[quote]jsbrook wrote:
Princeton:
You see?!
You’re a little bit racist.
Kate Monster:
Well, you’re a little bit too.
Princeton:
I guess we’re both a little bit racist.
Kate Monster:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do…
Princeton:
But I guess it’s true.
Kate Monster:
Between me and you,
I think
Both:
Everyone’s a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn’t mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one’s really color blind.
Maybe it’s a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.
Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -
Kate Monster:
No!
Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
Kate Monster:
Right!
Both:
Everyone’s a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone’s a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They’re based on truth.
Don’t take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!
Princeton:
All right, stop me if you’ve heard this one.
Kate Monster:
Okay!
Princeton:
There’s a plan going down and there’s only
one paracute. And there’s a rabbi, a priest…
Kate Monster:
And a black guy!
Gary Coleman:
Whatchoo talkin’ 'bout Kate?
Kate Monster:
Uh…
Gary Coleman:
You were telling a black joke!
Princeton:
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
Gary Coleman:
I don’t.
Princeton:
Well, of course you don’t - you’re black!
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
Gary Coleman:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
Princeton:
Now, don’t you think that’s a little racist?
Gary Coleman:
Well, damn, I guess you’re right.
Kate Monster:
You’re a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman:
Well, you’re a little bit too.
Princeton:
We’re all a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.
Princeton/Kate Monster:
We’re glad you do.
Gary Coleman:
It’s sad but true!
Everyone’s a little bit racist -
All right!
Kate Monster:
All right!
Princeton:
All right!
Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white
All:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it’s wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.
Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.
Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
Princeton:
Who?
Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.
Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.
Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman:
No, I’m pretty sure that Jesus was black-
Princeton:
Guys, guys…Jesus was Jewish!
Brian:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Gary Coleman:
Racism!
Brian:
Cool.
Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!
Princeton:
What’s that mean?
Brian:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don’t laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?
Kate Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone’s a little bit racist.
Brian:
I’m not!
Princeton:
Oh no?
Brian:
Nope!
How many Oriental wives
Have you got?
Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!
Princeton:
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!
Christmas Eve:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!
Brian:
I’m sorry, honey, I love you.
Christmas Eve:
And I love you.
Brian:
But you’re racist, too.
Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I’m always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!
Princeton:
Me too!
Kate Monster:
Me too!
Gary Coleman:
I can’t even get a taxi!
All:
Everyone’s a little bit racist
It’s true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!
Christmas Eve:
Evlyone’s a ritter bit lacist[/quote]
Mr. T:
I pity the fool!