways to help kids learn right from wrong. Not the only, not the BEST, but one of the best.
[/quote]
So you were beaten by your father, did you fear him? I certainly dont want my kids to fear me!
You’re opinion on pain being the best way for compliance just highlights how superficial your view on disciplining kids is. A kid might not repeat a bad behaviour if they were hammered by daddy but that kid has just learnt to FEAR daddy and that violence is the answer to getting what they want, just like you have learned that violence solves a childs bad behaviour.
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
I’m sure we all know some parents who dont believe in discipline and their kids are hellions, and I’m sure we all know parents who do discipline and they have somewhat better behaved kids.
[/quote]
You’re so off the mark here because it works the other way to, which invalidates your point.
As the poster before me said “kids behaviour is a reflection on how the parents behave individually ‘and’ with each other”. I work with families and see this time and time again. It’s the parents who fuck kids up! Their lack of understanding and their sheer laziness to deal with it appropriately perpetuates bad behaviour.
[/quote]
So now you know my fathers and I relationship? wow, your good, or just plain stupid. My father and I have a great relationship, I didnt fear my father, I feared the consequences of my bad actions. I learned from fuckin up.
And to further my point of your stupidness (sounds good) read what I said before “Not the only, not the BEST, but one of the best”. Did you read it correctly that time?[/quote]
Reading Comprehension FAIL!
I’ll repeat so as not to cause you confusion “So you were beaten by your father, did you fear him?”. This thing here> ‘?’ denotes a question. Did you read that correctly?
“Not the only, not the BEST, but one of the best”. If this is in fact true then explain to me why corporal punishment is no longer practiced in schools, prisons etc. Don’t say because of some left wing softy bullshit, it’s because that shit does not work!
If physical punishment was one of the best ways to teach someone a lesson then why dont we bring back the cane in schools or the lash in prisons?
It is amazing how receptive little minds are to speech, reasoning & consequences…
[quote]worzel wrote:
Reading Comprehension FAIL!
I’ll repeat so as not to cause you confusion “So you were beaten by your father, did you fear him?”. This thing here> ‘?’ denotes a question. Did you read that correctly?
[/quote]
i dont really care about this argument but to be fair you did say “so you were beaten by your father” (which is a statement not a question) and then you asked if he feared his father. You then said “I certainly dont want my kids to fear me!” which implies that he feared his father from the beatings.
just sayin
I thought that was over the line. The physical punishment was a little excessive, but mostly what I found disturbing was her attitude. I think when children are given punishment, you have to separate yourself from the punishment. You can sound disappointed, you can be a bit angry, but I think shouting in the face of a child is counterproductive. Verbal abuse is the most damaging. As was said earlier, there’s a difference between respect and fear. I think punishment and respect should coexist and it’s a matter of attitude.
One of the teachers I work with told me “Too much or too little of anything will spoil a child.” I’ve found that to go both for affection and punishment. As a disclaimer, I don’t have kids, I just work in a program with 100 of them. I’ve definitely seen the products of some bad parenting.
In either case, this is still better than the noschooling parents.
[quote]worzel wrote:
“Not the only, not the BEST, but one of the best”. If this is in fact true then explain to me why corporal punishment is no longer practiced in schools, prisons etc. Don’t say because of some left wing softy bullshit, it’s because that shit does not work!
[/quote]
It’s a liability issue. Effectiveness has nothing to do with it.
Okay, I get it. Not everyone’s parenting styles are the same. This is an unconventional form of punishment and most people don’t do it. Does this make it wrong than smacking a kid on the ass for insubordination (sp)? I don’t know, I can’t make that qualification. I have no kids.
BUT, I’m a human. I understand how the parent/kid dynamic works (so if you use the “You’re not a parent” card, go ahead and suck it dry.) My mom is a social care worker, I have a pretty good feel for what child abuse entails, and this isn’t it.
Again, I’m not advocating the behavior but I also don’t think it’s an offense that calls for an outcry, IMO. And at the end of the day, this is all opinion-driven.
Plus, we are all overlooking the most important problem… She’s Mormon.
I keep bouncing back and forth on this one. The boy’s reaction during the entire affair was not one of blatant disrespect; he clearly stated he lied because he was afraid to be punished. Knowing what punishment was waiting, I would have probably gambled on lying too.
I also wonder what is required to “get a card pulled” (or whatever it was, I really have no desire to watch that clip again to double check). Does the punishment fit the crime?
There are too many unanswered questions to make any clear assessment, though. We don’t even get a glimpse of how the child behaves normally. Who’s to say that after an hour with this possible little bastard that we wouldn’t be spraying him down with hot sauce just to get a minute’s peace.
I’ve never had the need to spank my child, but I am not necessarily against it. One of the big problems I do have with the mother though, is how long she drags everything out. She asked why he lied, he told her and then she made him sit with hot sauce in his mouth while she screamed at him some more. What was she trying to get out of him…launch codes?
I feel if you are going to dole out a little physical punishment you leave the lecture for later when you are not so mad. The kid gets a slap or what have you and sent to his/her room. You are not going to get anything across to a screaming child; particularly when you are upset as well.
[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
[quote]worzel wrote:
[quote]MeatFreak wrote:
Call me a sadistic fcuk if you want but I think pain compliance is ONE of the best ways to help kids learn right from wrong. Not the only, not the BEST, but one of the best.
[/quote]
So you were beaten by your father, did you fear him? I certainly dont want my kids to fear me!
You’re opinion on pain being the best way for compliance just highlights how superficial your view on disciplining kids is. A kid might not repeat a bad behaviour if they were hammered by daddy but that kid has just learnt to FEAR daddy and that violence is the answer to getting what they want, just like you have learned that violence solves a childs bad behaviour.
[/quote]
I disagree. My dad spanked me like 3 times in my life. Once was when I was 12 and he used a paddle. My mom used to smack me all the fucking time. Guess whose authority I respected more?
I haven’t spanked my son since he was 5 years old (he’s 9 now), and he still has a healthy respect of my authority. It’s not fear, it’s RESPECT. He knows not to fuck with Dad. He knows to listen. I knew the same thing, despite hardly ever getting smacked by him.
As far as the “using violence to solve problems” thing, that’s completely out of line. You’re assuming the kids don’t KNOW that they’ve done something wrong, which is not the case most of the time. There is a huge difference between getting smacked because you did something bad and getting smacked because “Dad’s angry”.
[/quote]
We have moved onto ‘smacking’, which I think is separate to what I was discussing with MeatFreak. He began his defence of ‘pain management’ by stating that his 320lbs steel working father hit him across his face or used his belt across his ass and that was apparently ok!
This was his backup argument to what was going on in that vid, that is the violence I am commenting on, not smacking, which leads us on to what is a smack? This is where the line get blurred by all people hence the need for a separate discussion