What to Do When You Stop Caring?

Off Topic
81

Spry

I was going to just pm you but then I saw your post count was at 666 and I thought it might be good to get you to post again and get off that “evil” number. LOL

What to do When You Stop Caring?

You don’t give up! You keep trying until you DO give a shit and you CAN turn the negative thoughts into positive actions. Before I expound on that I’ll first say that if you can’t get there on your own get counselling. If you feel it’s “bigger than you” or truly feel like giving up see a doctor about medication.

Spry, I’m 41 and I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! Guess what? I don’t care! : ) I don’t believe we have one single purpose. I have multiple goals and find I get way more from the journey than any destination or goal I have ever reached (or just reached for). I am not defined by my job, it is just one aspect of my life. I’ve had 3 very different careers so far and plan to have at least another 2.

What if your purpose in life is to simply enjoy it? To find pleasure, fullfillment, enjoyment, despite the negative, no matter what life throws at you? It’s certainly seems to be one of my purposes : ) The negative (painful) will always be there. But guess what! So will the positive (pleasurable)! IT IS A CHOICE! You choose what you will focus on, pursue, obtain and therefore perpetuate. Your experience of life is 100% up to you. That means you never have to be a victim! You are in control.

I don’t believe everything has a purpose. I believe everything is an opportunity. There is positive and negative in everything. Yin / Yang Yin and yang - Wikipedia Even the most horridly painful experience at some point will have some potential benefit.

It sucks how bad things can be sometimes but even that is a gift. You cannot fully experience and appreciate happiness without experiencing it’s opposite. Stop and really think about that. The feeling and sight of sunshine feels soooooo much better after a few cloudy rainy days.

Don’t let the bad times suck you in like the black hole they can be.

Keep trying to find the positive. You will see what you look for and what you focus on will grow. In other words when you find yourself thinking or feeling negatively do whatever you can (that’s healthy) to stop it.

Go lift heavy shit.
Listen to upbeat music.
Hug someone.
Talk to someone you like.
Read about someone you admire.
Eat good healthy food.
Get laid.

Anything that might put a smile on your face or release some good hormones. The more you look for things that make you feel better the more you will find. Stop to feel grateful for them once you find them. It will snowball. Just like the negative did, the positive will and the bigger it gets the easier it gets. It’s really just a habit. I can’t remember the numbers but I heard once that something like 90% of our thoughts, feelings, responses, etc. are controlled by our subconscious. That means only 10% is under our conscious control! The good news is you can use that 10% to consciously re-program your subconscious.

We are CAPABLE of logic but we are NOT logical! We are emotional creatures ruled by the oldest part of our brain. Fight or Flight. Our number one mission is to avoid pain and # 2 is gain pleasure. So like I said just above seek out healthy pleasures to avoid pain! ; ) Focus on what you want. Look and move forward towards it.

That’s just my opinion based on my experience. I know I went on a bit but I like to explain something 2 or 3 different ways because most (not all) people need that to get the point in the way you intended.

One last thing. I was recently reading up (google) on intermittent fasting (I know, never do it!) and end ed up at some guys blog. I was reading for hours before I realized who he was. Great blog. Lot’s of adventures and inspiration. Go for it! Explore and find your passions Spry!

EDIT: Addition Sept 8th
Check out Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel G. Amen
I stopped watching tv over a year ago. Had an urge to "see what’s on. He is on Detroit Public TV right now.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:
I’ve honestly always thought that CHOICE was the point of it all, not specifically the end result.[/quote]

There is no such thing as free will in your conception of it. Free will as you would define it is an illusion and isn’t worth wanting anyway.

83

[quote]IgneLudo wrote:
Professor X wrote:
I’ve honestly always thought that CHOICE was the point of it all, not specifically the end result.

There is no such thing as free will in your conception of it. Free will as you would define it is an illusion and isn’t worth wanting anyway. [/quote]

Are you speaking for me or yourself? Are you aware that some do believe that our concept of life didn’t just appear from random chaos?

Our concept of time itself is an illusion if you really want to get down to it so why would you think of “free will” as some concept without any confines at all?

In that case, none of us are “free” because we all adhere to the rules of the society we live in.

So, according to your own logic, there is no concept of “free”, period.

If you accept that the concept of “freedom” works within the confines of laws, then how could you avoid accepting that “free will” is the same?

If “free will” isn’t worth wanting as I would define it then “freedom” isn’t worth wanting as society defines it.

You aren’t making much sense.

84

[quote]Spry wrote:
Because I’m a funny bastard even when depressed.
[/quote]

The ability to see humor in everything is the only thing that will get you through the dark times. That, and Coen brothers films.

