Why not just bow out of the thread?
But I support whatever you need to do to be well. For me sometimes that’s a good online brawl; other times it’s not.
Take good care either way. We’re here!
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I lack discipline.
@twojarslave , I am at loose ends in New England for a few weeks, thinking about driving up to Maine. Where should I go?
Well, that depends on what you’re looking to occupy your time with while you’re here. We’ve been having great weather lately, likely to be very pleasant in the coming weeks.
If you’re looking for quiet, quaint, artsy coastal Maine as many imagine the place, heading up the coast well beyond Portland will get you there. Portland still has its charm of sorts, but it’s no longer the kind of carefree, safe and fun town it was when I moved here. There are still lots of great shops and restaurants with some occasional notable entertainment, but it is no longer a town that’s mostly populated by locals, if that makes sense.
This is increasingly true everywhere and I’m sure you know how to keep your head above water, but I’ll still mention that it is ridiculously easy to get whatever sort of drugs you want in Maine, especially in Portland. If being around everything that comes along with legal drugs is something that bothers or triggers you, stay out of the larger cities where it is out in the open.
My go-to recommendation for anyone spending a week in Maine is to rent a cabin on a lake with access to a canoe and/or kayak. There’s a little spot (all booked up, unfortunately) that I go to on a small, quiet lake that has a wood-fired sauna with shower, an outdoor shower, a massive wrap-around deck, gas and charcoal grill, all essential amneties, a great firepit, a separate screened-in building for nights with bugs, and no massive groups of drunken idiots on pontoon boats that can go 60 mph. All for under $200 a night.
The good news is that many other such properties are available and easier to find than ever with modern apps like verbo.
Good day-hikes are all over as well, if you want some mountain air and exercise. Tumbledown Mountain Brook Trail is my default recommendation for something easy but not too easy and very rewarding at the top. River trips are always a good time. Companies will do all of the hauling for you while you enjoy a paddle or a float on a tube. Renting ATV’s in the mountains can be a really fun day too. The trail network is incredible.
I would no longer consider Portland a must-visit at all, but the great thing about Maine is that there are so many awesome things to do if simple stuff and outdoor activities are your game. We’ve also got TONS of woo, so you’ll never need to look far if you find yourself in need of a particular type of witch doctor or even just a great LMT or Yoga studio. That stuff’s all out in the sticks now too unless you go way up North where literally nobody lives.
Thanks for the lengthy and informative response.
My great great grandfather immigrated from France via Canada and through Portland so I might check that out a bit. I will most likely stay near UConn where my son is a freshman, much to his chagrin.
I am going to a retreat at Kripalu for a few days, then to watch football with my son, then I have a week to kill before parent’s weekend. I went to North Carolina to see my cousins and am currently cooling my jets in Delaware with my daughter who is a senior at UDel.
I probably won’t make it out of Mass at this rate - I am tired of driving.
But, one never knows, so thanks for the response!
When I moved to Lewiston something around 30 percent of the population spoke French at home. You’d always hear conversations in French out in public. You still do, but not very often.
If you just want to take a quick dip into Maine you can just cross over into Kittery, get some lobster, browse the weaponry at Kittery Trading Post, smoke a joint and then head back to Mass in time for dinner. Coastal islands can also be a fun little day trip with lots of great arts and restaurants.
Staying a few nights opens up a lot of great possibilities further north, where local Maine culture is still prevalent.
My GG Grandfather was born in LeHavre France, stowed away on a boat, was found by the captain, who adopted him, and he took his last name. Jean Metivier immigrated from Canada into Penobscot county around 1850. They spoke French.
It is a four hour drive, not too bad. I am in for lobster.
My maternal great grandfather lived in West Springfield, MA, close to UConn and Kriaplu, and they spoke French as well.
Kind of cool to have no plans.
Can confirm. This was an incredible thing. Water was warm and mostly clear. Scenery is very similar to what I grew up with in the ‘Portland’.
I am gone again, lol.
Peace.
No, I did not fall off the wagon . . . completely.
Addiction comes in a spectrum, for those not familiar with it. There is active use, abstinence, and sobriety.
