Top 10: Gym Etiquette Rules

[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
deanosumo wrote:
No fat chicks.

On the other extreme, all people – but this seems to especially apply to women – who are obviously anorexic should be banned from doing hours of cardio.[/quote]

Can I get a hallelujah amen, brother!

There’s this woman at my gym who looks like beef jerky (dried up and scrawny). I want to hold her down and feed her chicken fried steak, yet she does cardio none stop. It’s painful to see.

Here’s one for the t-shirt: The T-bar row is not for squatting. Seriously there’s this guy who thinks that’s what it’s for. And he keeps telling his lifting buddies how to use it. Oy!

WMD

To all 24 fitness employees:

  1. Do not approach me. Ever.
  2. No serious lifter/athlete is interested in learning about your “all new core training program” or will ever pay $300 for 3 hours of being trained by a college kid.
  3. Not every exercise needs to be performed on a swiss ball
  4. Just because you’re wearing a name tag does not make you credible - so shut up.

[quote]jjphenomenon wrote:
To all 24 fitness employees:

  1. Do not approach me. Ever.
  2. No serious lifter/athlete is interested in learning about your “all new core training program” or will ever pay $300 for 3 hours of being trained by a college kid.
  3. Not every exercise needs to be performed on a swiss ball
  4. Just because you’re wearing a name tag does not make you credible - so shut up.[/quote]

hahaha! EXCELLENT!!! those damn 24 hour fitness employees PISS ME OFF

What’s people’s beef with wifebeaters? I wear them all the time at the gym. I find them comfortable and lightweight. I have not just white, but black and gray ones too. What’s the deal? They are a tank top, right?

  1. If you want to use straps, go ahead. If you want to use straps while you are bench pressing, you are a retard.

  2. If you have tattoos, fine. If your tattoo is of your own name, you are a retard.

  3. The only thing swiss balls are for is recreating that scene in Austin Powers where Dr. Evil throws the giant rubber globe at Number 2’s head.

If you must use a pick-up line at the gym please be clever…

“I really like your shoes. What kind are those?”

“Your workouts appear to be working”

11.) If you’re an idiotic newbie who weighs all of a buck-twenty at 6’1" and have just embarrassed yourself by – attempting – to bench press, on your own, with your hands just INSIDE shoulder width, a 25 on each side, no collars and no spotter, and you’ve had the misfortune to have one plate, then the other, slide off the bar in a potentially deadly tipsy-turvey fashion, complete with loud crashes and bangs – and then you’ve proceeded to do it all AGAIN, 2 minutes later, EXACTLY like the first time, please DO use collars and find yourself a spotter (and a clue).

Thank you.

[quote]kungfudude wrote:
6. No Barbell Curls in the Squat Rack.
7. No &$*% Barbell curls in the Squat rack.

  1. No &^$ Barbell Curls in the &$#$ Squat Rack.

  2. No &%& Barbell &#&* Curls in the $#@& Squat Rack.

  3. DAMMIT, didn’t you hear me? @#&* NO &$ BARBELL @#$%CURLS IN THE @#@$& SQUAT &&%$@# RACK!!![/quote]

So true, you ever see those guys spotting each other doing like 21’s in the squat rack. One guy curling in squat rack, one guy standing in front of him yelling at him to power it up and crap. One guy I know actually asked me to spot him there, I unfortunately did, but i gave him so much crap i dont think he’s curled there since

The last time I worked out in a gym was on a Mexican Cruise .There was a guy reading while he was doing leg presses.

I don’t mind if someone asks me a quick question, or for a quick spot when I’m between sets.

What pisses me off is when they (a) talk to me while I’m lifting or (b) want to talk for longer than my rest should last.

If (a) happens I just get pissed and refuse to talk to them and if (b) happens, I just tell them that I’m there to work out.

I also hate when people sit their ass down on a piece of equipment just for waiting sake. Luckily I’m starting to get big enough where when I ask them if they’re using it, they get the hell off.

I second (third/fourth?) the cologne comments, and also, you should not wear anything where flesh appears on the wrong side of the clothing (belly outside of pants, etc…).

