Ah yes, “fucking the dog”. As in, “Boy, my Philadelphia Flyers are really fucking the dog these playoffs”. I totally forgot about that. The movement I describe as the dogfuck is very close to my expectations for what one would like fucking a large animal. Perhaps “mulefuck” would be more appropriate? Nevertheless, I hate “mulefuckers” and want to smash their head through the closest mirror.
JC, Thanks to your advice my trapazoid is completely healed!
Tomorrow I’ll be super-setting them with delturds. :-),
Momentom: Guy doing curls with dumbbells too heavy for them so they must resort to excessive swinging. Also see Egoconcentric training.
Alice in Wanderland: Not gender-specific. Those who drift aimlessly through the gym, usually from machine to machine.
It's NAAFA my fault: Pudgy people who spend two hours doing slow-go cardio and then order a large, "healthy" smoothie.
ohnosecond - the moment you realize you CAN’T squat X plates per side and are about to get stapled to the floor OR the moment you realize the big, dumb, steroid monkey across the gym just heard you call him a ‘big, dumb, steroid monkey’
Mr. Fitness - A man or woman, usually man he feels the need to wear weights on his wrists and ankles thinking that he is in better shape than everyone in the gym for that reason
Damn. This thread done exploded. I gots a couple more:
Cardi-ho: (n) Individual who adheres to a strict regimine of cross-town running and post “workout” drinks consisting of wheat grass and various chlorophyl-containing complexes for fear that weights will make him “too big”.
Ripped Fool- (n) Individual who, upon lifting a thermogenic product from a shelf asks confusedly: "Will this make me huge 'cause I don't wanna get like they all are in the magazines?"
MBE: "America's official Flavor of Doom since 2030."
-Eric
Actually, “cardi-ho” (also spelled “cardi-jo” in some south Texas dialects) has another meaning as well.
Second meaning: Cardi-ho (n) woman (usually) with whom the act of sex invariably entails an energy expenditure of at least 850 calories. Ex: “I was hoping to get a quick blowjob lying on my back, but nooooo; she turned out to be a total cardi-ho and now I’ve lost all my MAG-10 gains.”
ShawnRay [noun], to shawnray [verb], shawnrayish [adj] - skinnyfat who usually follows me around trying to copy my routine. ShawnRay usually suffers from severe IL syndrome, does not change body composition despite regularly following biceps-chest routine for years, despises paying attention to food intake and likes to engage in the infamous bench press/upright row combination with his spotter (who is usually also a ShawnRay). May be a deltard at the same time. An average ShawnRay does 2 hour warm up and stretching session, has 3-hour long workouts with total of 4 sets, one of which is unassisted and takes 3 hour long showers. They are also known for talking to themselves, lockers and various non-sentient items of equal intelligence.
To Axy: Pretty good!
Taste bud: (n, usually plural) Twin bumps found on the chests of fashion models who keep themselves thin by reducing calories to starvation levels, binging and purging, and avoiding all dietary fat. More prevalent in the 80s than now, taste buds may finally be becoming obsolete.
High Reps: The last few reps on a set of breathing squats that have you stumbling around light-headed and unable to control your legs like you just smoked a pound all by yourself.
Clean Jerk: The guy who seems to always be waiting impatiently for you to finish your squat workout so he can get into the rack and do curls with the empty bar. Called the Clean Jerk because he never actually works out hard enough to break a sweat.
Snatch: The girl in the gym with a so-so body who thinks shes brittney spears and just rolls her eyes and shakes her head anytime a guy smiles at her or god forbid tries to say hello.
Dinglebellers:(N)- A person or people whom congregate in front of the dumbbell rack engrossed in flailing arm movements with 15 lb dumbbells, blocking the racks.
Usage:- Damn, those dinglebellers are in front of the 85’s, those bastards.
Squeef:(N)- The sound made by a female weightlifter while doing either ass to the grass squats or other olympic lifts. Usage:- Man, did you hear Jamie squeef while breaking parallel?
Saggage:(Adj)- Droopy old men who wander the locker room naked.
Usage: Tom, don’t go in the sauna, there is a saggage meeting in there.
Sausage Fest:(N)- when there are 2 or more saggage roamers congregating. Usage: Thanks for warning me Nick, There is a sausage fest in the sauna.
latest addition:
Ass Menagerie (n)- Group of two (2) or more T-vixens standing in a linear or semi-linear formation.
useage- “Yo, when you’re done with this set check out the ass menagerie near the window.”
MBE: " Inked, pierced, built, and still a raving geek since 1980."
-Eric
Mustbecoldinhere - The guy who always wears a stocking cap (the kind you wear when it is snowing out) to the gym at all times. It does not matter what temperature it is, and usually it goes along well with his apparell of a wife beater or another cutoff shirt. This can also refer to the girls who are nipping out.
Alwaysbetter- The guy who informs you that he has a brother/cousin/friend/dad/uncle etc that is either stronger/bigger/more lean/gets more pussy/is a better cook than you are. This brother/cousin/friend/dad/unlce somehow never comes in to work out at the gym though, because he "lives somewhere else and I don't see him very often, but I just know he is hyooooge."
CaptainBigDog - The guys who actually have clothes that say "BigDog" somewhere on them. And no, they didn't get them for free.
MirrorMaster - any exercise performed by this patron must be done in front of the mirror. Though this may involve moving different equipment or hauling the dumbbells across the gym it must be done. Usually the mirrormaster only wears sleeveless shirts. This can also be used to refer to the guys or girls who do their posing session right in front of everyone at the gym because arniedid.
PhD - This man or woman always informs you of what you are doing wrong when lifting, what you should be doing, why they are right, and why they are better than you. Even though this person is smaller and weaker than you, they feel it is their duty to help. Usage: I’m glad PhD over there helped me out with my squats before my knees blew out because I was going so low.
The Ebboriggamy- When you see a hot fitness babe with someone who ressembles Ebb from Green Acres.
thumper(n): a fool who always lets the dumbbells come crashing to the floor after doing a set of some kind of db press. usually done for attention and closely related to the Egocentric training mentioned in another entry.
Usage: “What the hell was that bang? Oh, there is some thumper over there doin’ db military presses.”
Axis of Heaval- straight line path between the squat rack & the nearest washroom.
Dead Ringer- what everyone hopes becomes of the guy who brought his cell phone into the weight room
I have a new one to add. S.S. Intruder - A person who cuts into your super set just when you need to finish it.
DR.LAURA(SCHLESSINGER):person who’s overly critical of other people while denying their own shortcomings, usually spends his/her time in the gym worrying about what everyone else is doing and coming up with clever and cute nicknames; “Those people on MonkeyBoy’s thread are a bunch of Dr.Lauras”.
I can’t believe no one has come up with these two especially since they live in the gym I go to:
GatewaytotheWest (n): Related to egocentric training where the turd cannot properly lift or curl the weight so he resorts to arching his back to the shape of the St Louis Arch.
Clonetroopers (n): Staff people who prescribe the same routine no matter who it is, which usually consists of Cardio, very light weights, and rubber band resistence.
(BTW, I need help in coming up with a word that describes these two guys in the gym who do the same exercise for their entire body, every day, for 2-3hours at a time. Overtrainers.)