A word of caution – you are her father, but don’t try to be her dad. You will be driving a wedge into a situation that has worked for 6 years. For 6 years, her husband has been her “dad,” don’t try to wrestle that away.
Way to go, P-Dog!
Glad the visit went well. My biological father left right after I was conceived and I never saw him again. Never got a chance to talk with him, get to know him, play ball with him, all that stuff.
And I had a lot of resentment built up inside for years.
That’s why I think that it’s great that you sacked up and stepped forward, which must have been harder than hell to do.
My advice is to continue to ease into it nice and slowly, a little bit at a time. And try not to get possessive and get your feelings hurt when you see that she probably has pretty strong feelings for the only father she’s known for the past six years.
I guarantee, being a father is one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever experience.
thanks for all the kind words guys. i really feel like a huge load is off my back now that ive stepped up and done the right thing.
i just have to remain patient, because i am really anxious to get to know her and make up for lost time. i know that all i can do now is be there for her now and in the future.
i definitley dont want to push anything on her, this is going to be done at her pace. ill keep you posted on how things go over the next few weeks.
Congratulations, P-Dog, you’ve done a good thing for you both you and your lucky daughter.
What made you decide to take this big step to face up to your responsibities? In my humble opionion, it takes a true T-man to do what you did. Best of luck to both of you!
i’d say it’s the biggest mistake. almost as bad as the time you woke up naked with 2 she-males.lol
lexie,
you know i have been trying to pin point exactaly what made me sack up and be a man and i have come up with a few theories.
i think for all these years i was somehow able to block this whole thing out of my consciousness. i was also quite unhappy for the last few years, i always thought it was because of my relationship with my ex but ti think this may have been bothering me deep down.
a few months ago i started substitute teaching thus spending a lot of time with kids her age. i would find myself growing attached to the kids after only seeing them for a couple of days. that just really got me to thinking/ “what the fuck are you doing? you love kids they love you, you have your own daughter and your not even there for her?”
so i think being around all the kids is what really got me thinking. what is great is that now i have found a career path and in the process i have discovered what a beautiful daughter i have. so thinkgs are really on the upswing for me in general. i havent been this happy in years.
you know that feeling you have when you first fall in love with someone? that is how i feel right now at all times. it is great.
i feel that way with tren.
Good job P-dog, sounds like you have the right approach and attitude towards this new relationship with your daughter. I wish you the best of luck.
i just wanted to give a little update.
things are going great between Victoria and I. we have hung out 3 times now, the first time was real awkward and nerve racking but the last two have been great.
we worked on her homework and played soccer and volleyball in the park. clearly she has inherited her dad’s soccer gene. i bought her her first ball the other day.
we talk on the phone everyday and she is opening up more and more each day. she is actually excited to meet me at the park each week which makes me feel real good.
things are going better than expected.
That’s really cool. A girl needs her dad to be there for her. It’s great to hear how well things are going for you two.
Hey, your lucky that her mom was nice in enough to let her back in your life. One thing I got to give you is at least you did support her finacially when you were young. You didn’t screw up that bad. I hate dead beat dad’s which you weren’t and now you can see your daughter. Well good for you!
I believe you will continue to be there for her. Good Luck.
just wanted to give a little update. my daughter, her mom, and step dad came over the house tonight for halloween to meet my parents for the first time. it went great, she was totally comfortable. she played with my dog and cats, talked with my mom, and i also took her trick or treating. this was a major step, within the next few weeks i will be able to spend time with her on my own. happy halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
Glad things are going so well. A child can never have enough people caring about them!!
Happy for all of you.
P-Dog, I missed this thread before. Way to go with all the progress with your daughter. I have two little girls myself. I second everyone elses advice and add one: Thank her step-dad. He did YOUR job for six years and will continue to do it. You should respect him and build a relationship with him. He will influence your daughter more than you, (Sorry, its true. Build an alliance with him. You need his respect or he can destroy your credibility with Victoria.
In faith,
Billy
P-Dog sorry for missing this thread and didn’t chime in earlier. BIG UP’s to you being a MAN and taking care of your responsibilties. I am glad that you got involved in with your daughter in her early years. Rather then lator on when she’s a teenager. It gets harder then. Again I am glad things are going well for you.
In health,
Silas C.
P-Dog,
Kudos on making the right decision.
Beyond that I hope all of the 20 somethings who think its cool to bed a girl and not worry about the consquences are thinking twice.
Every action carrys with it a certain consequence!
P-DOG, it looks as if the biggest mistake of your life–as you put it–is turning out to be the biggest blessing.
Congrats man. It sounds like things are going awesome for you! Her Mom and her husband must be awesome ppl as it sounds like they’re really helping to make this woprk for you two
Well said MD, couldn’t have said it better myself.
In health,
Silas C.
I’ve been following this thread ever since it was first posted, though I never felt I had anything constructive to contribute at the time. I still don’t, but I thought I would commend you on stepping up and being a man. I’m extremely pleased when things work out like this, since so often they don’t.
Good luck - it’s all downhill from here. Until the teenage years of course. 