This I agree with whole heartily
I am, yes. And props for remembering the first āh.ā
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Nope, not close.
Losing a fight isnāt about the injury (also I should have said that the injuries should not be permanent or life altering- a mistake on my part for sure). That would be stupid, and would fall under the bragging that @dchris was talking about.
Itās about learning that youāre not invincible. It can save your life if youāre prone to thinking you can say what you want to whoever you want provided you get a nice ass whipping before doing it to someone who would snap and kill or maim you. It can protect girls from being left helpless and unprotected if a guy realizes that women arenāt condoms that can be ripped off your dick and discarded behind a dumpster, and that they have people who care about them. It might teach you things about yourself that you didnāt know.
Also- not talking about bullying or hitting your kids here. I donāt hit my kids. I donāt even spank, except the one time my 3 year old (then 2) tried to run into traffic. My kids arenāt teenagers yet though so maybe I havenāt had good reason to lay a smack down yet. I said some unforgivable shit to my dad when I was 14 and tried to step to him and ended up on the ground without knowing how I got there. Never before, never again.
Canāt help but feel like itās partially my fault. I derailed it.
I mentioned Thatās third worst thing Iāve ever done. Iām slightly smart enough to not publicly admit the other two things Iāve done.
One of the things Iāve always felt bad about was something I did to my best friend growing up.
He was highly allergic to poison ivy and I was not at all. Sometimes when we were out playing Iād grab a bunch and chase him with it. Heād run, Iād knock it off and all was well. So one day I grabbed a bunch of leaves off of a tree- totally Not poison ivy and chased him down with it and whacked him with the leaves a few times. It was all good once I showed him that it wasnāt actually poison ivy.
But it turns out he was also allergic to what ever it was I whacked him with. We went home and I didnāt see or hear from him for a couple of days until he called. Turns out he was in the hospital the whole time with this massive blistering rash that required medication and supervision and everything else.
I felt like a massive dick after that, and never did it again.
Nah, you gave us all something to think about.
I donāt care that you made up a word. I care that you believe buying someone an alcoholic drink, which they consume themselves, in full knowledge of what will happen (a legal act, assuming 18/21+), is drugging them (an illegal act).
I care because language can be sticky and it doesnāt take much for shit like this to spread. Before i know it, Iāll buy someone a drink who will do some dumb shit and Iāll be accused of drugging them
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Should @planetcybertronās brother go to jail (or atleast front court) for what he did?
It did go from bad to worse when he beat the guy up.
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According to the laws we have set in place, yes, he should have been tried in court for assault, and actually @planetcybertron would have been an accessory.
I also agree with you that nobody was ādruggedā. Itās about being a decent human, and itās also about the consequences of treating somebody indecently. If somebody murders my child, and is released for whatever reason, and I kill or hurt him, I am guilty and will be sent to jail. Doesnāt mean he doesnāt deserve it.
Youāre right, on pretty much every point, and I am glad there are those of us who disagree with me. The world could probably use more people who donāt make excuses for violence. I just donāt see things that way.
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Neither do I. Not everything needs to be handled officially, and sometimes direct feedback for a persons actions is more just than running it through the bullshit grinder that our court system can be.
That way there isnāt a bunch of wiggle room to justify a plight by blaming the courts, the judge, the prosecutor or the victim. Its just Something dumb= an ass whooping.
Clean and simple.
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It went from bad to worse when someone left an impaired 21-year-old in an alley after enjoying a ādateā with her. I suspect there would be not be a crime to charge on his end for leaving her, however, and even if there is a law against that, difficult to prosecute.
An alternative to charging him with something related to the danger he left her in would have been to charge him with rape in the morning when she woke and realized that A) she was lying behind a dumpster, and B) had had sex with someone who had sex with someone who was unable to consent. No lying would have been needed on @planetcybertronās part for this guyās life to tank over the incident.
I suspect he would probably have chosen the beating over fighting a rape case and having his name and behavior made public, given the choice, though personally my thirst for vengeance would be satisfied either way.
As for the brother, I would prefer he not be charged, but if he did wind up with an assault charge I think odds are good that he would walk or be reduced to something minor, but I donāt know his record and the courts are unpredictable, so who knows.
The thing is we have probably all bought a woman a drink because we want to have sex with her.
A bunch of us have probably brought a woman one drink too many and hoped it would lead to sex.
Some may have left soon or right after sex instead of staying the night.
Some of us might draw the line there but I suspect itās the dumpster part that justifies the beating for most here.
Iām sure though, that a bunch of us have left a drunk friend somewhere and thought it was a bit funny - definitely not worth a bit beating.
Thatās also okay because the sum is often wprse than the parts. But you see the problem right? Where do you draw the line on where immoral acts deserve a beating?
How about the woman who cheats, says she wonāt again knowing she is meeting the person again next week?
How about the guy selling retirees stuff he knows they donāt need.
The guy who makes racists ājokesā that their ethic neighbour can overhear.
