1.You can get big, or you can make excuses, but you can’t do both.
[quote]mertdawg wrote:
jjphenomenon wrote:
harris447 wrote:
- If you want to use straps, go ahead. If you want to use straps while you are bench pressing, you are a retard.
Nice
Really, I’ve seen pics of Metal Militia guys wearing straps to bench.
[/quote]
Why?
marking territory? I like it
[quote]deanosumo wrote:
No fat chicks.[/quote]
What the fuck dude there is a potential hottie under all that blubber! Give her a chance where else is she gonna get in shape?
But yes no spandex.
[quote]mertdawg wrote:
How about
If I just saved your ass trying to bench 135, don’t ask me to spot you with the same weight again for at least a week.[/quote]
Amen.
When using the sauna or steam room. If your gonna sit down wrap yourself in a towel or for fucks sake sit on it at least.
Dont step up on to a box six inches high to squat with shitty form…ask RITJared he saw it happen.
- Don’t Speak to me
- Don’t look at me
- Don’t put your shit on the bench/equipment if you’re not gonna use it
- If you and your partner are going to be spotting one another and are going to take long breaks between sets, take up only one fuckin bench/Rack. I hate those assholes who take up the only 2 (my gym licks balls)
squat racks for a half an hour when they can easily fit on one
5)don’t criticise someone out loud for how much weight they lift. (I have really long arms, so my bench is weaker than shit, but my legs have always been naturally strong and developed) About once a month or so i have to hear some fuckass pick on how much I’m benching and then i have to follow these long island lightbulbs around on their leg day and show them up, movement by movement, exercise by exercize. It’s exhausting, but it needs to be done. For their good of course.)
This is not technically a gym, but I think the rule has merits beyond the average squat rack…
This one’s for the average Tennessee Wal Mart shopper (she weighs about 300LB, by the way):
No farting when attempting a new personal best curl by picking up the mother-of-all ice cream cartons ready for a mid-afternoon snack. Especially after 5 Hardy’s Egg 'n Sausage Breakfast biscuits, please!
WiZ
TC had his version of gym etiquette in this Atomic Dog from 2001, called “Etiquette School”
[quote]Brendan B wrote:
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No slobbering, gumming your jaw, grinding teeth, drooling, spitting, or anything of that nature.
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No ripping ass; Simply no other way of putting it. I do not care hard your pushing; I do not want to smell your rotten garbage. If you have to drop the kids off, do; and flush it right away (I can not emphasis this enough).
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No intensive groping, fingering, or pinching, your ass for excessive amounts of time. Also, no scratching your balls. If you have a one time itch, itch it. If the itching persist go to the damn bathroom.
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If you are a lady, no teasing me while I am lifting. This includes sucking on your finger in a seductive manner, bending over revealing your butt crack in front of me, or pinching your rock hard nipples. If you feel you can not resist wait for me to finish my set, and do not be scared of the monster like object erecting from my shorts. You can kindly tease me all you want when I am done, and i can assure you I will not complain ; Just be sure to reserve a stall in the co-ed bathroom (one of the luxuries at my gym).
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No doing gymnastics in the free weight area. This is not a place for circus acts. This includes, hand stands and cart wheels (just to name the main ones).
[/quote]
Very funny. Especially your number 4 (I can not say how many times a week I have that happen to me).
Apologize about the last post. Brother on here messing around.
A few hits directed at specific people from my gym:
The guy that used to tag along:
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You’re not in kindergarten any more. Don’t try to prove to half the gym that you can count to ten. It makes those bigger AND smaller guys want to punch your face in, rip off your skin, and use your hollowed out skull for a toilet bowl, PLUS it just looks plain silly. ESPECIALLY when doing support rows with only 44 pounds!
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We all know how hard the strain of lifting your forearm, and placing your hand on that handle was, believe me. Add to that the pure torment of tightening your grip on said handle… We all like it when you make that “angry Sylvester Stallone” face, but it might seem less rediculous if you were to wait untill you effectively started your first REP.
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No grunting when doing support rows with 44 pounds damnit!
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Do your own fucking research or at least bug someone else. I don’t care if you forgot how to do your lunges!
Random morons:
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Keep your gay buddies at home, or at least disperse yourselves throughout the gym! Do NOT camp in one corner of the gym for 20 minutes, doing absolutely nothing!
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If after those 20 minutes it becomes apparent that the other inhabitants of said gym want you dead, don’t PRETEND to be training. I noticed one of them doing pec deck flies for half an hour (error of 1-2 minutes)
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To those who walk in, occupy the thread mill for an hour, get changed and walk back out the door, I have a question:
Why did you waste 50$ subscription and a good bit of my sanity to just do some basic jogging? That’s what parks are for. They’re free, use THOSE. Gyms are for lifting heavy metal things.
***IF YOUR OPINION OF ME IS THAT I AM ALWAYS A MISERBLE ASSHOLE, WHAT CAN I SAY YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME.
