Similar Experiences with Death

I awoke in the wee hours this morning, and finding myself in need of relieving the pressure on my bladder, lest it rupture, permeating my bedsheets with a fine mist of fish-oil-scented urine, I made my way to the lavatory. Toward the last leg of the venture (it usually takes me about forty-five seconds one way), I carefully studied the dark floor, as to avoid tripping over my canine companion, who happens to exactly match the hue of the carpet, especially in low-light conditions with poor sub-ocular visibility.

Having concluded that may way was unobstructed, I boldly stepped forth, only to tumble over said beast, lacerating my third toe in the process, which continued to ensanguinize the better part of my bathroom floor. I took special care to splash several drops of urine on the wound, so as to prevent bacterial infection. On the return trip, I turned on the light, so as to not injure myself further, when I realized that mine dog was splayed about in a rather awkward position.

It occurred to me that he was dead.

His head was craned up more than perpendicular to the rest of his body, say, one-hundred degrees, by my estimation, and his neck was neatly lodged between the wooden bars of the railing. I began to wonder if I had killed him by possibly exacerbating this already dangerous situation by, one would imagine, moving him abruptly and violently causing his neck to be broken, and, consequently, invoking death.

Returning to the comforts of mine bed, I decided he had most likely died previously, for I remembered hearing no loud snapping noises that would indicate the destruction of his spinal column. He did have cancer, after all.

I am not looking for sympathy, I only wish to know that I am not alone in my experience. Who else has tripped over the corpse of a close friend, and wondered if you had killed them? Feel free to keep the details vague, pending ongoing criminal investigations.

Thank you for your empathy and consideration in this troubling time.

I honestly have no idea how to respond to this.

No, I’ve never tripped over the corpse of a friend.

The day my dog died was one of the worst days of my entire life. I can’t imagine joking about it, if your story is actually valid.

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
I honestly have no idea how to respond to this.

No, I’ve never tripped over the corpse of a friend.

The day my dog died was one of the worst days of my entire life. I can’t imagine joking about it, if your story is actually valid.[/quote]

I’m dealing with my grief through humor.

Do you always speak like that or is your other best friend Mr. Thesaurus??

[quote]erikeve wrote:
Do you always speak like that or is your other best friend Mr. Thesaurus??[/quote]

I enjoy writing in a highly stylized fashion, though I speak like a normal person. On most days.

Sucks man, sorry to hear it.

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
erikeve wrote:
Do you always speak like that or is your other best friend Mr. Thesaurus??

I enjoy writing in a highly stylized fashion, though I speak like a normal person. On most days.[/quote]

Thats cool man. No offense but it seemed so strangely written that it didn’t seem serious.

Sorry about your dog.

As far as experiences with death. On average my dogs manage to kill some wild critter about once a month. Hopefully no one ever stumbles upon the “bone yard” that is starting to develop in the field next to my house.

don’t get me started on death…I told that motherfucker to stick his reaper up his ass while I sunk his battleship


[quote]Jrocco wrote:
…[/quote]

Excellent!

Grim Reaper: I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with the candlestick.
Dead Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Dead Ted: No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!
Dead Ted: I don’t believe this guy!

no seriously man…my intestines buckled in, a rare condition called an intussception. It happens to horses and babies. I went to the hospital with what I thought was a virus and they were like…u have to have surgery. You may have a tumor in your gut and you will probably not make it through the operation.

I was abused and starved on a clear liquid diet during the hospital stay. I threw my ventilator at the nurse because she refused to help me after I pissed and shat on myself…i beaned that bitch right in the head.

I nearly experienced the death of my testicle via testicular torsion. Due to quick thinking and a doc with magical hands, it was saved, and has been working fine every since.

nice avatar