I think I’ve received my weirdest present ever. my psyco sister-in-law gave me 2 spiney puffer fish. not for a tank but 2 puffed up dried out fish like you see in a bad seafood restaurant.
the bigger 1 is about 7" across with spines about 1" long and the smaller 1 is about 4" across with spines about 1/2". they’ll punch a hole in you if you aren’t careful. they aren’t mounted on a stand or board. they just are. I can’t see putting them in my bookcases and I don’t dislike anyone else enough to regift them.
I guess I could hang the smaller one in a net from my rearview mirror. If I get into a wreck I can just see the cop filling out the report and trying to explain why the driver had a fish stuck to his forehead.
My sister-in-law gave me a fireplace guard one year and I don’t have a fireplace. She has given me children’s toys when I don’t have any children. And children’s books and stuffed animals. I finally came to the conclusion that she was either regifting or giving leftover gifts.
My brother gave me the exact same book two years in a row and to make it worse it was ‘Identifying trees of the northwest’ or something like that. Neither him nor I have any interest in identifying trees of the north west.
While this is going to initially sound cool, just think about it for moment…
My brother bought me a set of Batarangs. Yes, THOSE batarangs -lol. Sure I’ve always been a big Batman fan, and have a collection of figurines and memorabilia that borders on ‘a little much’, but these things are seriously heavy and sharp as hell! (of course were I 17 years old I’m certain I’d be in my parents’ yard throwing them into trees honing my skills so I could fight crime)
So far the globe struck me as a good gift until I read the caption. Second, pg 10, if I give my wife or daughter a fucking rape whistle, she better like the fact I’m concerned.
This was a joke gift but when I was younger I was spoilded a lot by my grandparents. I was the first grandchild so my grandmother loved buying my gifts. One year I think it was about 5, my grandfather said he got me a really special gift and wanted me to open it infront of everyone because it was soo special.
So he gathered everyone around as I started opening it. The box was pretty big so as I unwrapped it there was another box inside that box and another inside that one, and another, and another and another and another. All boxes were wrapped damn well too, I remember really struggling to unwrap them. SO I finally get to the last box and I pull out this object. It was 2 d size batteries with a note card taped to the top fo them. the card said “toy not included”. He thought it was hilarious as did everyone else who watched me open it. I however did not.
My worst have both been from my grandmother. One was a cow pillow cover, complete with legs and tails… and a removable head. Another year she gave me a stuffed skunk… not sure what she was trying to tell me there…
When I was 8 or so my grandparents got me a backpack, which they put in a cereal box and re-glued, then wrapped up as a gift.
Very clever, but I was happy as hell to get a box of Lucky Charms. With 3 older brothers and 1 older sister, a whole box of cereal to yourself would be a true Christmas miracle. I bust it open looking forward to a sugar induced nirvana and there is a stinking back pack. Practical, yes. Magically Delicious, NO.
Was my sixteenth birthday. Please bbear in mind that by no stretch of the imagination did I think that my parents would give me a car. Was absolutely not expecting one until after cake when my dad announces to me “come out to the driveway! Youur present is in the driveway let’s all go out and see it!” I admit it I thought wow, a car!
No.
Was a DESK. A giant drafting DESK from a fucking construction jobb site trailer! Dear lord. My dad will never ever live that one down. I’ve told him there’s really only one way out of it. Still waiting for a car.
I got a bicycle helmet for one of my earlier Christmas. We would all ride bikes around the neighborhood (Mid ninties) and whenever we did fall from our bikes or crash,our skull was the last thing that needed protecting. I cant tell you how many times Ive skid knees,elbows,landed on my face,slipping and had the seat hit my dick,or having the handlebars go through my stomach.
