Bobbi…nothing wrong with my bench per say, just merely significant suckitude. I find it to be really fun, but I am so poorly versed on the lift itself (its meaning, function, mechanics, etc…I need to read up) and under trained that it is comedic for me to see how far it trails behind my two other lifts.
Lindsay…UE is the best and the worst in terms of getting something for nothing but feeling pretty lame. but that uniform…thats the death of me. I could go strip for more money and not be lying to myself about what my role was. If I had stayed there, I would have been untrue to my morals. Those girls at the restaurant are there to look like escorts to make a good tip and keep bringing back male customers. Lets now pretend it is anything else but that.
What did you do before for work?
ouroboro…you can damn the monkey arms all you want, but I can’t even believe that arch you have goin on in your avi. Crazy.
I like that everyone is giving me their experience with grip width and such. Since my arms are, I assume, proportional to my body (fingers crossed), I would not say they are long or short…ok, maybe shorter. Unfortunately, since today is my last real press, I don’t really have time to try out different grip positions…although I may just have to give it a go if it will put on 5 pounds.
Also, I get equal voices saying “yes belt” and “no belt.” Sometimes though, especially when talking with women at Todds, I have to remember whatever they are saying is coming from the mentality of using gear, meaning almost all the women use gear and I must take that into account .
I have no desire really whatsoever to compete with gear. Because it is SO dominate within PL, I will not articulate WHY I don’t want to use it. But I don’t. However, I fully understand and respect the idea that nothing can beat when you achieve an outrageous number and how it makes you feel. I do feel bad that competing raw can almost makes it a totally different sport, and the feeling that if you compete raw, you aren’t REALLY competing with the big boys of the sport. In this case I do refer to the men I know and how amazing it is to squat 900 lbs…not gonna happen raw (well maybe…any examples???).
Nevertheless, I will try a belt today and see how it feels.
I’m feeling a little sluggish today. Once I let me brain latch on to the idea that carbs are ok right now and I don’t need to lose any weight and maybe even gain some…all my diet laurels flew…no, jumped to their death, right out the fucking window. Right now I am eating about 4 meals clean, with the usual pro/fat mix. But the carbs. The carbs are taking over my life. Last night was delicious but not clean in any sense of the word. I had a burger we made at home, a few beers, and cookies with chocolate milk. Ok, so its bad. And I KNOW I made those choices. And honestly, no real regrets. I have put on a few, but I know that right now it is actually a good thing. For the first time in my life EVER, I can put on a few and feel good about it. I actually think I need to, since before I came to PW I was on the other side, I literally felt like I had an eating disorder just THINKING about food and how it would effect my body. When all I surrounded myself with was pictures of beautiful lean fitness models, yeah, I’ll admit it, I got a complex. I just didn’t feel good enough. But now that I am here, now that I have been rescued, things are starting to change. Here where women are powerful and strong and beautiful, even if I have never seen their faces, their determination, dedication, and power speak volumes of beauty no make-up could ever produce. So I look at my body differently lately. Differently in the sense that it is so much better than I ever could have thought. We have a pretty good pact now. I visualize the movement and she moves the weight around. And no, this is not a justification for eating the cookies. But fuck justification. I wanted some motherfucking cookies. And I had some. And I liked it.
For my own sanity, sometimes I just need to eat cookies.
yeah.
Ok apologies for the verbal vomit.
Benching later.