The āfriendā who hangs around with their other friend whoās brother might help their career, then never speaks to them again when their career takes off.
There are infinite scenarios and everyoneās stomach turns at different spots. You might find yourself doing something that someone believes justifies a beating one day. They might even follow through because they know a thug.
Donāt disagree with you there. Saw a guy blow away a scumbag who molested his kidā¦ infront of cops and thought Iād hope I would do the same.
I also accept that he had to go to jail for that (with consideration given to the circumstances)
Her situation is so, incredibly, utterly different than that, in every way, shape, or form. Sorry for the adverb overload but I canāt stress how much I disagree with this enough.
This was literally the next sentence:
āThatās also okay because the sum is often worse than the partsā
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Ya know, thereās been a lot of talk about the brother beating the guy up, but how would this situation look if things had ended badly?
Iām from a little redneck country town. I can think of less than 10 houses I know that do not have some type of firearm, with most having multiple. Guns can be very quickly accessed in my house, if Iām not carrying. If someone were to attack my in my front door, he is getting shot. Either by me, one of my family members, or any of my neighbors who I am positive would use violent force on my behalf (as they have demonstrated to me before, buddy came by drunk at 2am trying to convince me to hang out and nearly got shot by a Korea vet).
Personally, Iām morally okay with what her brother did. A man does that to my sister, I would want to hurt him. But it also escalated the situation and honestly, if the brother was was on someone elseās property and there was even a single witness who could attest that he had thrown a punch, thereās little that could be done in a criminal case that would establish guilt should the brother end up shot.
Maybe thatās why southern hospitality is a thing. Bunch of country boys just trying not to get shot haha
Yup, didnāt read it properly. Understand what you meant, sorry for jumping on that.
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It would be stupid to think Iām invincible.
I lost some fights but I was never beaten up. I fought in a ring against friends who were much bigger than me. It was more of a game than real fight.
And there were times when I was attacking for real, usually people who would try to fight my friends or bully me or drunk idiots unwilling to let my sister alone or something like that.
I would usually attack them without warning, sometimes headbutt their nose when they talk into my face, or hit them in their nuts with my kneeā¦
But today Iām not a teen anymore, and Iām also not really going out anymore or any shit like that.
I also donāt want to fight anyone, and I donāt plan to fight anyone.
If it happens that someone wants to fight me at all costs and wonāt let me go without a fight - Iāll use my knife, and thereās high chance that heāll regret his decision. And by my countryās law I wonāt be doing anything wrong.
Iād be curious to know if this is true for people posting on the board. Thatās a thing Iād never do, nor my friends. Not now, not at ages 16 or 21, despite my friends not always being especially noble. I would have been shocked to have found myself in that position or to hear of it happening to someone else.
Yes. Yes, itās different because the first three are mutual choices, freely undertaken on both parts. You sleep with a guy you donāt know, you may find him less than attentive afterward. You shrug and either change or donāt, but itās all on you. This assumes the man is simply buying drinks and not pushing them or making them stronger than she may realize or be able to handle.
When you leave someone you know, even if only well enough to ask them out, cab them to the bar, and buy them drinks (which seems quite a lot, doesnāt it? this was no stranger hook-up), by the dumpster behind the bar after fucking her. Whether male or female, if you leave someone in that condition youāve left them to be rolled or raped or dragged off to jail. It crosses an absolute line, the line between the most basic human decency and sociopathy. So thatās where I draw it, I guess.
I guess the offense is in the eye of the beholder. You con my grandma, Iām going to be pretty upset. If itās just bullshit and she can afford it, āupsetā would be the end of it. You leave my grandma impoverished and ashamed, and Iām escalating. Iāve never beat anyone up and would not arrange something like that even if I could, but if I hear a story of someone else doing it Iām probably not going to judge them poorly. You take your chances when you con someone, no? And here again we have a lack-of-basic-human-decency situation the courts have trouble managing.
A guy making racist jokes his ethnic neighbor can hear should expect trouble, in my opinion. Heās either looking for it or a fool, but Iām far more disgusted that heās making the jokes than that Joe next door strolled over and punched the guy in the face.
Your other scenarios deserve that the wrong-doer be avoided, and that the wronged become better judges of character. But in the two I feel would reasonably warrant a response, the wronged are not part of a mutually sustained relationship with an asshole, theyāre simply wronged, and on purpose.
I think I would not, to be honest, because I tend to be able to hit the fairly low bar of ābasic human decency.ā I mentioned talking poorly about people in the grocery store upthread, and having their son overhear me. That day I did not hit the basic-decency bar. Itās hard to imagine being beat up at the grocery store, but had there been a negative consequence of some sort I would have deserved it, assuming proportionate response.
Youāre not wrong, and it has been discussed. It certainly could have ended even more badly than it did. Just dumb bad luck that the guy asking Cyber out on a date was depraved, just dumb good luck that her brother didnāt kill the guy or get picked up for the assault.