My best friend of over 20yrs shit on me while I was going through my divorce. He was feeding my ex-to-be all of my “strategy” info and everything my lawyer and I were discussing.
I gave him a courtesy call informing him that ever even setting foot in my zip code would be at his own peril…unforgiven
[quote]Yogi wrote:
If someone touches my belly button they’re dead to me. I am 100% serious.[/quote]
Gonna give me some tears fat boy
Of course, serious stuff that hurts just to think about considering.
From experience if someone insults my food, home, or clothing, right away I know I never need to see that person again.
[quote]dallas fan 15 wrote:
My best friend of over 20yrs shit on me while I was going through my divorce. [/quote]
did any of it get in your mouth? That’d be that last thing you’d need when going through a divorce. Eewww
[quote]MattyG35 wrote:
[quote]Yogi wrote:
If someone touches my belly button they’re dead to me. I am 100% serious.[/quote]
Gonna give me some tears fat boy[/quote]
LOL!
[quote]marrot wrote:
From experience if someone insults my food, home, or clothing, right away I know I never need to see that person again.[/quote]
These seem really petty. If you have a friend over for burgers and he says they weren’t the greatest and the Crocs you’re wearing are gay, you’re no longer friends?
[quote]Will207 wrote:
[quote]marrot wrote:
From experience if someone insults my food, home, or clothing, right away I know I never need to see that person again.[/quote]
These seem really petty. If you have a friend over for burgers and he says they weren’t the greatest and the Crocs you’re wearing are gay, you’re no longer friends? [/quote]
<Looks inside marrot’s fridge for a beer…>
“Yo man, your spinach is starting to wilt. You gotta eat this stuff soon.”
[quote]Will207 wrote:
[quote]marrot wrote:
From experience if someone insults my food, home, or clothing, right away I know I never need to see that person again.[/quote]
These seem really petty. If you have a friend over for burgers and he says they weren’t the greatest and the Crocs you’re wearing are gay, you’re no longer friends? [/quote]
I assume (although perhaps I shouldn’t) that he is talking about something slightly more offensive than the pretty lighthearted ribbing you described.
I grew up “middle class” in a snooty and rather wealthy suburb. At the time, I was blissfully unaware of some of the general shittiness of most people around there, because I had/have great parents who managed to provide tremendously for my brother and I without turning us into entitled little shits.
Growing older, I’ve since heard some amusing/disturbing stuff about my former classmates or kids that were within a few years of me in school. Maybe this is just typical rich-person stuff, but 25-year-olds with trust funds and yachts that refuse to drink anything but $100+ Cabernet because other wine is “beneath” them, or make rude comments about someone wearing a $200 suit instead of their $5,000 suit, or ask about your watch just so they could tell you about their $30,000 Rolex…honestly, that stuff would be an “I don’t really care to be friendly with that person” moment for me.
I actually remember an “incident” when I was in college, home for the summer, working at the local playground. Two little boys (like, 10 years old) got into a shouting match, which included the one telling the other that he was poor because his parents didn’t have a beach house and his parents had two. Now, those were just little kids, but I’m sure that little kid didn’t come up with it on his own; that trickled down from Mommy and Daddy. And, as I got to know the Mommy and Daddy of that special snowflake better, I realized they’re the type of person who would do exactly what I’ve described above.
“Unforgivable” might be a little strong, though, I associate with things like “murdered a family member” or “assaulted a child” or “my wife slept with my brother” level offenses. But it probably would make me think “you know, I probably can leave that person out of my life and be no worse for the wear.”
I don’t think that’s really what beans was getting at with this thread, though, lol.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Are there things people can do to you (or someone close enough to you) that constitute an unforgivable offense?
[/quote]
I’ll tell you my line. As most of you know, I lost my first wife and my unborn son in a suicide bombing attack. The PLO sent in a retarded (Down’s Syndrome) boy and strapped bombs on him. He made a video that he was doing it because he would not be able to get married/have a future in their culture, and he was going to be rich in heaven and get 72 beautiful virgin wives by killing a bunch of Jews. (There are many such videos on youtube, if you care to look.)
It was actually pretty easy to forgive the boy, after a bit of prayer.
