It was terribly painful at those times, but the 49 year old, husband/father me can see it much differently. They were both extremely damaged people and did an immense amount of harm. It seems antithetical to the entire concept of the parent/child relationship to say this, but it’s kind of a blessing that their time was so limited. That’s not a statement of malice so much is it is one of regret.
Hence the ambivalence.
After a couple of incidents, we started putting some very strict limits on exposure to them.
I’m familiar with that play. It actually infuriates me given what I know about their treatment.
Nothing trashes the honest expression of gratitude like someone demanding it.
Because some of the people concerned about it have children who will definitely be exploited by it. And by “some people”, I mean me. Its fucking terrifying to bring a child into today’s world and know I will have to navigate some really tough social/technological times. Anything that adds to the already overloaded plate of exploitative tech trends, should be questioned and fully understood before introducing it to the world’s youth.
I did not feel this way until I was a parent myself, so I understand where the disconnect (pun intended) is.
The wife and I have a 3 state rule: no family members within 3 states of where we currently reside. Parent’s are fine (anecdotally), but once you have your family, space isn’t just nice, it’s required.
I’m not a parent, yet technology scares me in many ways. This is not to say that it offers no value. However, it can be very dangerous. There are too many examples of this already. I think very carefully about which technologies I allow in my life and still take many precautions when necessary, which is pretty much always. A lot of stuff is completely out of my control though. It’s tough.
I moved out of state a while ago for college, so I am pretty good on the physical distance front. It has helped so much like you suggest.
setting boundaries with parents helps a lot. More than that, I had a strong falling out with my dad a while back - such that we didn’t speak for a few years… it had a weird power dynamic where both my parents realized they didn’t have the control over me they once held when I lived under their roof. Not like we have an awkward power/relationship, it just set the tone that I’m my own person with my own family. In an unfortunate way, it helped.
Anyways, I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with a tough parental relationship, it makes things complicated when it ought not to be.
My kiddo wanted to start playing roblox when he was 6. I already have significant beef with EULA’s and payment for something without actual ownership…but I digress.
Me & wife discussed it for a little bit and agreed, any pervy fucking weirdos, the plug gets pulled immediately.
So, sign up, create profile, yadda yadda, and boom! Within 24 hours like a dozen fucking weirdo 20 something year old dudes from Pakistan are friend requesting a 6 year old.
Profile deleted, plug pulled, fun over.
Why in any real world or otherwise situation would a mid 20’s-mid 30’s who ever from where ever want anything to do with a 6 year old?
From what I understand these sandbox type games are rife with that type of shit. I don’t even care what a person’s motives are. If some strange dude comes up IRL and wants to play, chat, & hang out with my son you are by default eliminated based on the fact that you want to. Same applies online.
That actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it there are some really stupid trends/challenges on TikTok that have costed kids their lives so I can see where you’re coming from.
My parents (especially mum) are amazing ppl, but I’ve found that living with them for more than a month consecutively is pretty much unbearable now.
Some conflict inevitably comes up and it gets dealt with through explosive arguments. Even if nothing comes up, I feel like I’m always walking on eggshells
Sorry to hear about the stuff with your dad. In my experience it can be especially alienating when your friends have good or at least existent relations with their parents. Thanks, I never felt I related to mine at all in any way. No exaggeration.
I commend you for actually thinking about your child’s relationship with technology, which many parents neglect. I by no means wish to diminish the issue you highlighted in your post. However, predators have lurked on the Internet for many decades now. Sure, they probably use different techniques and platforms nowadays – how popular are traditional chatrooms nowadays anyway?
But at this point it’s about more than just “don’t talk to these weirdos online.” The technological landscape over the past 5-10 years differs dramatically from the many years beforehand. It’s more subtle in some (but not all) ways. It affects not only children and teens but also adults, which is the tricky thing. At the risk of sounding like a fearmonger, most people don’t even realize this.
Granted, I’m younger than most of the posters here, so maybe it’s easy for me to say this.
@FlatsFarmer Tiktok is such as a miserable app and I don’t think anyone of any age should use it. I’m saying this based on experience, the users of TikTok are so damn miserable. It’s so much negativity and bullying, I’m so glad I deleted that garbage a year or two ago. T Nation forums is my favorite social media site lmao.
The very first dude stole Urinal Filters that everybody pissed on! Ridiculous! Also, the young people listen to terrible music now.
That’s too bad about bullying on tiktok. I thought it was mostly people getting stoked about dancing around. Good job distancing yourself from that stuff.
TNation is my favorite tool for socialization with lifters too.
Teenagers talking about running 2-a-days to “release your Testosterone and shit” while clearly weighing less than the average American Girl Scout.
^while running the typical “no days off, bro split”.
If only there were some database or other online resource that held a compendium of information about this stuff
I mean he had a gun, but this may have been avoided if the no-knock warrant weren’t issued. I’m finding myself siding against the legality of no-knock warrants.
