Alrighty then, now that most of the hubbub over whether or not I’m a chick and have the right to talk about whatever I please has died down, let’s get back to the fun stuff… (can you tell I’ve got some interesting stories to tell?)
Some of you may remember my girlfriend (had a fight with her BF over her having a dream about another guy) and that she stayed with me for a few days. Well, they got back together a few days later and now a fun new thing has cropped up.
She’s propositioned me.
Now, to tell you this came as a complete surprise is an understatement. She’s told me about the one time she “experimented” with a woman and that she couldn’t get beyond the kissing/fondling stage because it just didn’t feel right and didn’t turn her on. She’s claimed up and down that she’s not into chicks at all and even will avoid most Ladies’ Nights because of the high number of bi and/or lesbians. She is into the “show” of it all though when we go dancing, and she’ll often want to “out do” any other chicks on the floor. I guess I never thought anything of this because I have a fairly well tuned gaydar and it sure as hell doesn’t even hum around her.
So anyway, we were hanging out at the house, enjoying a beverage (that Michelob Ultra with 3g of carbs and 100 calories isn’t that bad when you’ve not had any booze in quite a while) and out of the blue she asks me if I’d sleep with her. I was completely flabbergasted, caught off guard and asked her why she’d said that and she comes back with this “I feel so close to you and if I ever did this, I’d want to do it with you” thing. Luckily, the friends we were expecting knocked on the door just then - talk about saved by the bell!
I never got around to answering her and she’s not brought it up since. But it got me thinking about a couple of comments she’s made over the last few months that I totally dismissed. Apparently, she’d been hinting at this and I’d taken it as a joke and now that she’s stated it very clearly - I gotta wonder WHY?! Why would a girl that’s experimented before and disliked it enough to avoid places with bi/lesbians suddenly decide she wants to try it again? What is it that makes a chick do a 180 like that? I can’t imagine a guy pulling a similar 180 - so what is it with women? Any of you know of chicks doing a similar thing?
I remember reading somewhere (have no idea how reputable it was) that there is a certain amount of homosexuality in all species. Some animals will pair with a same sex animal and attempt to procreate (Example used was some Antarctic bird. Two females will “mate” and actually lay eggs but the eggs never get fertilized and hatch even though the two are incubating away). The thing I read said it was some sort of natural evolutionary population control thing and that a higher percentage of females of any given specie engage in this activity than males.
I think it has something to do with you, and you only. I know this is a total duh response, and I’ll get flamed for it, but the thing is, there’s probably something about you she likes that she doesn’t see in other women. Hey, you beat out the competition in other women, so you should feel flattered. Good job!
Can this be anything other than a message to generate replies of “Do it! And post pictures!”
As for the women thing, a few years ago, as one of my best friends was in surgery, my wife (fiance at the time) and I were waiting with his wife (they’re now divorced) in the lobby. For some reason, the whole subject of lesbianism came up, and she said, “If something happened to [husband] and I found the right woman, I’d be willing to experiment.” Now this hit me totally out of left field. I’d joked to others that this couple was one I considered most likely to try a three-some, but this wasn’t expected AT ALL. So no, I don’t understand it either.
Here’s my take. She was obviously interested in experimentation before, but for whatever reason she didn’t enjoy it with other women. So, since she seems to trust you, and is probably attracted to you, it sounds like she’s willing to give it another try. So I don’t think she was put off by the experience before, per se, just put off with who she was with.
Actually, this has nothing at all to do with whether or not I should sleep with her or not…I’m not physically attracted to her at all. She’s a great girl and a great friend but I couldn’t DO her. I wanted to put some of the background up for you guys because I don’t understand what makes an otherwise completely straight girl decide to try the girl-on-girl action, AGAIN, after a so-so experiment years ago. I know I’m going to get the obligatory “Go for it and take pictures” thing but that wasn’t the point.
[1] It could come down to something as simple as “you’re an attractive open person and your gender is completely irrelevant”. This is the case with a lesbian couple who are friends of mine. One is lesbian, the other loves her, that’s all there is to it.
