So, in search for answers, I covered my genitalia with Skippy’s extra crunchy (that was all we had!), and Upon realizing that I did not possess a cat, embarked upon a mission to find a stray Kitty in the neighborhood.
sans clothing, of course.
the looks that I got from the neighbors was not what I had expected.
Instead of horror, I saw jealousy in their eyes.
I quickly realized as I strolled through the neighborhood naked with peanut butter slathered all over my genitals that kitty cats were not the only animals attracted to peanut butter or genitals.
Aardvarks, anteaters and other proboscis-bearing mammals seemed to approach to sample my crunchy 'nut butter, which turned out to be more pleasant than I expected!
But the largest of these predators thas was on the prowl for PB was the mysterious Lanky Mofo.
who took a shit on the bench
and then consumed it because he was on a “see food” diet
LankyMofo then yelled “NO MORE PARODY THREADS!” and it was so done.
Then everyone died along with this thread.
And then grumpy ol IronDwarf got a poo-poo infection and spent hours in the toilet praying to the Gods for solid poop!
But the Gods of poop were unkind and said unto Iron Dwarf “Thou shall not pass!” to which Iron Dwarf raised a solitary finger skyward, pointing to where those Gods might dwell.
Those gods were angry and smote him with a lightning bolt which gave him the inability to lie, so the next thing he said was…
[quote]Stern wrote:
But the Gods of poop were unkind and said unto Iron Dwarf “Thou shall not pass!” to which Iron Dwarf raised a solitary finger skyward, pointing to where those Gods might dwell.[/quote]
Kinda like this.
[quote]Nards wrote:
Those gods were angry and smote him with a lightning bolt which gave him the inability to lie, so the next thing he said was…[/quote]
LMFAO!
There’s no way ID and me are making love! That’s impossible!
He’s all the way in New Jersey and I’m in Taiwan and my dick only reaches to Hawaii.
that story went to hell fast. but in the end, true love triumphs!
new story -
I rolled out of the bed this morning, and saw that my liver was sitting next to me, glaring at me.
I said that I was sorry for the previous night. it said that it wasn’t mad at me, just disappointed.
so then I…
[quote]Edgy wrote:
that story went to hell fast. but in the end, true love triumphs!
new story -
I rolled out of the bed this morning, and saw that my liver was sitting next to me, glaring at me.
I said that I was sorry for the previous night. it said that it wasn’t mad at me, just disappointed.
so then I…[/quote]
fried it up with onions and butter for breakfast. Then I…
threw it out the window
got drunk and woke up to have the same liver staring indignantly at me like before, of course it was alittle fried and looked like it was sprinkled with salt.
again, it said that it was disappointed in me.
i felt bad.
