Last year I found out that my great grandmother, who I have been very close with my entire life, was not named Saralyn, and that was a nickname her mother gave her because there were a lot of girls named sara in her neighborhood.
I also found out that my great grandmother and grandmother, who live in a duplex together, are both fluent in Italian. They never spoke it around me because when my great grandmother immigrated, her parents insisted that they were now American and should speak English. I could have been bilingual. I was also the last in my family to know this. My brother who is 5 years younger than me has known this for years and assumed that I did too.
When I was young, all the men in my family primarily wore long pants, and didn’t wear shorts much. The women did, and I thought that legs were supposed to be hairless. When my legs began growing hair, I would shave it off with a razor when I took a bath or shower because I thought it was some defect or something. This went on for quite some time.
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
For a long time I thought Ozzy was singing " I’m going after IT on a crazy train" not rails. I never put train and rails together, how fucking dumb is that.
I was the last to know Freddy Mercury was gay, when he died someone at work mentioned it and I was WTF? he’s queer?. I shit you not.
I dare you to listen to Black Sabbath’s song Turn up the night and not hear “Turnup the Knight!”. It will ruin the song for you like it did me. Whenever I hear that song now, that pops into my head and it sounds ubsurd lol.
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Much more respectable that what I mishead. There was some crappy 1980s song by some 80’s band (which I just looked up “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister.") that was everywhere.
They are singing in latin or greek or something and sing “Kyrie Elisan” (or whatever).
I still hear it as “Carry a laser down the road that you will travel. Carry a laser on a highway in the night.”
Never could figure out how a Sci-Fi song could be such an annoying pop hit.[/quote]
I thought when I was really little, that every time you put in a VHS movie, the little blinking light sent a signal to all the actors for the movie, and that they would get together really quick and perform the movie, like a live broadcast. I though that’s why there were previews, to give them time to get ready. So I thought the previews were recordings, but not the actual movie. lol
I also thought when people said ‘selfish’ they were calling you a ‘shellfish’. So I just assumed shellfish were really greedy and hogged everything in the aquatic world.
I didn’t know girls had pubic hair until I was about 10, when I would chill with my uncle who basically just let me stay up and watch R rated movies and eat candy all the time. His bachelor pad had Maxim magazines (like sincerely every issue. lol) in the living room, and then a ton of Playboys in the bathroom ‘reading’ basket. I guess he didn’t care. lol. He also had a bunch of porn VHS tapes under his bed, which the boxes had nudity. I was confused, because I didn’t know why there was hair on the girls downstairs, why the guys were wearing weird plastic bags on their shlongs, and was SO confused why a girl was sucking on it (I thought he was peeing in her mouth). So the concept of porn freaked me out awhile until I understood sex, and I’m still really picky about body hair. lol
Whenever I was watching TV and they switched cameras (or camera angles), I always thought that the guy who was operating the camera would push a button and his camera would stop filming so the others would have a turn.
There were these really big nuts (or something) that fell off the trees at my elementary school, and the kids would always throw them and stuff. One day, to get us to stop, a teacher told us they were poisonous. Everyone stopped, because they thought they were poisonous to eat, so there was no point in messing with them. Well I thought they were poisonous to touch, spend the rest of the day freaking out, and cried on my way home because I thought I was going to die that night. My mom told me they had special soap that would save you, but only if you covered yourself in it to scrub out the poison. I must have spent a half hour scrubbing myself and praying for god to let me live.
I used to think that the earth was created by God and that man was created in the image of Him.
come to find out (thanks to the History Channel), that the earth created thru the big bang, and was formed to support life as we know it through quadzillions of years of volcanic eruptions and heating and cooling cycles, and that the life was seeded on this planet by an ancient race of aliens.
There were these really big nuts (or something) that fell off the trees at my elementary school, and the kids would always throw them and stuff. One day, to get us to stop, a teacher told us they were poisonous. Everyone stopped, because they thought they were poisonous to eat, so there was no point in messing with them. Well I thought they were poisonous to touch, spend the rest of the day freaking out, and cried on my way home because I thought I was going to die that night. My mom told me they had special soap that would save you, but only if you covered yourself in it to scrub out the poison. I must have spent a half hour scrubbing myself and praying for god to let me live.
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Did it work?
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LOLz
I always thought that when people got in fights or got shot in a movie it was real. I thought to myself “people must really want to be famous to risk their lives like that”
When I was in fifth grade, we learned how your eyes see things upside down and your brain flips it right side up. Well one girl didn’t understand and thought the whole world was upside down. The teacher let her think out loud for a good five minutes before correcting her. Her mind was fucking BLOWN.
When I was in kindergarten my friends and I decided we were going to dig to hell and kill the devil. We dug in the sandbox everyday for a week until we reached the bag under the sandbox that keeps the sand in. We didn’t want to mess up the school’s property so we stopped.
As a pre-school teacher I get to tell kids that a man has already WALKED ON THE FUCKING MOON!
Every year that blows the children’s minds.
One time I was teaching about reptiles and how snakes would go out in the sun to bask. A few months later we were learning about the Solar System and one boy asked what the Sun was made of…I told them it was basically a huge ball of fire.