[quote]harris447 wrote:

  1. If you want to use straps, go ahead. If you want to use straps while you are bench pressing, you are a retard.[/quote]

Nice

[quote]hareboll wrote:
kungfudude wrote:
6. No Barbell Curls in the Squat Rack.
7. No &$*% Barbell curls in the Squat rack.

  1. No &^$ Barbell Curls in the &$#$ Squat Rack.

  2. No &%& Barbell &#&* Curls in the $#@& Squat Rack.

  3. DAMMIT, didn’t you hear me? @#&* NO &$ BARBELL @#$%CURLS IN THE @#@$& SQUAT &&%$@# RACK!!!

So true, you ever see those guys spotting each other doing like 21’s in the squat rack. One guy curling in squat rack, one guy standing in front of him yelling at him to power it up and crap. One guy I know actually asked me to spot him there, I unfortunately did, but i gave him so much crap i dont think he’s curled there since[/quote]

The number one lift in my gym is by far curls, particularily in the squat rack. I think I am the only one who ever uses the pullup bar.

  1. No slobbering, gumming your jaw, grinding teeth, drooling, spitting, or anything of that nature.

  2. No ripping ass; Simply no other way of putting it. I do not care hard your pushing; I do not want to smell your rotten garbage. If you have to drop the kids off, do; and flush it right away (I can not emphasis this enough).

  3. No intensive groping, fingering, or pinching, your ass for excessive amounts of time. Also, no scratching your balls. If you have a one time itch, itch it. If the itching persist go to the damn bathroom.

  4. If you are a lady, no teasing me while I am lifting. This includes sucking on your finger in a seductive manner, bending over revealing your butt crack in front of me, or pinching your rock hard nipples. If you feel you can not resist wait for me to finish my set, and do not be scared of the monster like object erecting from my shorts. You can kindly tease me all you want when I am done, and i can assure you I will not complain ; Just be sure to reserve a stall in the co-ed bathroom (one of the luxuries at my gym).

  5. No doing gymnastics in the free weight area. This is not a place for circus acts. This includes, hand stands and cart wheels (just to name the main ones).

I will post more when I get the time.

My gym has a speed bag and a punching bag right behind the power racks and squat racks. Every time I am deadlifting or squatting, some douche bag is beating on the speed bad. It wouldn’t piss me off if they knew what they are doing. Most bash on the speed bag for 15 seconds, flex in the mirror, and then go back to doing curls on the smith machine.
So.

  1. No using the speed bag or punching bag unless it is a legitimate part of your workout.

[quote]Built Big wrote:
BFG

Finish it off with these:

  1. I’m the man
  2. If you got a problem with this shirt, read 1-11 again and suck on my water bottle.

(Or something like that)[/quote]

I think we need a t-shirt just to kick the nuts of the t-shirt with those two on it!

[quote]hfrogs00 wrote:
Here is my rule on the occupied squat rack.

If somebody has just a towel there but not at the rack themselves, it’s mine. I will wait about 30-45 seconds to make sure nobody is supersetting.

If all of your stuff is there but you are not, I will do what I can to find out what the deal is before I take it. Note, I will not break my back and go all over creation to find out the situation.

Regardless of the situation, if the rack is set up for curls or shrugs and you are not there, tough shit it’s mine.
[/quote]

Dude, why don’t you just run around punching people in the face at random?

Seriously though - it can take me 30 or 45 seconds to take a piss, easy. And Scotty doesn’t beam me to the john either; I have to walk. You want I should give up washing my hands now?

You could cut a little more slack than 30 or 45 seconds. That little is your “excuse for being a dick time,” not your “let’s not be a dick about this” time.

How about

If I just saved your ass trying to bench 135, don’t ask me to spot you with the same weight again for at least a week.

[quote]jjphenomenon wrote:
harris447 wrote:

  1. If you want to use straps, go ahead. If you want to use straps while you are bench pressing, you are a retard.

Nice[/quote]

Really, I’ve seen pics of Metal Militia guys wearing straps to bench.

Cardio is not a cooldown from eating breakfast.