[2]It could be a rebound thing, except instead of bouncing from man to man and dick to dick [if she seeks sex as security] she’s decided to bounce to you who she sees as safe, affirming etc. It could be that she’s had no luck with men in achieving what she wants in a relationship/ sex. Assuming of course you believe that sex is also about intimacy and not just fucking.
[3] The past is the past, maybe she just wants an itch scratched. Obviously, you’re open to the idea of having fun no matter what plumbing is attached and she wants to try things in a “safe environment”.
First off, I want to mention that I’m 100% straight. With that said, I actually have a lot of gay friends. I’m even an honorary member of the gay community (or so I’m told). And I’ve come to learn that a majority of homosexuals subscribe to the sexuality scale theory. Furthermore, no one is 100% gay/straight, and we’re all on the scale somewhere. 80% straight, 20% gay, for example. While I buy the sex scale theory, I don’t buy the the 'no one is 100% straight/gay’part of it. There’s billions of people on this planet. You’re trying to tell me not one of them is 100% straight/gay?
To test my theory, I actually questioned some of my gay friends. One thinks pussy is absolutely the most disgusting thing ever concieved and has never been aroused by women. Another guy, while gay, has no problems banging the occasional chick.
Sorry to hear about your experience, and it’s ok to feel weird and confused about the whole thing. If one of my gay friends hit on me, I’d feel exactly the same way.
My Weak Advice: assuming you’re uncomfortable with the idea, you can choose to not bring it up or attempt to talk it out with her. I guess it would depend on the value of the friendship. If she’s one of your best friends, I think you should talk it out and let her know you’re not interested and to PLEASE not take it personally. If she’s a bit lower on the friendship scale, let the whole thing slide and hope for the best.
I think youv’e answered your own question,you said she has experimented in the past.Wether or not she had a bad experiance when she tried women is irrelevant,the fact is that she has a sexual attraction to the opposite sex,she is bi-sexual
I’ve seen more than one girl: date loser guys, get very bitter, date loser girls, get screwed over, start dating guys again, have good sex, and now highly highly prefer guys
Well well well…I think I deserve a blue ribbon, I did predict the whole ‘hot lesbian action’ thing in the original thread…I’ll just go pat myself on the…um…back…yeah…
I’m not sure if this has been brought up yet . . . or if anyone has even thought of it . . . probably not, but – DO IT, TAKE PICTURES AND POST THEM HERE, DAMMIT!!!
Don’t worry about why. Some people like feet. Some people like “bears” that were mentioned on another post. Sexual attraction can be very complicated, and often not fully expressed in people, thus the “closet”. Some of the most homophobic guys are actually the biggest homosexuals. She hit on you. Just make sure it isn’t her boyfriend trying to get you with them for a threesome by getting her to prep you for it.
And while we’re at it, I’m thinking there are some people around here that would like you to post some pics on the pic page recently developed. It would help you in two ways: 1) The ones turned on by your stories would be even moreso if they could connect a face and body to their thoughts and 2) Your naysayers would have to shut up if you posted some pics to “prove” your identity. Just thought you might want to consider that.
Iscariot: Regarding point #2:She definitely considers emotinal intimacy and sexual satsifaction one and the same, but she knows I am quite different. While I am most satisfied by being intimate with someone I love dearly, I also very much enjoy the “thrill of the hunt” and enjoy the purely physical aspects of sex; that is not about emotional connection for me. Regarding point #3: Yes, I’m thinking the “safe environment” her the angle.
Chris F.: I am not uncomfortable discussing this with her and seriously doubt it’ll have any negative impact on our friendship - just haven’t had the opportunity crop up. I’m rather accustomed to women hitting on me and so that part of it doesn’t make me uncomfortable either. I’ve had bi friends (and strangers) proposition me before and after expressing my change of interest, they kept at it and I’ve quit associating with them because of it. I don’t see that happening here though. What was confusing for me was the switch from serious dislike of the same sex thing to the proposition. The flip-flop flung me.