I have been unable to forgive the animals who wound him up, filled him with lies and hate, and put him on that bus. I would hunt and kill them as painfully as possible without any remorse.
I have become very active in getting jobs and futures for disabled kids, of all races, creeds, and colors because doing good channels my anger and hate into something G-d might better approve.
Using innocents to do evil. That’s my uncrossable line.
I hope to one day be able to forgive, and with G-d’s help, I know I can.
Great video Jewbacca, something must be wrong with my screen… getting blurry
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
I assume (although perhaps I shouldn’t) that he is talking about something slightly more offensive than the pretty lighthearted ribbing you described.
[/quote]
That would make sense. Generally the people who judge others based on the food they eat, clothes they wear, or the home they live in are terrible people. I can’t “forgive” these people because they cannot do me harm by being a shitty person.
The way I look at forgiveness is, if a person does something that really pisses you off, you have the choice on how you respond.
Just a few…
You could enforce some type of punishment on them, and after they receive their punishment move on and no longer hold onto any hard feelings about the transgression.
You could forgive them without any punishment, and depending on the person possibly go through the same thing again down the road of life when they do the same transgression because there is no consequence for their action.
You can forgive a person, and remove yourself from them. It can still be forgiveness. You are no longer mad at them. You don’t have any hard feelings towards them. You just aren’t going to invest any of your time with them. A very small example of this is walking through a crowded area. Someone bumps into you, a.) you could turn around talk shit and punch them in the face. b.) They could say ‘my bad’, and you respond with ‘no worries’. You both go on with your life without any mental hangup on what just happened. Another example is lets say a person is in a committed relationship and his girl cheats on him during a girls night out and somehow he finds out about it. Most likely there is going to be an confrontation, she might say she is terribly sorry. You could accept her apology, forgive her, and end the relationship. You are no longer mad at her, you don’t want her to suffer any punishment, you don’t want to be in her life anymore. But, you forgive her.
My whole point is forgiving someone is really, honestly for the person who was wronged. However you approach your forgiveness is up to you.
When I was young my mother became really good friends with a woman. She would come by the house a lot and everyone in my family really liked her. After a year or so this woman developed cancer and was really sick. My mom would go to her house and help her out for a few hours each day. She would drive her to doctor appointments, cook her meals, clean her house, and keep her company. My mother lost a really close friend to cancer a few years prior to this, so it was all familiar territory and she wanted to make sure her final days were the best they could be. When things got really bad, this woman even moved into our house for a couple months so my mom could take care of her around the clock.
After a while, some things weren’t adding up and my mom did some investigating which revealed this woman did not even have cancer and had been lying about the whole thing for the attention. This devastated my mom. She was furious that someone had taken advantage of her and exploited her compassionate nature. She still feels bad for spending time with this woman when she could of have spent it with her children. She ran into this woman many years later. They had coffee and she was forgiven. I doubt I could have done the same.
You’re mom is a saint, at least twice over.
[quote]aussie486 wrote:
Hurting kids, all bets are off with this.[/quote]
I agree. X2 all day.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Are there things people can do to you (or someone close enough to you) that constitute an unforgivable offense?
I imagine the answers to this will split along age and religious/non-religious lines but I’m curious.
Forgiveness. Is it ideal? Possible? Enlightening? A sucker’s play?
[/quote]
Forgiveness has a gray area as it’s generally understood, I think. For most I think people understand it as ‘letting go’, just forget about it and move on. But there are things you cannot forget about, even if forgiven. You cannot put yourself in harms way, for instance, by somebody who has proven they cannot be trusted at the most intimate levels.
You can forgive that someone in the sense where you are not going to seek revenge or vengeance for what they may have done to you or someone close to you. But you are obliged to distance yourself from them so they cannot harm you again.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
Also, the Imperius, Cruciatus, and Avada Kedavra curses.[/quote]
This pretty much
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]Facepalm_Death wrote:
I will forgive lots of things meaning I won’t hold a grudge over it, but I would still distance myself from people or cut them off completely if the offenses reveal them to be a generally toxic people that will do the same shit over and over again.[/quote]
[quote]BeefEater wrote:
It’s an interesting question. I think short of murdering, maiming, or molesting one of my loved ones there are not too many things I couldn’t forgive. This isn’t to say that I’ll forgive and forget and we’ll be chums but rather forgive in the sense that it allows me to move on from the offense. In this sense I am seeing forgiveness being not for the offender but the offended.[/quote]
Okay… But is that really forgiving them?
