Social Media Whoring and Death

Off Topic
1

Over the past couple years several students have passed away at my high school. Each time someone passes away, it seems as though everyone uses this time on social media to draw attention to themselves. Many say they were close with the person when they weren’t. I have even seen ,“I didn’t know them at all but…” The most disturbing thing I’ve seen on social media was shortly after someone died, people were posting pictures of the person and saying “I’m so sad” with crying emoticons. (the ones on iphones.)

I’m sorry but anything that contains emojis can’t be serious. Is it wrong of me to feel that in these situations, people are just looking to gain attention for themselves rather than the person who passed away. I’ve always taken death seriously, and just the thought saddens me. I feel it takes away the meaning of something when you have to broadcast it to the world. Not only that, but it disrespects the family and friends of the person who passed away, because they actually were close to the person. What’s your take on this? Am I taking things way too seriously?

2

There’s no innately right or wrong way to grieve. If these kids are making inappropriate posts, it’s because they haven’t been taught otherwise.

Most likely what’s happening is that they are slowing moving the bar so that in 10-15 years, crying emoticons and a facebook post will be considered appropriate.

:frowning:

3

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
There’s no innately right or wrong way to grieve. If these kids are making inappropriate posts, it’s because they haven’t been taught otherwise.

Most likely what’s happening is that they are slowing moving the bar so that in 10-15 years, crying emoticons and a facebook post will be considered appropriate.

:([/quote]

It just seems to me, people are less concerned with the individuals and more concerned with “likes” and getting patted on the back for being a “good person”… I just can’t comprehend how someone could think this is okay. I’m sorry , but someone’s life should not be reduced to a tweet,facebook post, or instagram picture. It’s just ridiculous to me. But like I said, maybe some would say I’m too serious about this.

4

[quote]SirTroyRobert wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
There’s no innately right or wrong way to grieve. If these kids are making inappropriate posts, it’s because they haven’t been taught otherwise.

Most likely what’s happening is that they are slowing moving the bar so that in 10-15 years, crying emoticons and a facebook post will be considered appropriate.

:([/quote]

It just seems to me, people are less concerned with the individuals and more concerned with “likes” and getting patted on the back for being a “good person”… I just can’t comprehend how someone could think this is okay. I’m sorry , but someone’s life should not be reduced to a tweet,facebook post, or instagram picture. It’s just ridiculous to me. But like I said, maybe some would say I’m too serious about this.[/quote]
Everyone wants to be recognized as being a snowflake, special and unique.

In the real adult world this is far, far from the truth. No matter how smart you think you are there is someone smarter, no matter how strong you think you are there is someone stronger, faster, richer, better looking, gets laid more, funnier and the list goes on.

Social media lets you portray a “snapshot” of how great you are without having any substantial proof and no accountability.

Please like my post with a 1 million likes I get a puppy in the mail that can do calculus.

5

I second what Derek and the good Dr. Pangloss said, with some additional thoughts.

This sort of eulogizing is nothing new. Social media just gives people a new outlet to do it. A good friend of mine killed himself while we were in high school. He gained dozens of good friends after his tragic death, and my association with him put me in some sort of elevated macabre social standing for a period. This all struck me as very odd at the time. In hindsight, I don’t think it was inherently disrespectful. Some of those people may have done bad things to him, or had regrets that they were not better friends to this guy and that may have only sunk home after his death. I don’t know for sure, and judging others based on my perception of their actions would not change anything about the situation.

As a side-note, I’m only 34, but very out-of-touch with the social media generation. I choose to not partake in this new social ritual that is Facebook. I don’t know if that is a good or bad idea for someone who is high school aged today.

Best of luck to you.

6

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]SirTroyRobert wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
There’s no innately right or wrong way to grieve. If these kids are making inappropriate posts, it’s because they haven’t been taught otherwise.

Most likely what’s happening is that they are slowing moving the bar so that in 10-15 years, crying emoticons and a facebook post will be considered appropriate.

:([/quote]

It just seems to me, people are less concerned with the individuals and more concerned with “likes” and getting patted on the back for being a “good person”… I just can’t comprehend how someone could think this is okay. I’m sorry , but someone’s life should not be reduced to a tweet,facebook post, or instagram picture. It’s just ridiculous to me. But like I said, maybe some would say I’m too serious about this.[/quote]
Everyone wants to be recognized as being a snowflake, special and unique.

In the real adult world this is far, far from the truth. No matter how smart you think you are there is someone smarter, no matter how strong you think you are there is someone stronger, faster, richer, better looking, gets laid more, funnier and the list goes on.

Social media lets you portray a “snapshot” of how great you are without having any substantial proof and no accountability.

Please like my post with a 1 million likes I get a puppy in the mail that can do calculus. [/quote]

Exactly. People post things about working out, religion, charity, etc. Things that are meant for yourself. If you have to tell everyone you did some charity work to feel good about yourself, were you really doing charity? In my eyes, it’s bargaining. You do something so that in return you will feel as if you are a good person and so you can tell people about how charitable you are.

7

[quote]twojarslave wrote:
I second what Derek and the good Dr. Pangloss said, with some additional thoughts.