So, when you stop caring, fuck it, Let’s go bowling.

85

[quote]Professor X wrote:
IgneLudo wrote:
Professor X wrote:
I’ve honestly always thought that CHOICE was the point of it all, not specifically the end result.

There is no such thing as free will in your conception of it. Free will as you would define it is an illusion and isn’t worth wanting anyway.

Are you speaking for me or yourself? Are you aware that some do believe that our concept of life didn’t just appear from random chaos?

Our concept of time itself is an illusion if you really want to get down to it so why would you think of “free will” as some concept without any confines at all?

In that case, none of us are “free” because we all adhere to the rules of the society we live in.

So, according to your own logic, there is no concept of “free”, period.

If you accept that the concept of “freedom” works within the confines of laws, then how could you avoid accepting that “free will” is the same?

If “free will” isn’t worth wanting as I would define it then “freedom” isn’t worth wanting as society defines it.

You aren’t making much sense.[/quote]

I actually make a lot of sense. There is no concept of “free” as you are using it here. I never said there was.

No sane person believes that life “just appeared” from random chaos. Evolution explains how complexity can come from simpler starting conditions.

I’m not even talking about societal pressures acting on us, so I don’t know why you are bringing that in. There is no free will because the universe is deterministic. Even if it wasn’t deterministic, there is no reason to think that a “random” event, such as, let’s say, deciding to do something, is any more worth wanting than an event that is totally determined, such as, let’s say, deciding to do something.

Free will has confines, but they are subtle and not easily seen by people who have not actually explored the subject in some depth. Reasoning from those confines, which, granted, I have not specified, you can arrive at a lawful form of freedom. But very basically, you could be said to be “lawfully free” if you weren’t tied up to chair, even though all your decisions are preordained by past events. If you extend this concept you can elaborate on what it means to be lawfully free.

I’m speaking for everyone btw.

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[quote]IgneLudo wrote:

No sane person believes that life “just appeared” from random chaos.[/quote]

The Big Bang Theory has been eliminated?

[quote]
Evolution explains how complexity can come from simpler starting conditions. [/quote]

Yes, but it doesn’t explain how life comes from NO PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS.

[quote]

I’m not even talking about societal pressures acting on us, so I don’t know why you are bringing that in. There is no free will because the universe is deterministic. Even if it wasn’t deterministic, there is no reason to think that a “random” event, such as, let’s say, deciding to do something, is any more worth wanting than an event that is totally determined, such as, let’s say, deciding to do something.[/quote]

What?

Well then, what do you have a problem with?

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

The Big Bang Theory has been eliminated?
[/quote]
See, you specifically mentioned life, so I wasn’t answering questions about where the Big Bang came from. Pick which argument you want to pursue.

[quote]Yes, but it doesn’t explain how life comes from NO PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS.
[/quote]

See above.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

I’m not even talking about societal pressures acting on us, so I don’t know why you are bringing that in. There is no free will because the universe is deterministic. Even if it wasn’t deterministic, there is no reason to think that a “random” event, such as, let’s say, deciding to do something, is any more worth wanting than an event that is totally determined, such as, let’s say, deciding to do something.

What?
[/quote]

What what? You can ignore the red herring at the beginning of that paragraph if it interrupts your logical flow:

Then I argue that whether or not it’s deterministic, the free will you argue for isn’t meaningful, because it would ultimately mean that “the power to choose,” which you claim isn’t determined, would have to be random, and hence, MORE meaningless in the scope of things:

My bad. I might feel bad for not fleshing my arguments out if not for the fact that no one else here fleshes out theirs.

You asked if freedom had a meaning in the context of law if “free will as you defined it” doesn’t exist. I showed that it can and does have a meaning.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Free will has confines

Well then, what do you have a problem with?[/quote]

Free will as I am defining it. I already told you that your definition, the layman’s definition, is not worth wanting, principally, but also doesn’t exist in this reality.

I don’t see what’s so hard to follow here.

88

I am not really convinced that evolution OR SOMETHING LIKE IT cannot explain the Big Bang, assuming we had more information about it.

If you want to know why there is something rather than nothing that’s another, different, question entirely. One that’s answer should not be “god”.

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I wouldn’t expect a theory as to how life on this earth developed to this point could explain the creation of the universe.

Why would it?

90

You obviously know very little about evolution.

And I assume when you say, “creation of the universe” you are referring to our observable universe, not the entirety of reality. Who said the universe, or for that matter, the entirety of reality, was created?

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[quote]RSGZ wrote:
Lonnie123 wrote:
RSGZ wrote:
wfifer wrote:
Professor X wrote:

I don’t see why people who think that way aren’t depressed 24/7.