I guess, we’d have to define what forgiveness really means before we can tackle the original question, no?
I hear what you guys are saying, and have heard it before, but it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me. [/quote]
Well, coming from a Christian perspective, we’re told to basically forgive people’s offenses always. However, in order to both protect ourselves, and not enable others, repeat offenders are first to be confronted, then if they remain unrepentant, cut out of the church (that specific congregation, I believe). Forgiveness does not mean there are no consequences.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Are there things people can do to you (or someone close enough to you) that constitute an unforgivable offense?
[/quote]
I’ll tell you my line. As most of you know, I lost my first wife and my unborn son in a suicide bombing attack. The PLO sent in a retarded (Down’s Syndrome) boy and strapped bombs on him. He made a video that he was doing it because he would not be able to get married/have a future in their culture, and he was going to be rich in heaven and get 72 beautiful virgin wives by killing a bunch of Jews. (There are many such videos on youtube, if you care to look.)
It was actually pretty easy to forgive the boy, after a bit of prayer.
I have been unable to forgive the animals who wound him up, filled him with lies and hate, and put him on that bus. I would hunt and kill them as painfully as possible without any remorse.
I have become very active in getting jobs and futures for disabled kids, of all races, creeds, and colors because doing good channels my anger and hate into something G-d might better approve.
Using innocents to do evil. That’s my uncrossable line.
I hope to one day be able to forgive, and with G-d’s help, I know I can.[/quote]
I didn’t know the details, Jewbacca. So sorry for your loss.
And as a parent of a beautiful mentally disable child, it’s unconscionable that one of these kids would be used like that. These people are monsters with no value on human life.
I’ll try to keep this fairly short:
I’ve always been a pretty laid back guy, taking things as they come and trying not to get wound up about them. When my wife thinks I’m pissed, I usually call that annoyed. At the age of 38, I’ve never been in a fight outside the ring (barring a couple childhood put-each-other-in-a-headlock-and-swing-at-nothing-till-someone-stops-us type affairs). Not that I’ve ever backed down from a fight, stuff just doesn’t usually happen when I’m around.
So anyway. A couple years ago, I was playing church-league coed softball. We were playing against the only team in our league that was a serious challenge for us (I’m not a great player, I can hit good and field decent but I’m nothing special), and one of their players was That Guy. Pat (I found out his name after this happened) spent the entire game screaming profanities at our team, mainly at the girls (one girl in particular, who kept yelling back at him). His team (which included their church’s pastor and one of their associate pastors) did absolutely nothing to stop this, and the umpire claimed ignorance the whole time as well. Every time we complained, he said he wasn’t hearing anything (my wife was sitting behind the ump keeping score and could hear every word Pat screamed out).
Throughout the game, I was the one playing peacemaker, telling everyone to ignore him and let it go, and trying to get Alexis (the one girl who kept replying to him) to shut up as well. So, anyway. Game ends, we won. We walk out to shake hands and the whole ‘good game’ thing. I was near the front of our line, and when I reached the end and turned around, Pat and Alexis were just coming even with each other. She said something to him, and I watched him plant his hand on her face. She shoved him away and said something else I couldn’t hear, to which he screamed (yet again), “Hey, F*ck you!”
I lost my shit. I shoved through the lines toward him and started yelling. Apparently I am not the witty one-liner guy when I am pissed. I basically just yelled “Hey!” 3-4 times as I moved toward him. He saw me and tried to square up with me, but people from both teams started grabbing us. I then switched to “Watch your mouth!” a couple times, and then calmed down. Found out after the whole thing was said and done, my 12 year old daughter had been standing right next to me when I took off after Pat, and I basically knocked her down when I moved. Never even saw her, and couldn’t say who was around me when it all happened. I was just focused on beating some ass. Funny thing was hardly anyone saw him hit her (word did get around though), and my team was trying to figure out why I suddenly lost it after I’d been calming everyone else down the whole game.
Okay, so it’s not very short. Apparently a male (can’t call someone like that a man) hitting a woman is one of my big bugaboos.