This sort of eulogizing is nothing new. Social media just gives people a new outlet to do it. A good friend of mine killed himself while we were in high school. He gained dozens of good friends after his tragic death, and my association with him put me in some sort of elevated macabre social standing for a period. This all struck me as very odd at the time. In hindsight, I don’t think it was inherently disrespectful. Some of those people may have done bad things to him, or had regrets that they were not better friends to this guy and that may have only sunk home after his death. I don’t know for sure, and judging others based on my perception of their actions would not change anything about the situation.

As a side-note, I’m only 34, but very out-of-touch with the social media generation. I choose to not partake in this new social ritual that is Facebook. I don’t know if that is a good or bad idea for someone who is high school aged today.

Best of luck to you.[/quote]

I know everything is based on perception. What I may consider wrong may not be wrong to so and so. But it just weirds me out how people will use anything , even someones death to put themselves in the spotlight.

8

[quote]SirTroyRobert wrote:
Exactly. People post things about working out, religion, charity, etc. Things that are meant for yourself. If you have to tell everyone you did some charity work to feel good about yourself, were you really doing charity? In my eyes, it’s bargaining. You do something so that in return you will feel as if you are a good person and so you can tell people about how charitable you are. [/quote]

Well, it’s good you recognize that, and recognize that reality and perception aren’t the same thing.

As long as you don’t get yourself caught up in the perception/reputation games, you should be fine. There is a time and place for grooming one’s reputation, so it is a skill to have, but it’s no substitute for actual success.

Just do your thing, and leave others to do theirs.

9

It is good that you are reflecting on this.

Welcome to the Decent Human Being Club. You get a 3% discount at Costco now.

10

[quote]twojarslave wrote:
It is good that you are reflecting on this.

Welcome to the Decent Human Being Club. You get a 3% discount at Costco now.[/quote]

Lol it’s a dream come true. Someone just recently died in my community, which sparked a wave of social media posts, which made me reflect upon this topic once again. Just wanted to share my thoughts and see what other opinions people had. I like to try and see things from every point of view.

11

Watched this a few days ago. I’m so glad I’m in my thirties.

12

if it’s not on social media, it dint happen.

13

[quote]Aggv wrote:
if it’s not on social media, it dint happen. [/quote]
That’s the mentality these days.

14

I’m a sucker for “Dear Abby” type of columns and read one the other day. A corporate recruiter writes in and says she can’t find any MySpace/Facebook posts for a 22 year old woman she’s considering hiring. She thinks it’s a bad sign and asks the advice columnist if she would be correct in disqualifying her for the job based on a lack of social media presence.

That’s messed up.

15

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I’m a sucker for “Dear Abby” type of columns and read one the other day. A corporate recruiter writes in and says she can’t find any MySpace/Facebook posts for a 22 year old woman she’s considering hiring. She thinks it’s a bad sign and asks the advice columnist if she would be correct in disqualifying her for the job based on a lack of social media presence.

That’s messed up.[/quote]

I’d rather find nothing, than find all the BS people post on twitter/facebook etc. That really is messed up.

16

[quote]SirTroyRobert wrote:
The most disturbing thing I’ve seen on social media was shortly after someone died, people were posting pictures of the person and saying “I’m so sad” with crying emoticons. (the ones on iphones.)[/quote]

Yes.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t people who aren’t looking for a pat on the back(are you not in a way doing that right now though?) or attempting to take advantage of awful situations, but ‘the most disturbing thing’ is that some teenage girl posts a picture of her dead friend and says it makes her cry as part of her mourning process? C’mon now.

17

[quote]red04 wrote:

[quote]SirTroyRobert wrote:
The most disturbing thing I’ve seen on social media was shortly after someone died, people were posting pictures of the person and saying “I’m so sad” with crying emoticons. (the ones on iphones.)[/quote]

Yes.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t people who aren’t looking for a pat on the back(are you not in a way doing that right now though?) or attempting to take advantage of awful situations, but ‘the most disturbing thing’ is that some teenage girl posts a picture of her dead friend and says it makes her cry as part of her mourning process? C’mon now.
[/quote]

I never said the people who actually were close to the person who passed away. It was more directed at people that don’t know the person , and suddenly was best friends with them after they passed.

19

I know exactly what you’re talking about. Any school is just a relatively small community. People who didn’t know or ever have anything to do with the deceased would often feign some kind of being deeply, emotionally touched online in order to foster a closer relationship between themselves and others in that community who actually did know the deceased. A lot of times it had to do with using the incident to form some kind of shared experience connection with a girl you liked. Sounds fucked up, but I saw it too, and I know exactly what you’re talking about OP, and I don’t think you are off base in the slightest.

20

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I’m a sucker for “Dear Abby” type of columns and read one the other day. A corporate recruiter writes in and says she can’t find any MySpace/Facebook posts for a 22 year old woman she’s considering hiring. She thinks it’s a bad sign and asks the advice columnist if she would be correct in disqualifying her for the job based on a lack of social media presence.

That’s messed up.[/quote]
WTF

I actually look at FB to make sure they are not whores and frat boys before I hire them.