When I abandoned religion and all that, I made a conscious decision not to think about it. Agnosticism is cool like that. I plead ignorance and move on with my life.

Agnostics are the pussy versions of atheists.

Not really… Agnosticism answers the questions “Can it be known that God exists?” and Theism answers the question “Do you believe God exists?” then religion comes in and asks “Do you believe God has a personal interest in your life?”

I’d say most people are Agnostic when really questioned about it (Can it known/ Do you know that God exists?).

One can be an Agnostic Atheist(It cant be known and I dont believe. I’d say most atheist fall under this category), Agnostic Theist(It cant be known, but I still believe), or Religious.

Agnosticism is not the rung under atheism on a ladder, they are two different ladders entirely.

I was kidding.[/quote]

That pic is great!

92

[quote]IgneLudo wrote:
You obviously know very little about evolution.

And I assume when you say, “creation of the universe” you are referring to our observable universe, not the entirety of reality. Who said the universe, or for that matter, the entirety of reality, was created?[/quote]

You are way too impressed with yourself.

Too bad no one else is.

93

just an odd bit of trivia, but Edgar Allan Poe was the first person to write about the “Big Bang theory”

also the first person to use the term detective in regards to police work

94

I just wanted to add that the world seems a little better when its PAYDAY!

Too bad that day only comes around once a month…

95

Buddy,

Let me tell you my story. I was 19 when I lost my father. 23, when I lost my sister. 24, when my woman left me. 27, when I lost my brother too. I live with my mom and stepdad. My dad, brother and sister died of natural causes.

I’m 28, single…and happy to have a home and a decent car to get around. I used to smoke, drink…and get stoned occasionally…but that must have been a good 6-7 years ago. Since then, I’ve been training religiously (weights/cardio) at least 5 days a week, praying regularly, and have a job that I’m grateful for.

Take-home message: be very VERY grateful for the things you have been given in this life, you never know when you might lose them.

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im 23 i live at home with my parents no job , but hey school is starting next jan. i will get my emt cert this time round, i finally have a job lined up. i’ve been depressed for the last year i aint going to let this take me out

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[quote]Spry wrote:
What do you do when you stop giving a shit?

Seriously. I’ve got no idea.

I’m thinking of getting a helicopter pilot’s license since I’ve always wanted to fly.
This would not only send me broke but put me in debt to the tune of a year’s net salary.
I am really tempted but I don’t want to ‘run away’ from the real problem (myself).

Before you tell me to harden the fuck up let me say I already know that I should.

Does anyone else stay afloat in reality but feel like shit anyway?

I managed to graduate university (Information Technology).

I managed to get good employment (I’m earning more than many of my peers).

I started a law degree to relieve the boredom but I’m thinking maybe I’ll postpone this for a while…

I’m only 23.

Before when I felt like this (2 years ago) I started lifting weights. I try hard to turn my negative thoughts into positive actions.

I’ve lost my motivation to do this.

I always thought that those who desired to know ‘WHY’ we are on this planet were stupid - we just are.

Now I’m asking that same question.

Would love your thoughts. There’s a few older people on these forums with some insight now and again and I turn to you now.

(Yes. I’ve been drinking. For a while now, every night).

Cheers,
Spry.[/quote]

I get this way from time to time. Two of your comments strike a chord with me:

“I started a law degree to relieve the boredom but I’m thinking maybe I’ll postpone this for a while…”

and

"I always thought that those who desired to know ‘WHY’ we are on this planet were stupid - we just are.

Now I’m asking that same question."

I feel this way when things seem pointless. I have a lot, it sounds like you do too with your good job.

I also graduated in to a job better than many of my peers and was pretty lucky before that as well.

The pursuit of happiness and obtaining superficials is fun. It is nice collecting a great paycheck and turning it in to cool stuff with out worrying much.

But it doesn’t fill the human element in you. It’s like you go to work, do a great job, drive a nice truck to your nice condo, watch your HD TV, eat steak etc but it really doesn’t do anything for you outside of making you comfortable and buying you time to contemplate the meaning of it all, where the answer is probably never going to be defined.

At the end of the day you spent 9-5 earning a check. You drove a vehicle to a roof and four walls, you watched a show regardless of the screen and while comfortable it doesn’t fulfill anything outside of your basic requirements. Maybe your dinner tasted better than others, your floors are made of wood and your vehicle turns heads but you still are only covering basics with all of that.

In our twenties we are young, educated with a degree, our balls are full of testosterone and we want to conquer the world, make a visible difference etc.

