Oof
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I don’t understand why men still get the shaft in divorces today. Especially when not at fault or if the divorce is a mutual decision. Spousal support makes zero sense to me.
Women have the rights and enablement to take care of themselves and this should factor in to resource division. I also don’t understand lopsided custody, without cause. And I don’t understand child support heavily landing on fathers considering both female enablement to earn and court ordered decisions to reduce the father’s time and contact. I’ll support our kid with my resources while I have her, you do your part while you have her. (We’re not divorced, just projecting through).
In any case I see failed relationships as a two way street, and absentee fatherhood is a problem in its own lane. I don’t understand the fuck them and leave them mentality coupled with the “manosphere” view of single moms. I understand the fuck them and leave them mentality, especially during certain ages and stages, but at least own what you’re doing if you’re going to do it. You’re 50/50 in it.
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One issue you fail to take into account is that many/most of the men decrying the situation (“the situation” being, seemingly, women) prefer traditional gender roles, which leaves women significantly less able to care for themselves in the long term - even as far out as social security. My retirement benefits are stunted due to my time at home with kids.
However, given the fact women are granted equal rights and do currently have an advantage to levy in the court system, the decision to appease and stay home is mutual.
And the man doesn’t have her at home keeping the house tidy and preparing meals in retirement if divorced, so there is still trade-off.
I think you completely misunderstood her.
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I cannot post much now. I’ll leave this here for now.
If you can spare just four minutes, listen to the just the first four minutes of this conversation to find out what is done to mostly men (it can happen to women, but it occurs far less) in no-fault divorce, not just enforced spousal support.
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I didn’t, but considering the landscape that we have vs. the surmised scenarios in existential debates I’m not willing to concede responsibility of outcome.
Let’s let her chime in. @EmilyQ what do you think?
I’m starting to enjoy these with you.
I think people are overusing and misusing the term existential. It’s similar to how the word literal is misused. One of you could at least quote Kierkegaard or something.
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But she might be the one carrying more of the burden of raising the child. So sure, tell her to get a job but know that you’ll be paying someone else to care for the kid while she’s working. That’s the trade off in this situation; your kid being raised by a parent vs strangers at daycare. And you pay either way.
I was literally making a joke about how the contract guy thinks he’s having an existential debate.
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Smart ass.
Lol 10 responses, one person clicked the link.
No discussion on 70-90% of no fault divorces being initiated by women or the damages it causes to the kids.
Nothing to see here, folks. Just women putting their own happiness before their children’s safety.
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We didn’t have a problem. My wife works because she wants to and has found a role she’s passionate about, and would probably fulfill in a charity situation if she wasn’t employed anyways.
To each their own but daycare was great. We were very selective in the one we chose, interviewed mgmt and classroom workers, made sure cameras were available and recording at all times et cetera.
It was a phenomenal experience. Our daughter recently started kindergarten and it’s a review for her. She’s been having playdates outside of school for years and it’s fun to watch her reuniting with her old friends who’ve split to different schools. Heartwarming even. In addition to academia, she gets notes sent home talking about how well she plays with others, and even acts as a leader in group settings. Some of this is personality, but it’s also not her first rodeo with friends.
Anyways, daycare is a viable option for care. So are Nannie’s, au pairs and a variety of others. I wouldn’t say they’re raising the kids they care for at all. That hasn’t been our experience so I’m not going to chase that tangent with you.
Women can’t have their cake and eat it too, and we all own the consequences of our decisions. If they’re going to be a big girl and do the career thing, then they can own it. All of it. They can pay for their own child care when it’s their turn, especially if the divorce is because of them or “not at fault”, which I intentionally included in my post and am not going to deviate from. I’ve noticed a theme of entitlement lately.
I don’t want to lose the ball again, another theme. Women are enabled and capable of earning. And they are choosing to. They don’t get to be victims clawing for spousal support, unbalanced child support contributions et cetera and be free to provide too. It’s a brave new world. Women are free and equal and they can start living like it.
And innocent men (and yes, some women) having their lives destroyed.
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It was a hilarious joke.
And United Healthcare owes you an unlimited stream of money without question or consideration, because you’re alive and you deserve it.
My mistake.
That was not a hilarious joke.
But you get a sticker for sarcasm.
It wasn’t a joke. You’re right, companies should just pay no matter what. Contracts should be enforced in a one-sided manner and without consideration for ethics, fiduciary responsibility or continuance. There is no reason a consumer should ever be burdened with making themselves aware of what a voluntarily subscribed service provides before entering an agreement. That would be stupid.
I’ve learned.
Now weave that back through marriage and the current state of divorce proceedings so we can stay on track.
Solipsistic self-involved bullshit artists
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I’m not sure about learning another person’s pov, but your sarcasm is getting better.
I like you, but I think you take yourself too seriously.
Edit: Although I’m about to write the equivalent of a blog post about bananas on this forum, so seriousness isn’t my focus.
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