Active use is self explanatory. Abstinence is not using, but not being emotionally sober. Those that are abstinent frequently dip between sobriety and abstinence - not using, but not thinking clearly.
It is difficult to explain, but suffice it to say that addicts are victims, and they live in that story. When an addict is abstinent but living in the victim story, they are not sober (emotionally). This is the time addicts will relapse, and arguably, have relapsed without having picked up.
So, in that sense, I relapsed but did not pick up. I snuck back into the blame and complain game and was being a victim.
I share in the hopes of helping others in addiction, with family or friends in addiction, and to be honest, to mitigate the damage I have caused - living amends.
It is a roller coaster, and those that are still on the ride with me, thanks for sticking around.
I dropped my son off at college on 8/22, my daughter on 8/23, and am cooling my jets on the East Coast until 9/13 for Parent’s weekend at my son’s university - he is a Freshman. I left my home on 8/14 and won’t be back until 10/10. I have traveled over 3500 miles since then, and been through a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I decided a few days ago to attend a weekend retreat at Kripalu on yoga theory on living in recovery with Tommy Rosen, who I consider a friend. I just got out today and he reset my compass. I feel sober today, but still have my sober date of 6/28/22.
Cheers!
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When my son wanted to play HS Football as a 5’4" Freshman with flat feet and very little muscle tone, I was firmly against it for several reasons. I have seen too many crippling injuries and diminished lives caused by a collision sport.
It recently came up in a thread that I believe has since been deleted, but I wanted to expand here, and in a fashion, apologize for being judgemental of others.
Eventually, I relented, like always, after having a long discussion with my son about football, and I let him play. He was fourteen and I wanted him to take ownership of his life but wanted to guide without dictating. I explained that in my experience, there were a lot of dumb kids trying to crash their heads into his and trying to hurt him - at least that is how I played.
Most of those kids, like me, had little to lose in that zero sum game. I felt he was very bright and had a lot to lose.
Now, I am a huge fan of football, especially college football (actually only college football).
Eventually, he saw it my way and quit.
Or, maybe he was just a pussy.
Either way, I don’t care. He dodged this - seven kids died in the last month playing football in grades 7-12.
I think you’re raising a good point and your perspective is an interesting one. Lots of what we do (and allow our children to do), has some amount of danger. Some of that danger we have to accept and some of it we need to let our children make their own choices.
My brother’s best friend is a guy named Dave, and my brother told him that he would kill him and his wife if Dave ever spoke to me again.
My brother has many weapons and ammunition.
Living the dream.
Just catching up on your log.
Its interesting ain’t it?
About 22 years ago, when I relapsed I reflected on why and how and all that. I described it as falling down the steps. Like you’re plateaued on the 12th, and start to tumble, essentially undoing everything you did to get there. Stopping practical use of the steps, cutting off active contact with a higher power, no longer looking at ones part, justifying actions in addiction…
You get the drift.
Anyways, I saw that quoted part and it rung a bell with me and triggered some recognition of my own experience.
Hope you’re doing good man. 
Thanks for posting.
I just got out of a ten day silent meditation seminar. Transformational. Arrived back at my parents’ this morning and am here for another twelve days.
Life is good.
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Thats pretty intense.
Awesome.
Welp, after more than eight weeks of travel I got on the scale this morning to find myself down to 189, a drop of about fifteen pounds. At least five of that is coming off creatine, I suspect more is water from ten days of healthy eating at the retreat. However, two meals a day at the retreat surely had me drop some fat, and LBM. Body fat was 18% so a slight uptick there but nothing to worry about.
Back to my Portland routine this morning - 6AM meeting, gym, grocery shopping, hanging out with my parents. I have another twelve days here and I think I am going to cut for those twelve days trying to get leaner and prep for a Winter bulk. Santa Cruz has nice weather through October so it’s still beach body season for me.
Heart to heart with my mother this morning. She asked me to move in with them to help them get ready to move into assisted living in the next twelve months. She needs help with logistics and organizing, not actual physical help - other than running errands and stuff - so it should work out well. I will be cleaning out the den to give me some personal space in the house and will still spend a good deal of time traveling, so it feels like a win win.
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Not too shabby, home slice. Doing better than me. Of course, I am drinking and eating shit again.
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Universe is good.
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