You got to give the guy credit for trying…but there is this guy at the Gold’s I lift at who is the FATTEST dude I have ever seen. The guy is like 6’ and has to be at least 400lbs. I’ve never seen him lift anything heavy at all. But his gym attire is what gets me. Sweatpants and a t-shirt. Except his gut(I shit you not)hangs half way to the floor! When the guy sits down at the shoulder press machine his gut rests on the seat. When he walks it hangs out from under his shirt. It’s fucking nasty. The guy has been there for at least 8 months and I don’t think he has lost any weight. And he sweats like an Eskimo in Arizona in July.
And I too have seen my fair share of nekkid old fat hairy guys, but I think I got the rest of you beat. I walk into the locker room after my workout to change. And I see said old fat hairy guy, with one leg up on the stool, ball sack in one hand, other hand was playing with his asshole. By pure reflex I let out a “What…the…fuck?”. The guy kind of giggled and smiled(HOW FUCKING CREEPY IS THAT!!!). Needless to say I grabbed my shit and got the fuck out of Dodge. I now change at home and don’t set foot in the locker room.
In my gym the staff helps out w/ cleaning, just to keep things up. I walked out of the bath bathrooms one day and noticed some nitwit had smeared a BOOGER on the wall. What the hell???
I’m very thankful the worst I’ve seen at my gym is simply a naked guy walking from the shower to the locker. I used to think that was bad (put on a towel you bastards!) but now I’m just thankful.
There are two guys in my gym that do squats in the Smith Machine, with their feet a good 2 feet forward of where you would place them normally to do squats. They are leaning back at about a 15 degree angle, and doing squats?
Is this strange, or am I just ignorant to a good training technique?
[quote]chinadoll wrote:
Once I saw a large poop on the floor by the free weights during these wee hours. Hmm. Then a couple days later I see a sign asking for any information regarding a serial turd leaver in the gym.[/quote]
This cracked me up, Chinadoll! Maybe I’ll adopt this strategy to keep people away from the pec-decs…
On Saturday guy comes into the gym. Pretty well built short guy, about 5’6".
Weating a headress like an Arab, Parachute pants and army jacket. Just looks odd. Sits in the locker room and talks to himself for about 30 mins. I left and came back to grab my bag. Now he’s rapping with another guy. He’s telling the other guy that it is his destiny to “smite the evil doers” especially the “Egyptians”. The other guys is trying to say, “what do you mean smite”. He starts going off about his strength and power. Next thing you know two cops come into the locker room. They ask the guy to step outside with them. He immediately drops the deep voice and talk of “smiting”. Askes them what is going on. They say they want to talk to him about his “smiting talk”. I don’t know what this guy was on but it was wacky.
I left thinking it was the most fucked up think I ever saw at this gym.
I had the woman that works the front desk come into the locker room when I was changing to, as she said, make sure all the lockers doors were shut so I wouldn’t bang my head on them. Now, if you are asking why I didn’t hit it while she was in there? She is just plain nasty. She is a personal trainer, and has a fat ass, sausage arms, and a big mouth. Lately, her boyfriend has been coming in, and they play grab ass, for everyone to watch. I don’t think she has been training him, because he is a lightbulb. I watched him do 2 sets of leg extensions the other day, and then go stand in front of a mirror and pull up the legs of his shorts and flex his legs. I swear, I have bigger upper arms than he has legs. Skinny white french fries. I would be ashamed to look like that.
About once every 2 weeks, there is this thing, I don’t know if it is a man or woman, but it comes in, does a set of dumbell curls, gets a coke out of the machine and leaves. It is bald, has a set of boobs, sorta acts like a woman, but looks like a man. There was this big guy doing arm work one time when this happened, and he stopped in the middle of his set and just stared. It was so funny I just busted out laughing.
“And I too have seen my fair share of nekkid old fat hairy guys, but I think I got the rest of you beat. I walk into the locker room after my workout to change. And I see said old fat hairy guy, with one leg up on the stool, ball sack in one hand, other hand was playing with his asshole. By pure reflex I let out a “What…the…fuck?”. The guy kind of giggled and smiled (HOW FUCKING CREEPY IS THAT!!!). Needless to say I grabbed my shit and got the fuck out of Dodge. I now change at home and don’t set foot in the locker room.”
[quote]IL Cazzo wrote:
“And I too have seen my fair share of nekkid old fat hairy guys, but I think I got the rest of you beat. I walk into the locker room after my workout to change. And I see said old fat hairy guy, with one leg up on the stool, ball sack in one hand, other hand was playing with his asshole. By pure reflex I let out a “What…the…fuck?”. The guy kind of giggled and smiled (HOW FUCKING CREEPY IS THAT!!!). Needless to say I grabbed my shit and got the fuck out of Dodge. I now change at home and don’t set foot in the locker room.”
–But if you do that, then the Gay Terrorists win.[/quote]
So, lemme get this straight. He was jigglin, gigglin, AND flickin his starfish?
That’s out of control… I call Analogkid the winner.
Just saw this today. My boy and I were in the sauna at the pool. A woman, musta been 250 - 300 lbs comes in. The sauna has three tiers to it. My boy and I are on the bottom level. She’s breathing hard after opening and coming through the door. She makes this big production of turning around, and somehow getting up on all fours to get on the bottom level, so she’s got her ass aimed right at our faces. And this ass is about the size of four or five normal human asses. This takes her about a minute to do. But she’s not satisfied with this, she has to go to the NEXT level. By now, she’s panting like she’s just run a marathon. And sure 'nuff, she goes for level three. So she flops herself up onto level three, like a whale beaching itself, and lays there like she’s fucked a football team. She was still laying there when we left. I think she mighta been dead.
I saw a guy pull the pin out of a pulldown machine stack (he assumed the bar was counterweighted) and the bar came down and cracked him right on the top of the skull. Ah,…wait…that was me…
Before I built my home gym, I used to go to the local “Y”. The steam room there was always full of old, naked guys shaving, right next to a huge sign that said “please do not shave in the steam room”. I saw an old dude giving himself an all-over body shaving, including the prune sack and butt-crack…He stood up and spread his cheeks and…augggghh…ran that disposable razor between his cheeks.
Maybe I’ll adopt this strategy to keep people away from the pec-decs…