Fair point. Blame it on my misanthropic blinders.
Off with their heads.
It’s the fucking rich asshole Asians with their asinine beliefs in the magical curing powers of assorted endangered species like Tigers and Rhinos that really piss me off. And the elephant tusk thing…
Brings to mind a story I heard, from a book (which I haven’t read) about a black dude in the good ol’ South days (sarcasm) sitting down at a restaurant about to dive into his chicken dinner; bunch of rednecks come up to him, tells him that whatever he does to that chicken, they’re going to do to him; so the black dude kisses the chicken LOL.
2 Likes
Well, Hannibal Lecter’s guests thought human brain was as exquisite as foie gras…
That is fictional though…
…supposedly.
That would help with our feral cat problem but I’m not sure if it’s worth the increase in child rape…
Edit: huge edit to add the word not…
5 Likes
IMany years ago, before I was an asshole, my ex and I moved into a house next to some Vietnamese people. They seemed friendly enough, even though they couldn’t speak English, and I told my husband, “look they have a litte dog” A couple of weeks later the lil dog was gone. I told my ex, “Oh their lil dog must have ran away.” He said, “YEP” and left it at that. Two days later, new lil dog. Of course, I made comment and my ex dutifully said, yes they sure did. Three dogs later he finally just told me, they were eating them. I was mortified. Bless his heart he tried to save me from myself 
Honestly, the thiught never crossed my mind.
I just couldn’t imagine anybody feeding a dog up to eat it, but they did. At least eight that we know of😭
1 Like
Should have voted the chicken for Mayor.
Well, he had to dumb it down for his audience.
1 Like
Had a stomach bug today. Woke up shitting, my oldest son gets up and starts shitting, both of us straight liquid, finally go to wake my youngest up at 10 o’clock because I’m worried, and when I open the door, there’s a THUD and the stench of shit hits my nose like a Mack truck. My youngest (2.5 years) had climbed out of his crib and fallen asleep right in front of the door. He barely moved and the door wouldn’t open so I had to push him with the door and picked him up and ran downstairs. I kind of tried to hold him slightly out but he latched on to me like a fuckin Koala and when I pull him off to lie him on the floor and start cleaning up what I know is in his diaper, I immediately realize, in the proper light of my living room, that he is covered from his chest down in liquid shit. Obviously I then look down at the shirt I was wearing and see a child-shaped shit imprint on my shirt. Ripped off my shirt, put him on the ground, start cleaning him, and once he’s mostly clean I pick him back up and run upstairs to start a bath. My eldest asks me for a PB&J and after showering the little guy off, starting a shallow bath, and giving him dinosaurs to play with, I tell my eldest to come upstairs and watch his brother so I can make a sandwich for him. Halfway through making the sandwich, aka 20 seconds later, I hear the toilet flushing. Drop what I’m doing and run up to see what’s going on, and the eldest had tried to rip a massive fart and ended up coating his pants, his legs, his feet, and two rings on the floor, in - you guessed it - liquid shit. That was at 8 am. The day didn’t get worse, but it honestly didn’t improve.
16 Likes
Man, that sure sounds like a shitty morning!
6 Likes
Circa noon today, way ahead of you, to my sister:
1 Like
Dang it I felt pretty good about that one.
Joys of parenthood man.
Hope everyone recovers well.
1 Like
Hahaha!
Flame free confession: being fully aware that it’s completely irrelevant and due to dehydration rather than fat loss, I nevertheless enjoy post-illness weigh-ins.
2 Likes
I slept in past six for the first time in two years
1 Like
Good ol baptism of poo(p). I hope to one day have a shit free day lol
Glad you survived and if there’s a bright side, it’s at least it wasn’t a weekday. My last gastro workday ended with a phone call from someone desperately trying to get some end of month reporting and and it went a little like this: “I’m covered in shit, Kenneth!!! I don’t give two fucks about what’s wrong with the spreadsheet”.
6 Likes
We had one of those a couple months ago. God bless my wife. I just wanted to burn everything but she cleaned it up.
Hopefully the worst of it is behind you.
1 Like
I confess my kid is watching an episode of Care Bears this morning but ALSO watching an episode of me flipping out on the Care Bears because they are using the word “jealousy” when they mean “envy”.
How did this pass QC? Did ANYONE on the staff own a dictionary? I thought this was supposed to be educational.
2 Likes
Fantastic imagery.
I’m Absurdist Nihilism Bear.
1 Like