One boy said that the Sun was filled with snakes. I thought this must be some old Chinese legend or something. So I corrected him. He then told me that I was the one that told him that the Sun was filled with snakes…because I told him snakes go in the sun to keep warm! Ha!
In the rolling stones song “some girls” the line is some girls get the shirt off my back, and leave me with a lethal dose.
I thought he was saying some girls get the shirt off my back, and leave me with their little dolls, HAHA FUCK.
THat is sorta sick, like I am thinking he is fucking such young women (true), but SOooO young they have dolls. Then after I thought oHHH! Maybe he means he knocked up these chicks (true) so they are taking the shirt off his back andleaving him with CHILDREN with little dolls.
When I was little I didn’t understand that the calendar was cyclic. So I knew from church that Christmas was “Jesus’ birthday” and that he died on the cross and rose at Easter. But I didn’t understand how years worked…so I thought that he was born in December and just grew up super-fast in like 4 months.
It sounds stupid but remember as a little kid in church we get stories of Jesus healing blind people, breaking up loaves and fishes, walking on water…super growth is actually pretty damn plausible.
When I lived in england, I had a school where there were like these little gold rocks in the sandbox. If you dig them up you can find them deep in there. All the kids thought it was real gold. I literally just realized that that would have made no sense.
[quote]medevac wrote:
When I was little I didn’t understand that the calendar was cyclic. So I knew from church that Christmas was “Jesus’ birthday” and that he died on the cross and rose at Easter. But I didn’t understand how years worked…so I thought that he was born in December and just grew up super-fast in like 4 months.
It sounds stupid but remember as a little kid in church we get stories of Jesus healing blind people, breaking up loaves and fishes, walking on water…super growth is actually pretty damn plausible.
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Ha! I actually used this idea as a status update on facebook a few weeks ago!
Something like “Those Romans sure were cruel nailing Jesus to the cross in April…he was just born in December!”
When I was a kid, and quite a bit into my teen years, I had this unshakeable delusion that there was some really old dude who was really powerful and controlled everyone’s lives living in a high place, like the sky or some crazy shit like that. I also believed that he had a son who went around tearing shit up with magic spells, getting himself a posse and bitches who followed him everywhere. He sacrificed himself for everyone, you know, like Goku and was basically superman.
I then realised that people lie and a lot of people are fucking stupid and that if an idea is absurd and there is no evidence for it, then maybe you shouldn’t devote your life to it.
[quote]Waylander wrote:
When I was a kid, and quite a bit into my teen years, I had this unshakeable delusion that there was some really old dude who was really powerful and controlled everyone’s lives living in a high place, like the sky or some crazy shit like that. I also believed that he had a son who went around tearing shit up with magic spells, getting himself a posse and bitches who followed him everywhere. He sacrificed himself for everyone, you know, like Goku and was basically superman.
I then realised that people lie and a lot of people are fucking stupid and that if an idea is absurd and there is no evidence for it, then maybe you shouldn’t devote your life to it.[/quote]
[quote]Waylander wrote:
When I was a kid, and quite a bit into my teen years, I had this unshakeable delusion that there was some really old dude who was really powerful and controlled everyone’s lives living in a high place, like the sky or some crazy shit like that. I also believed that he had a son who went around tearing shit up with magic spells, getting himself a posse and bitches who followed him everywhere. He sacrificed himself for everyone, you know, like Goku and was basically superman.
I then realised that people lie and a lot of people are fucking stupid and that if an idea is absurd and there is no evidence for it, then maybe you shouldn’t devote your life to it.[/quote]
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when I was little I misunderstood there could be pictures as awesome as the one you just posted.
So just a couple years ago (I was 31) I started a new job at a warehouse. Everyone there drives around an electric pallet jack to carry around their orders. Each jack has its own specific recharging station. There is a small LED read out screen on the charging station that lets you know what state of charge the jack is in (0%, 75%, what ever) When a jack is fully charged it says on the little screen DonE. I honestly thought to myself for at least an hour that each charge station had each persons name on it and that there were a LOT of guys named DonE that worked there. They were actually just done charging.
When my friends and I were in grammar school, we would look in cars at the speedometer to see how fast they go. I was always confused how a piece of shit Ford Grenada could go as fast as 120 but a Camaro could only do 85. We’d argue about whose dad had the fastest car using this foolproof method.
[quote]Waylander wrote:
When I was a kid, and quite a bit into my teen years, I had this unshakeable delusion that there was some really old dude who was really powerful and controlled everyone’s lives living in a high place, like the sky or some crazy shit like that. I also believed that he had a son who went around tearing shit up with magic spells, getting himself a posse and bitches who followed him everywhere. He sacrificed himself for everyone, you know, like Goku and was basically superman.
I then realised that people lie and a lot of people are fucking stupid and that if an idea is absurd and there is no evidence for it, then maybe you shouldn’t devote your life to it.[/quote]
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I was a kid but I think either in a NG magazine or something I saw an image of Pangea and how the continents separated and moved over time. Between that and people always joking that “California was going to slip off and sink in the ocean” (Thanks for that Gene Hackman) I was under the impression that continents floated on the oceans. They were just really large and heavy and so didn’t move very quickly
