Updates have been rather infrequent but I’ll explain below. I probably should’ve posted about it earlier but school’s picked up and I now have midterms, essays, oral examinations, and the like to try and get done and prepared for before Thanksgiving starts. It’s been hectic.
Two main things have occurred over the last three weeks or so:
Firstly: I saw an athletic trainer about my back. It’s still bothering me slightly, even though I haven’t been to the gym in a while. He thinks it has to do with spinal fluid, so he’s having me try a few exercises to help. No squats or deadlifts, and I’ve decided to just cut the gym altogether in that case to prevent bad form from fucking anything else up. I visited him again after two weeks, and if my back is still hurting next term he’s setting me up with a personal trainer. I’m supposed to do front squats from now on as well, which will suck at first but I’ll adjust.
Secondly: The cravings. At around the same time, my body started to crave fruit because I’d had so little of it in weeks. At the same time, it’s begun rejecting the food I normally eat. Pasta makes me want to vomit, and the pasta sauce that used to be my favorite is now completely repulsive to me. All milk that I’ve been drinking tastes kind of stale, even though I’ve gone through different gallons of it. Chocolate’s also become bitter- even chocolate I used to really like. I’ve started going to a different dining center, but my options are limited- there isn’t much that I can buy on campus that I can cook for a reasonable number of calories, and not much in the dining centers that’s open when I need it to be open. I got my hands on some multivitamins and I’m going to see if those help, because the way things are I just can’t physically get through some of my meals, and not only am I sure that I’ve lost weight but I’m losing a bunch of energy as well.
I tried to ignore it for the first week or so, but the taste difference just got more extreme, and then I found out a friend’s sister had gotten scurvy while at college and decided that I probably needed to deal with this shit.
The goal is to get back in the gym next term without back pain, which should be doable, and at 120 lbs. If I lose weight, I want to regain it before then and continue on as though nothing had happened. Luckily I’m going home for Thanksgiving on Wednesday, which means that I can bring back food with me (no car, so I can’t really go off campus to shop) and just be able to binge eaet with some more accessibility for a bit. I’m going to weigh myself tomorrow, find out how much I lost, and try to find different ways to regain it than the standard “burgers, burritos, pasta, chocolate, and milk” diet that I was living on for a few weeks.
I’m going to up my fruit intake in the meantime, but I’m going to be dipping it into vast amounts of chocolate and peanut butter until the craving settles, and then try to eat something more fattening as well. If I eat enough peanut butter, I can still hit 3K calories and probably bounce back from whatever loss I’ve caused. Hopefully vitamins speed up the process as well. I should also be hungrier since I’m not condensing my protein as much, so the food should get through my system faster in general.
I’ll update rather sporadically in the meantime. I feel incredibly guilty because it feels as though I keep on putting my goals off- “I’ll eat better later, later, later, later…” and every time I do make gains I feel as though I lose them immediately afterwards. It’s frustrating, but it’s entirely my own fault. These are excuses. They are NOT JUSTIFICATION. I knew my diet was imbalanced and should have been on top of this earlier. But when you make excuses you learn, and hopefully I wont be nearly as stupid the next time.
Edit: And while I’m not getting vegetable cravings, those are getting included as well.
