Back to the grapes, I don’t even like grapes, however when recovering from sets my body “craves” fruit.
I don’t eat fruit at all outside the lifting window. The exception might be a smoothie pre lifting.
I’ll agree there. I have an interesting relationship with alcohol, so I’d rather just drink water than beer. It feels like extra calories and phytoestrogens for zero happy payoff.
I do drink 3-4 glasses of wine over a week, so I guess that counts as grapes.
Do any other Johnny Depp fans think of Jack the Ripper when they break out the grapes?
Do you happen to know what age he was convicted of this?
I’m only asking because its not super uncommon for a 15 year old boy to have consensual sex with a 15 year old girl, then the parents (not the girl) cry rape, force, coersion, etc. and get the boy thrown in jail for consensual sex.
If he was an adult doing this, then yeah lets wood chipper him.
But I’ve seen too many of the above scenarios where an otherwise innocent kid’s life is ruined.
I believe justice is applied when the guilty are punished and the innocent are not.
Him and his wife targeted a young brother and sister, plyed them with booze and drugs, then sexually abused them.
Then they went on the run to evade law enforcement.
Offense: 3122.1 (b)
Statutory Sexual Assault (18 Pa. C.S. § 3122.1)
(a) Felony of the second degree - Except as provided in section 3121 (relating to rape), a person commits a felony of the second degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant to whom the person is not married who is under the age of 16 years and that person is:
2. Eight years older but less than 11 years older than the complainant.
(b) Felony of the first degree - A person commits a felony of the first degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant under the age of 16 years and that person is 11 or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other.
Date of offense: 1-1-2015
Date of conviction: 10-20-2016.
Born in 1981, so 34 years old at the time.
Edited.
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I’ve honestly never ever heard of a girls parents pressing charges on another male teen for this and the teen going to prison or being labeled an offender.
I honestly don’t even want it on my searches either, so I’ll just remain the certified moron.
To the woodchipper, then.
Sorry you’re dealing with this.
Scary dads = safe kids.
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I’m not necessarily scary anymore, at least in appearance.
But I have a lifetime of experience with violence that actually shocked my previous seasoned and very practiced therapist.
Shocks the new one too (previous one retired) but she’s very tough and dedicated. When I told her about this and we discussed it, she was visibly shaken but hung in there in a very guiding and supportive way.
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This is a case where a quick death is too kind for them.
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Yeah, after a couple therapists had that reaction I just keep it buried and try to channel it in positive ways.
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Just do 'em like a stump. Start at the periphery (feet) and work your way in.
As they say in the meetings, on the 4th & 5th steps- “You’re only as sick as your secrets.”.
If there is no one on earth that one can trust with the really dark shit then that is a truly lonely and isolated existence.
Not saying that applies, but thats how we handle it in the 12 step format, as a treatment for emotional/spiritual sense of isolation that drives the feelings of unworthyness and terminal uniqueness that keeps people from staying sober.
@OyAmPipMayo , whats your take on my take of that subject? 
I’ve been down a rabbit hole on some Jungian stuff of late, kind of similar. The shadow needs to be integrated in one way or another. If that means you get to use a community of like minded snowflakes to help you accept the dark stuff, then that should help.
If you have to eat a shit sandwich, take it to a meeting and we’ll all eat it together.
Thanks for asking.
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. Thanks.
Yeah. I’ve chatted with my therapist about that, and she very much agrees with Jungs shadow theory. Its a slow & steady approach, to shed light on the darker parts and bring them to the fore of consciousness- integrate them if you will, in a way that is evenly tempered by that which already exists- the me that I’m aware of.
Some people are only there for the coffee & cookies. You can always tell who they are when its time to break out the shit sammiches.
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I should clarify some of my other remarks in a different thread - I am not that hardcore on the recovery stuff. I know what works for me. I do believe most people are addicts of some kind, but not that they all need to 100% abstain from their substance of choice.
You can always tell the cookie and coffee crowd btw - you can see it in their eyes, that they are on borrowed time.
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Thats the most important part.
My therapist is the weights, I see my therapist everyday.
The lifting and goals of growing keep me thinking about if anyone on the street wants to start something with me, it’s not worth it. I’d rather have my freedom to lift than go to the castle of bars.
This is also why I watch prison YouTubers, this is a reminder of how easy it can be to get sent to one of those places.
My curiosity re: these shocking violences is now quite provoked.
I work with a woman who came to me after a colleague told her that she’d disclosed something that was beyond the therapist’s scope of practice. It took her about a year after we’d started to tell me. The horrendous secret? She was having unwanted sex with her husband to avoid fallout. Not rape - unwanted but consensual sex. It shocked me that anyone was shocked by this.
I’d like to think there’s nothing I can be told that I couldn’t handle easily. I let sadness and anger show on my face, but try to keep a poker face through anything that I think might make people feel ashamed (because the clients are definitely watching my face for response), but after the initial acceptance of the disclosure I am honest about my reaction, which to this point has never been disgust, which I think is the real fear.
I do think people need to be able to talk about the stuff. “That which remains unspoken becomes unspeakable,” said someone. I can’t remember who. They’re right.
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Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
I think that if I had to identify the main driver of my practice in terms of my values, it would be that no one ever have to feel utterly alone. To that end, I’m exceptionally self-disclosing* and also share non-identifying things about both clients and people in my social circle. Not broadly - a nice, well-raised lady who’s come in for anxiety doesn’t need to hear about the things that make other people curl up in a fetal position around their shame. The ex-con ex-drunk/addict who discloses that he “almost” badly hurt some teenagers who gave him shit does. Along with, of course, that he DIDN’T hurt anyone, and maybe he can start to trust himself just a little. (Side note: I wonder how that guy is doing.)
I would imagine you have an unusually high collection of crazy/terrible experience because we seek out people like us. Impoverished kids don’t want wealthy friends and vice versa. Kids with mentally ill parents generally congregate with same. It’s a multiplier. Just like affluent kids get to ride on boats AND experience ski trips AND stay at beach houses because they’re doing stuff with friends’ families.
*Not that my disclosures are particularly exciting.
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It occurs to me that I should clarify that he had a long history of hurting people, but I worked with him when he was 11 years sober in his 40’s. He didn’t know how to stop skulking around in the shadows and be a regular person. Man, I liked that guy. He came in all shaky once because we’d gotten new electronic check-in things at the community health center I worked in. They were bright orange plastic and like a cross between an Etch A Sketch and a tablet. He confessed that he’d almost thrown the thing through the check-in window, and I was like “Yeah, me too! It’s super irritating. I assume everyone wants to throw them.” And then we talked shit about the claim that they were “antibacterial.” It was a primary care facility - pediatrics and all! Why are you making me touch these?? (On topic: that pissed me off. They did get rid of the things eventually. I still see my doctor there.)