The energy that makes you feel like you don’t give a shit has another side. Take the emptiness and instead of just giving up and chasing thrills, turn it to hunger. Climb the ladder at work.

I began managing others recently and it feels great. Not just the power but the fact you are making a difference in other’s lives. You have them for 40 hours a week, most of their waking lives. Make their working hours good and feel good about yourself too.

I once volunteered to help mentor a second grade kid with no father, a brother in jail and a single mom working two jobs and waitressing to make ends meet. He was getting in trouble, failing his classes blah blah blah.

After working with him in a classroom setting, his grades came up. With the exception of a C in math, he was making A’s and B’s by the end of the year. He had hope, he seemed happier and you could tell he really took ownership of his actions. He understood effort in created results good or bad.

It has been a few years, we email from time to time. I understand he still struggles with math but aces the rest of his classes. He does get in trouble from time to time but just normal mischevious stuff. I think he is going to be fine and that feels good.

Check out little things like that. Things that make a difference. It sounds corny but they will give you a purpose, a reason for “why” and the rest will just kind of happen.

98

Spry, I understand what you mean. I’m 26 and started off the year with a great assistantship, a wonderful girlfriend who supported me through months of academic/professional/financial struggles, and the promise of a masters degree on the horizon.

Fast forward to my father’s death in Mid-April. My relationship with my girlfriend gets a bit rocky, but it seemed as though we worked through it, even going on dates monthly and seeing each other as recently as last month. On top of that, I earned the masters, though it meant saying goodbye to the grad assistantship (best job I’ve ever had).

Little did I realize that the negative events were just a taste of what was to come. Employers ranging from gyms to retail outright refuse to give me a job; their responses range from “The position’s being filled as we speak” to “There’s really no point in you calling us again.”

To top that off, x-rays discovered a tumor near the base of my mom’s skull and in one of my sister’s breasts. To make a long story short, they’re alive and healthy, but I had to clean out my savings to do it.

As of late, the only thing I’m good for is being my grandmother’s busboy. All other reasons for existing have pretty much been snatched/mugged from me.

As for the girlfriend? Once the current semester started, she began distancing herself from me. She claimed she was also doing so with family and friends to cope with the stress of studying and the semester.

She began the week by publicly dumping me/declaring herself single, which she told me over AOL Instant Messenger was a “step towards personal success” for her…and then told me that I “had to respect [her]feelings.”

That’s all it took for womankind to win its 12 year battle for me to pull myself off the market, and then some. (The alternative is either being used or “thrown for distance,” so to speak.) I won’t be logging into Myspace or Facebook (The premiere social connector of my alma mater) ever again. Hell, I’ve even declared AOL Instant Messenger off limits.

I’ve been putting it into the bar…Ironically, my Platform Snatch-Grip Deadlifts have suffered (down to 295x3 from a PR of 335x3), but my Front Squat is up to a pathetic PR of 175x2.

I’ve basically been used up and discarded. I’ve had all optimism, faith, tenacity, even my supposed “youth” beaten out of me. it’s gotten to a point where the only reason I get out of bed is to go to my alma mater’s gym and lift…and that’s only 2-3 days a week.

It’s all added up to a point where I nearly cried this morning because 1. I woke up and 2. I wasn’t a stain on the pavement outside my grandmother’s apartment.

I hope my story makes you feel better in the “This is how you could be THAT much worse off” sense. Nowadays, it’s about the only thing I’m capable of.

99

silentnote, you should see if you can talk to someone at the university’s student health center. They can at the very least help you find some help. You sound badly depressed, and that’s probably playing into the other difficulties you’re having.

You don’t have to feel this way, there are concrete steps you can take to feel better.

100

I am both scared, proud and ashamed that this thread has resurfaced.

It is a little in the past by the way if you look at the timestamps.

That said, FormerlyTexasGuy I agree with you:

[quote]The energy that makes you feel like you don’t give a shit has another side. Take the emptiness and instead of just giving up and chasing thrills, turn it to hunger. Climb the ladder at work.

I began managing others recently and it feels great. Not just the power but the fact you are making a difference in other’s lives. You have them for 40 hours a week, most of their waking lives. Make their working hours good and feel good about yourself too.[/quote]

I’m doing this! Having people to manage is my next career move. I always was hungry at work.

Silentnote, sadly I’ve got nothing to tell you that would help. As others have said in this thread - get out there and solve the problem! Do something, anything positive with that negative energy.

On a happy note if you look at my latest thread things are looking up!

http://www.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/sex_girls_pictures_hot_pics_photo_women/if_you_had_a_daughter

And I’ve just taken on a more difficult assignment at work requiring travel.

Go team!