[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Well, you got some work to do if just an off the cuff comment like that made you upset. And you tipped your hand to your GF by actually TELLING her that she was able to upset you. She now KNOWS that you are an insecure person. You might as well break it off with her now.
Predictions: She will now TEST YOU to see how deep the fault lines of your insecurity are. She will challenge your sexual prowess or size or compare you to someone else SUBTLY, and watch for your reaction. Given your level of insecurity (that you would actually break up with someone for a remark), you will fail the test and further kill any attraction that she has for you. She may drag it on a while, because she seems like a nice girl who cares about you. But she’ll move out in six months or so after you continue to kill the attraction with your rampant insecurity. Or she’ll tag you as a beta and want to settle down and marry you.
You need to fix this. (meaning your insecurity, not the relationship - that damage is already done)[/quote]
Off the cuff? Can’t blame you I hadn’t given this much background.
We have argued over this sort of thing before. I used to pay for everything with my ex-GF because I thought we were going to get married one day. I found out several years into that relationship that just because you think something is going to last forever doesn’t mean it will.
She has mentioned a few times that she is unhappy with having to pay rent. She doesn’t make a lot of money and that’s fine but I have a house payment and if she was living anywhere but home she would have to pay rent as well so I ask for it.
Sidenote: My willingness to say “fuck it” (and mean it) will most likely render your first predicition false. Also, someone’s willingness to apologize doesn’t make them a nice person if they don’t mean it which many don’t; it just makes them passive-aggressive, which is even worse. Conjecture is like masturbation; we could probably do both of them all day and enjoy it.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Well, you got some work to do if just an off the cuff comment like that made you upset. And you tipped your hand to your GF by actually TELLING her that she was able to upset you. She now KNOWS that you are an insecure person. You might as well break it off with her now.
Predictions: She will now TEST YOU to see how deep the fault lines of your insecurity are. She will challenge your sexual prowess or size or compare you to someone else SUBTLY, and watch for your reaction. Given your level of insecurity (that you would actually break up with someone for a remark), you will fail the test and further kill any attraction that she has for you. She may drag it on a while, because she seems like a nice girl who cares about you. But she’ll move out in six months or so after you continue to kill the attraction with your rampant insecurity. Or she’ll tag you as a beta and want to settle down and marry you.
You need to fix this. (meaning your insecurity, not the relationship - that damage is already done)[/quote]
A little confused here, isn’t it good that the OP brought it up with her? Rather then letting that comment go unchallenged?
If she wanted a loaded boyfriend she wouldn’t be with you, right?
The other guy is wealthy, so what? Fuck it. Personally I’d be more pissed off if the boyfriend was 29 and had that kind of money. He’s fucking 41, worked hard and it surely took him years to get his fortune. So there’s nothing to be envious or fucking insecure about. You’ll get there too some day if you put your ass into it. Just tell yourself, ‘fuck his lambo! In 10 years from now, I’ll have the fucking T1O 650 or whatever superpower car they’ll make in the future.’
Focus on making your relationship work. Not all women are after money. Your gf chose to be with you. She’s aware you’re working hard to make a living and that you ain’t a useless son of a bitch. She respects that. She realized she hurt your feelings and has apologised. A materialistic girl would have packed her bags and say something like, ‘well, well well, good thing my girlfriend showed me what I’m missing!!! Goodbye, loser!!!’.
She is with you.
You may be a carpenter today but tomorrow you may end up a fucking king. Just get out there and make it happen. Stop fucking feel sorry about yourself and your lack of dough.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
But she’ll move out in six months or so after you continue to kill the attraction with your rampant insecurity. Or she’ll tag you as a beta and want to settle down and marry you.[/quote]
So, they will either break up or get married at some point.
[quote]markdp wrote:
I guess it is also just hard to contemplate making that kinda money.
[/quote]
Stop trying to contemplate other people’s money.
[/quote]
Or more importantly how the fuck is it hard to contemplate making that type of money? Fuck it’s not like the dude is bill gates or buffet or anyone else on that level.
You asked a young woman (21ish) who has not been on her own, move in with you after 5 months… and, AFTER you’ve gotten out of a long term relationship?
[quote]imhungry wrote:
You asked a young woman (21ish) who has not been on her own, move in with you after 5 months… and, AFTER you’ve gotten out of a long term relationship?
Im 26, been a homeowner since i was 24 and my girlfirend has lived in my house for the past 5 months. I may be going against the grain here but assuming she understands how a mortgage works she has a right to be irked.
First, if you cant afford the house on your own, you shouldnt have bought it, and if she wasnt living with you and you wouldnt replace her with a rent paying roomate you are collecting income from your girlfriend plain and simple. If you are trying to justify it as her ‘paying her share’ of the mortage, well why should your girlfriend pay down part of your mortgage that you get to keep in equity? You want her to help out, have her pay her share of the utilities, extra groceries, cleaning service, etc, but dont profit off your girlfriend and then expect her not to question it when someone else puts the thought in her head that plenty of other guys wouldnt do the same.
P.S. just because a guy drives a Lambo and claims to make lots of money doesnt mean he is well off or even not buried in unsecure debt. Use your brain here, a lambo new costs close to 300-400k, if you make 1M, assuming its not all from Capital gains you are talking 500-600 after tax. What kind of person spends that much of their take home on a car that you can hardly drive? The kind of “rich person” that sleeps in someone’s guest room in stead of a hotel and dates a woman half his age while being her ‘sugar daddy’. Perception is not reality and dont let other people’s shiny thjngs ever let you question your own self worth.
[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
How do you have any idea how much this other dude makes? [/quote]
He is 40
his girlfriend is 21
He told her his income. She bragged abot finding a rich dude.
I see the old dude getting a 3 way soon and having himself a new pet to play with…OPs gf.