[quote]Kayrob wrote:
One thought, if the gift is within 90 days before the BK, could Nate be sued for the assets as an improper distribution? I am not sure the answer to this question, if this was a business, the answer would be yes, but I am not sure in an individual BK. Just something to think about and check out.[/quote]
Possible. A social worker should be able to explain a lot, and for much less than a lawyer.
Some of you may or may not know, but my father passed away on Sunday, June 4.
He battled cancer since first being diagnosed in February of 2005. We thought he had it beat by August, but we found out this past February that the cancer had spread to his lungs, bones and bowels. The doctors gave him 4-6 months to live despite their best efforts and experimental chemo treatments.
During the last few months, there were small signs that he was deteriorating (consistent weight loss, no appetite, confusion, loss of balance and hearing, weakness, fatigue, etc.). He quickly lost his strength to walk and used a walker for one week and then a
wheelchair the next. The Friday before Memorial Day, he became very ill and was admitted to the hospital. It was on this day that I knew he only had a matter of days left. I don’t know why, but I could feel it.
We visited him in the hospital, and even though he looked good and felt good, there were signs that he was not doing well (he couldn’t finish his thoughts or put a complete sentence together). After arriving home from the hospital on Sunday, he quickly went down hill each day.
He became ill again on Friday, June 2 and was unable to talk and was in a tremendous amount of pain. His co-workers came in to help him as he had been vomiting blood while I was at work. Once I got home, we began administering pain relief and whatever else we could do to keep him comfortable, as he wanted to die at home.
Many family members and friends helped during this time as well. From Saturday morning on, it was me, Stacey, my dad’s wife and a dear friend of my theirs who cared for him. After a long battle on Friday, Saturday and Saturday night, my father passed very peacefully at 10:55 a.m. on Sunday morning (June 4).
We prayed that he would go peacefully, as he had been in so much pain during the past year and a half. And there was the chance that many other things could have caused his death (heart attack, stroke, etc.). But on Sunday morning, he became very peaceful, his breathing slowed down and he took one breath and didn’t take another.
For those of you who may not have known, my dad had three children (me, my brother and sister), and he was a registered nurse. He remarried his long-time love interest, Pat, this year (She was a tremendous help with my dad during this time).
When we moved to Florida in 1989, he worked in the ER at Shands HealthCare for a few years before taking his dream job as a flight nurse with ShandsCair. He spent 13 years with them and saved many, many lives. He was respected by all his co-workers and was admired for how well he did his job. Everyone wanted to work with him, and he was good to his patients.
There is so much more I could say about him, as he was definitely a treasure and gift to this world.
I loved my father tremendously, as we were close. I spent much time with him since I had lived with him for so long.
We had a memorial for him on Friday, June 9 at our house where many friends and co-workers of my father came to the house to celebrate his life and tell wonderful stories about him.
We just flew back from Rhode Island/Mass late last night for his funeral and to see family.
I’m grateful to everyone who had so many wonderful thoughts and prayers for me, my father, Stacey and our family. Thank you so much for everything.
Nate, please accept my sincerest condolences. Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss, Nate. Even though it was expected, the pain is still there.
I’ve thought of you and your father often since you told us of his ilness, and I am glad that you got to spend so much time with him during these past months. I live very far away from my father, and my one regret is that he will pass away without us having spent the time together that we need. That I need.
I hope you got that time.
Stay strong, and know that my thoughts and best wishes are with you.
-M.
Nate,
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I have lost 2 grandparents to cancer (one in the past year). Rest assured that you are on my family’s prayer list and in our thoughts.
As for saving to marry Stace, I thought I’d share this with you.
When I graduated from College, I married in a huge ceremony that cost tons of money. That marriage lasted 4 months as she was having an affair before we even got married (amazing what you find out after the fact, but that’s a whole other story).
3 years ago I remarried to a wonderful Christian woman who is my rock. The ceremony cost all of $35 at the justice of the peace. We used the money we would have spent on a wedding as a down-payment on a house.