Jared: Thanks for the concern, but I’m not exactly “worried” about it. The situation just presented something I’ve not dealt with before - the whole change of attitude deal. Regarding the threesome thing, I seriously doubt it. Her BF knows I dislike him and he’s a very jealous and insecure man to boot. But then, I didn’t see this coming so maybe that’s more of a possiblity than I would have thought. Who knows. I’m not going to lose any sleep over it by any means. As for the pics, I don’t have any recent body shots and a head shot was posted in the Reader Mail section. I’m going skiing at Lake McConaughy next weekend so I may have some good pics from that to share.
A friend of mine also drinks the Michelob Ultra since he started getting in shape and cutting the carbs. But I still have a problem with it. How can something that says it only has 2 grams of carbs and 2 grams of protein still have 100 calories (isn’t it actually 96 calories)? Yep, I think there are some hidden carbs in that beer that they aren’t telling you about because it doesn’t make sense where the extra calories would come from. So I don’t think your Michelob Ultra is as good as you thought. But it is lower in calories than other beers. Just an observation.
As for your friend, who knows. Some girls (and guys) feel more comfortable about certain friends that they would feel fine experimenting in a homosexual way with them. So it’s probably the fact that you two have been friends, she’s comfortable and close to you and probably attracted to you. No big deal. But since you are not attracted to her, it’s not worth experimenting just because she wants to do it with you. Also, how does her man feel about this? Is he okay with his girlfriend hooking up with another girl? He may not like that idea, or he may like it. But maybe he should be brought into the conversation.
I think it has to do with the basic sexual differences between men and women.
For men, sex is more about a physical thing. Where women are concerned, sex is more of an emotional thing. It could be that she was feeling emotional about her whole situation and from your post it seems that you are really a good friend to her(or partner in life) so the next logical step in her mind was physical expression of her emotions for you at that time.
Jared you said"Some of the most homophobic guys are actually the biggest homosexuals"I am not homophobic or am i defending homophobia but i hate when people use this argument against homophobic individuals becuase it is a stupid argument.I read in a pyschology textbook that homophobic indiviuals in a study had a greater seaxual reaction to gay material then non homophobic individuals,when hooked up to equipment to judge their sexaul arousal.So according to the study it was true that homophobic individauls might be more latently homosexaul,but this does not mean their gay,thats ridiculus,just because someone is subconsinsly gay or anything does not makethem gay unless they are consiously aware of their feelings toward the same sex.Who knows,subconsiusly i might have the desire to kill someone or steal,but this does not make me a murderer or a theif,or another example that does not compare homosexaulity to a crime is maybe subconsiusly i might have the desire to ugggggg, paint myself green(i couldn’t think of any good examples )it doesn’t mean I’m green.
Okay, I don’t have much time, so I’ll go after your most obvious mistake. You mentioned a study that said that homophobic people were more sexually aroused when shown homosexual images, or whatever. Okay, if I’m a guy, and another guy walks in the room, and I get a chubby, I am either gay or bisexual, no matter if I have ever slept with a man or not. Get it? I think you missed the whole point of what gay is - it is what you are attracted to, not what you actually fuck. I’ve never fucked Britney Spears, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Or, as a truly straight man, I could be forced to be fucked by another man in the ass. Does that make me gay because I performed a gay act? Hell no. Sexual orientation is about what you are attracted to, not the realization of your attractions. So the study you mentioned kind of shot yourself in the foot. What I hope you were trying to say is that being homophobic does not necessarily mean you’re gay, and I completely agree with that. But it’s quite surprising who turns out to be gay. Make some gay friends, enter the gay community, and you might have more of an idea about what’s going on. My best friend turned out gay. I had known he was bisexual for awhile, but I figured he was just a pervert (I can’t say that I don’t like some strange stuff myself, so I couldn’t really look down on him). It’s amazing how many married men he’s fooled around with. Fathers. Just like your father. I don’t want to disgust anybody further, so I’ll shut up.
