Feeling pretty good today. Started with the usual 20min LISS first thing in the morning, trained arms and calves this afternoon followed by 20min LISS. Medium 1800 calorie day. It’s also been about 70 degrees here in NJ the past few days, absolutely beautiful out, which always makes life a little brighter. Gonna snow next week, enjoying it while it lasts.
Also got a ton of writing done today, always feels good to have a productive day of working, especially in a prep. Making a living from writing original music, I have to be “creative” every day, which means being in a decent enough mental state to think of music that sounds good. Something I was thinking about earlier today, last year when I was still teaching, while I certainly didn’t feel good towards the end of the prep, I could still go into school and be a good teacher. If my brain is toasted, writing is near impossible. Fortunately working from home full time now and waking up at 7:30/8 instead of 5am for cardio, I’m still able to be productive. This year is the best year yet for my business, which is really motivating and rewarding as it’s my first year working from home as a business owner and out of the public work force. Excited for the future for sure.
This past week is the worst sleep I’ve ever had, every night, just part of the deal. I fall asleep anywhere from midnight-3am, I’ve tried to lay in bed earlier and “force” myself to get tired by just relaxing and staying calm, it doesn’t work. If I’m wide awake, I come downstairs, read a bit, wait to get tired and try again. Last night on my high carb day I felt tired and was in bed by midnight, and was able to sleep until 8, but I woke up about 10-12 times throughout the night (no exaggeration.) I’ve tried upping my Z12 dose from 3 to 4, nighttime tea, no bright lights/TV, in desperation I even tried NyQuil and that didn’t help, the only thing it did was leave me feeling super groggy and hung over the next morning.
In an effort to aid sleep, we changed my last meal from egg whites, tuna and 1/2oz almonds to three whole eggs and some tuna. Same overall cals, but hoping that the 15g fat from the eggs, compared to the small amount from the almonds, will make me fuller and trick my body enough to sleep better. We’ll see, tonight is the first night, hoping it works. Sleep has been pretty much fine up until this point, there have been some nights where I wake up in the middle of the night wide awake, come downstairs for a bit, then head back up and fall asleep again. So, overall it’s been manageable. Two nights ago I tried to fall asleep three times between 10:30 and 3am and couldn’t. Sitting on the couch at 2:30am, starving and pissed I couldn’t sleep…but just stayed focused on the show. Pain, stress, “suffering” is temporary. Knowing I gave my all every instant of the prep, and that the package I’m going to bring will be the very best I’m capable of, is forever, and will be well worth it.
Going through a prep really gives a new appreciation for “civilian” life. Eating maintenance calories feels like a feast every day. Sleeping normally is a luxury. Not bringing my cooler to family events is exciting. I’m learning more about myself this year and what I’m truly capable of, and am more motivated than ever.
3 weeks from today is the first show, after that we’ll have 14 weeks until the Hercules. We’re planning on dialing back for sure, staying tight and having another hard push into the Hercules. Really pumped for the show as it’s so close, and also looking forward to feeling normal again (at least for a little while!)