Pope
[quote]Zanroth wrote:
A few hits directed at specific people from my gym:
The guy that used to tag along:
-
You’re not in kindergarten any more. Don’t try to prove to half the gym that you can count to ten. It makes those bigger AND smaller guys want to punch your face in, rip off your skin, and use your hollowed out skull for a toilet bowl, PLUS it just looks plain silly. ESPECIALLY when doing support rows with only 44 pounds!
-
We all know how hard the strain of lifting your forearm, and placing your hand on that handle was, believe me. Add to that the pure torment of tightening your grip on said handle… We all like it when you make that “angry Sylvester Stallone” face, but it might seem less rediculous if you were to wait untill you effectively started your first REP.
-
No grunting when doing support rows with 44 pounds damnit!
-
Do your own fucking research or at least bug someone else. I don’t care if you forgot how to do your lunges!
Random morons:
-
Keep your gay buddies at home, or at least disperse yourselves throughout the gym! Do NOT camp in one corner of the gym for 20 minutes, doing absolutely nothing!
-
If after those 20 minutes it becomes apparent that the other inhabitants of said gym want you dead, don’t PRETEND to be training. I noticed one of them doing pec deck flies for half an hour (error of 1-2 minutes)
-
To those who walk in, occupy the thread mill for an hour, get changed and walk back out the door, I have a question:
Why did you waste 50$ subscription and a good bit of my sanity to just do some basic jogging? That’s what parks are for. They’re free, use THOSE. Gyms are for lifting heavy metal things.[/quote]
[quote]ThePope wrote:
***IF YOUR OPINION OF ME IS THAT I AM ALWAYS A MISERBLE ASSHOLE, WHAT CAN I SAY YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME.
Pope
[/quote]
1: I’m joking around, you asshat!
2: I was stating the personification of the negative aspects of everyone I used to work out with.
3: Who the hell are you supposed to be?
4: Forget point 3, I don’t really give a damn.
5: Posting in all caps is for fools, and gets you flamed. Just a friendly warning.
6: Joo no have speEling and graEMr real good. Proofread your posts you must, young padawan. For that the preview button there is.
[quote]barbos01 wrote:
Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls just want to have fun” is NOT appropriate music to work out to.[/quote]
I’d take Cyndi Lauper over Ricky Martin any day. “Do you reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy want it… Do you reeeaaalllyyyy want it…”
[quote]Brendan B wrote:
- No doing gymnastics in the free weight area. This is not a place for circus acts. This includes, hand stands and cart wheels (just to name the main ones).
[/quote]
What’s your experience with gymnastics?
I, at least, would wait until my six pack showed up through my shirt before I characterized it as a circus act. How many guys in the average weight room can hold a handstand? How coordinated and strong are most guys in the average weight room?
Could there be some connection between their weakness and the fact that their upper body workout is knees-to-chest benching and curls rather than progressions to lever, planche, and maltese press to handstand?
(9) what with the gym fuckin music!
I dont like things in my ear when im lifting. but im tempted!
[quote]perfectlycrazy wrote:
If you must use a pick-up line at the gym please be clever…
“I really like your shoes. What kind are those?”
“Your workouts appear to be working”[/quote]
ROFL! Hey what are some of the most irritating or funny ones?
#1 NO SPITTING.
i saw a 5’2" fucking mexican midget spit on the ground, and i mean hock a fukn loogy. no respect.
[quote]Brendan B wrote:
- If you are a lady, no teasing me while I am lifting. This includes sucking on your finger in a seductive manner, bending over revealing your butt crack in front of me, or pinching your rock hard nipples. If you feel you can not resist wait for me to finish my set, and do not be scared of the monster like object erecting from my shorts. You can kindly tease me all you want when I am done, and i can assure you I will not complain ; Just be sure to reserve a stall in the co-ed bathroom (one of the luxuries at my gym).
Very funny. Especially your number 4 (I can not say how many times a week I have that happen to me).
[/quote]
I was at a gym in Honolulu last fall going for deadlift and rack pull P.R.'s. The abductor machine was inconveniently (or conveniently, depending on your frame of mind at the time) placed directly adjacent to the power rack. The second hottest human being with a pussy in the whole gym left the stationary bike and decided it’s time to exercise her abductors. My wife was with me and occupies the number one slot…as well as having my number one slot…
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaay, she had on SHORT, little, flimsy, SHORT, yellow, shorts that were SHORT and inconveniently (or conveniently, depending on your frame of mind at the time) revealed luscious labia that was succulently mouth-watering but intensely debilitating to the furtherance of my pulling goals. In fact, for some reason, it made me more aware of my pushing goals.
Anyway, it was damn detrimental and downright discommodious and made me wanna slap her upside her…ummmmm… slap her upside her…ummmmmm…her…ummmmmm…healthy haunches.
Bottom line, girls, knock it off!
P.S. Her shorts were like really short.