I plan at some point (probably 10 year anniversary) to ask her to marry me again, and renew our vows with a large ceremony (she doesn’t know this), but the marriage is only as solid as the relationship. In my case, $35 bought far more than $25,000 did.
just a thought…
God Bless,
Mica
Also, I want to thank those that did send some financial help my way. I didn’t expect it to be enough to pay off all my debts or make everything better (and I didn’t want it to be a free handout like that). But it was just enough to help me get one step in the right direction and deal with just one stressful thing at the time. Because of the help I received, I’ll be able to pay off the one credit card that has been such a huge pain by next month. The other credit card has my car on it, and because it’s 0% interest until August 2007, I’ll be able to make monthly payments and get it paid off by then or just after.
Stacey and I spoke to my dad before he passed about us getting married. He gave us his blessing and said that he would prefer that we take our time and go into it financially secure (whether he was here or not). So we are not rushing to get an engagement ring or get married at this time. Yes, we are working toward that, as we are still planning to be married in the next 1 - 1 1/2 years. So that gives me time to work on saving up for a ring in the near future.
Also, I won’t be moving out of my father’s house anytime soon. Because my stepmom can’t afford to live there alone (and she doesn’t want to be there alone), she asked me to stay and help her out. Between the two of us, we should be able to handle the mortgage and other bills. If not, we may get a roommate to help out. And this way, it’s still more cost-effective for me rather than getting my own place and paying the rent and utilities on my own.
In the meantime, we are going through my dad’s stuff, handling paperwork, funeral expenses, medical bills, etc. until we get back on our feet and everything is okay.
I will also be paying back everyone that helped me out once things are okay on my end (within the next few months). So thank you again for everything.
Nate,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My father passed away 3 weeks ago. I know it is hard to believe he is gone. I know that this is a hard time for you, and will be for a while. My dad was my hero and I think it will take alot of tears and time to get through this. Stay close to your family and be a comfort to them. Stay strong and know that this is one of the defining moments in your life. Remember you dad and all of the goofy fun times yall had, and know that you have alot of your fathers ways inside of you. Keep ya head up. You will be in my prayers.
Nate I wish you and your family a speedy recovery. Peace
Most people will offer you “condolences” and tell you they are “sorry”. I appreciate the sentiment behind those words, but instead, I will say that I am glad you shared meaningful time with your Dad.
I was 15 when I lost my father to cancer and 6 years later, I feel nothing but grattitude and peace.
Watching someone pass away is as remarkable an experience as watching a new life come into the world.
Death offers us perspective, pause and an opportunity to move forward with renewed purpose. I’m still learning alot about who I am and who my father was, long after his passing.
Take your time moving through the motions and remember how all of them feel. I’m glad you had your father for as long as you did, and that you obviously cultivated a strong connection. Find comfort and courage in your best memories and take care.
sorry about your loss, i belong to another forum and a member in a similar situation did a t-shirt sale for his dad. he sold a lot of shirts and raised a lot of money…just an idea
Nate, I wish you, your family and your friends the best during this hard time.
[quote]toughcasey wrote:
sorry about your loss, i belong to another forum and a member in a similar situation did a t-shirt sale for his dad. he sold a lot of shirts and raised a lot of money…just an idea[/quote]
That’s pretty cool and a very good idea. Thanks for sharing!
Nate,
My condolences on your loss to you and your family.
Ray
Nate’s father passed away June 4th.
Nate, my prayers are with you and your family.
Joe
Nate,
He’s free from the pain, sorry he’s physically out of your life, but I know he’ll be with you spiritually, every day.
I don’t think you should pay anything back. Pay it forward, when the opportunity arises. Those that gave, did so willingly.
I’m glad you got to spend some time with your dad, man. Knowing what’s coming doesn’t always make things easier, but at least you can prepare. I wish you and your stepmom the best of luck.
It is so hard to know what to say to someone who has experienced a great loss. Everything I start to type just sounds too clich?d. My heart goes out to you, and I truly mean that.
Stay in the Word and rest your mind on God’s promises. Read 1 Corinthians 1:8-9
Jessica
Nate,
my condolences to you and your family. I wish you all the best during these hard times.
Michael
Nate,
That’s a tremendous thing that you did, shifting your life around so you could do what you did for him. You’re a better man for it.
Sorry for your loss.