TRT: Success after Many Fails, What I've Learned

I want this to be a straight forward post that isn’t a mile long and potentially helps others that are struggling. I come from a long history of bad experiences with TRT and feeling poor overall in the process. I also come from a past of heavy anabolic androgenic steroid abuse.

I was testing out at roughly 150 ng/DL which most of you know is terrible. Free test was also registering low. at this point I didn’t see how testosterone couldn’t benefit me. The science would agree that my body needed to figure itself out and get these hormones working and in the cells. I was weak, I was frail, it was not looking good. Mind you I am only going to be 31 years old.
I decided to take an unusual approach to get my body to respond properly to testosterone.
I began with 25mg twice a week. My body was so sensitive to change that even that tiny amount was giving me crummy feelings, but not unbearable. once this dose was tolerable I went to 50mg twice a week, and again my body felt off and crappy but I stuck it out. Currently I am at 75mg every 3 days and I feel much better overall. I am currently staying at this dose and will be re testing my blood work and making any adjustments that are necessary to be healthy.

My main complaints with taking testosterone originally was my mood/ cognition/ body felt worse during my attempts at TRT. My testosterone of choice this attempt was Sustanon. My reasoning for selecting this multi ester blend was a hope that one of four esters would hit my body the right way and get me above the 150ish Ng/dL hell I was in. Enanthate and Cypionate were not giving me anything worth writing home about and honestly my body just felt worse.

IMPORTANT: During most if not all of the time TRT was being problematic and not working, I was dependent on a benzodiazapine. Xanax or Klonopin to be precise. If you are having problems with TRT and are on a benzodiazapine, unfortunately you might have to consult your doctor about tapering off. It is horrible, it totally sucks but I did it and coincidentally TRT is now giving me the results I have been praying for. In only a short few weeks my workouts are way better. My appetite is high and erections are happening. Sex drive is also appearing. Lots of things we all really want. I find that leading this journey with how I feel and using numbers on paper as a guide is more productive than just the number. After all this is mostly quality of life we are looking for.

I hope all of you that have a deep longing for health get to where you want to be. Sometimes the truth is you will fail 999 times, and the 1000th time is the ticket. It is okay to get totally crushed and frustrated, I was MANY times. What is critical is that you keep trying to dial yourself in and do everything you can to get your body running right.

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So don’t take benzos is the main message?

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Benzos and ssri are known to destroy your libido, etc.

Benzos didn’t do anything to my libido or erectile quality. The SHTF when I came off.

I know that SSRIs mess with libido. That wasn’t my question.

While I appreciate the positivity and supportiveness effort in the OP, the only real take away I see there is he wasn’t doing good on benzos. He came off benzos and is now doing better. That’s it.

The benzodiazepine issue was only half of the problem. The other half was actually getting my body to accept testosterone. That’s why I began with a low amount of 25mg twice weekly and trying sustanon opposed to the typical cypionate. My body used to take over 1800mg without an issue. So the dosing/ frequency issue I’ve seen many times on this site had me wanting to leave some feedback. And yes positivity as well.

But you tried everything the same without the benzos involved? What’s the dose and frequency issues on here? And you titrated up with sus only? What doses did you try for every ester?