[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
So much good stuff here written so well…
I’d just add this: similar sex drives. You can both want it once a month or 3x a week, but when one person wants it once a month and the other 3x a week, there can be problems.[/quote]
After being married 17 or our 23 years together, she still lets me snort Hott Roxx off her nekkid bod.
and that’s why you’re my hero.
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
So much good stuff here written so well…
I’d just add this: similar sex drives. You can both want it once a month or 3x a week, but when one person wants it once a month and the other 3x a week, there can be problems.[/quote]
After being married 17 or our 23 years together, she still lets me snort Hott Roxx off her nekkid bod.[/quote]
You want to ignore Edgy then, unless you enjoy being kicked in the Hott Roxx and watching HBO on Doc’s couch.
Using my many years of marital experience to help people. So nice.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]dt79 wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]CLINK wrote:
[quote]dt79 wrote:
Marriages that I’ve seen where couples were “best friends” or “soul mates” before rarely last unless both grew up together.[/quote]
My wife and I are the exception… if that indeed is a rule.
[/quote]
I wasn’t going to say anything, but that statement had me scratching my head too. Maybe the soul mate portion (does anyone actually think that?), but the best friend part is strange to me. I can’t imagine not being married to my best friend. [/quote]
I wrote what I’ve seen and heard. I’m always to go to guy when friends (both male and female) have marital problems because I’m perceived as the most stable guy with a marriage devoid of any drama. Plus my wife has no problem with me going out late at night to drink with them and hear all the sob stories.
I cannot give you a reason why. All I can say is the ones that had the closest “best friends” relationship when married are the ones that spew the most hate for their spouse a decade later, and shit usually starts because they start misinterpreting one another’s intentions behind their actions when times get rough.
As I wrote on the previous page, I hate hearing about all this crap in real life. If you have a successful marriage of a nature contrary to what I’ve written, please do share it here.[/quote]
I hope you didn’t interpret that as me saying you’re wrong or anything along those lines. I didn’t mean that at all.
I’ve been married to my best friend (and I mean that) for going on 8 years. To me, if your spouse is really your best friend, major shit just doesn’t get between you. Don’t get me wrong, a male best friend, I’d punch square in the dick if need be, but you always end up having a beer afterwards. To me fight (not physically, I ain’t Ray Rice) with your BF wife is the same things, basically. At least to me it is. [/quote]
No, not at all. I wrote what I wrote also hoping to find examples contrary to what i’m seeing in real life.
I’ve treated my wife as a traditional housewife and not a friend and we’ve had no problems for 9 years. This past year we’re developing a more “friendlike” relationship as I have more free time on my hands from work, and my youngest brother has grown up and gone to Uni so she doesn’t have much to do at home. We’ve been going to the gym together among other things and she’s squatting rather heavy weights lol.
The thing is, I’m not too sure this “friend” thing is going to work out for us in the long run. So I’m looking to find examples of such relationships that others have. It’s either that or plan to have kids.
Anyway thanks for sharing details of your relationship and I wish you both the very best of things.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
So much good stuff here written so well…
I’d just add this: similar sex drives. You can both want it once a month or 3x a week, but when one person wants it once a month and the other 3x a week, there can be problems.[/quote]
After being married 17 or our 23 years together, she still lets me snort Hott Roxx off her nekkid bod.[/quote]
You want to ignore Edgy then, unless you enjoy being kicked in the Hott Roxx and watching HBO on Doc’s couch.
Using my many years of marital experience to help people. So nice. [/quote]
LOL
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
So much good stuff here written so well…
I’d just add this: similar sex drives. You can both want it once a month or 3x a week, but when one person wants it once a month and the other 3x a week, there can be problems.[/quote]
After being married 17 or our 23 years together, she still lets me snort Hott Roxx off her nekkid bod.[/quote]
You want to ignore Edgy then, unless you enjoy being kicked in the Hott Roxx and watching HBO on Doc’s couch.
Using my many years of marital experience to help people. So nice. [/quote]
LOL[/quote]
This is no joke, Csulli. Getting a virulent strain of the HBO could really mess with your mojo. Not to mention your self esteem. You don’t want to mess around with it.
[quote]dt79 wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]dt79 wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]CLINK wrote:
[quote]dt79 wrote:
Marriages that I’ve seen where couples were “best friends” or “soul mates” before rarely last unless both grew up together.[/quote]
My wife and I are the exception… if that indeed is a rule.
[/quote]
I wasn’t going to say anything, but that statement had me scratching my head too. Maybe the soul mate portion (does anyone actually think that?), but the best friend part is strange to me. I can’t imagine not being married to my best friend. [/quote]
I wrote what I’ve seen and heard. I’m always to go to guy when friends (both male and female) have marital problems because I’m perceived as the most stable guy with a marriage devoid of any drama. Plus my wife has no problem with me going out late at night to drink with them and hear all the sob stories.
I cannot give you a reason why. All I can say is the ones that had the closest “best friends” relationship when married are the ones that spew the most hate for their spouse a decade later, and shit usually starts because they start misinterpreting one another’s intentions behind their actions when times get rough.
As I wrote on the previous page, I hate hearing about all this crap in real life. If you have a successful marriage of a nature contrary to what I’ve written, please do share it here.[/quote]
I hope you didn’t interpret that as me saying you’re wrong or anything along those lines. I didn’t mean that at all.
I’ve been married to my best friend (and I mean that) for going on 8 years. To me, if your spouse is really your best friend, major shit just doesn’t get between you. Don’t get me wrong, a male best friend, I’d punch square in the dick if need be, but you always end up having a beer afterwards. To me fight (not physically, I ain’t Ray Rice) with your BF wife is the same things, basically. At least to me it is. [/quote]
No, not at all. I wrote what I wrote also hoping to find examples contrary to what i’m seeing in real life.
I’ve treated my wife as a traditional housewife and not a friend and we’ve had no problems for 9 years. This past year we’re developing a more “friendlike” relationship as I have more free time on my hands from work, and my youngest brother has grown up and gone to Uni so she doesn’t have much to do at home. We’ve been going to the gym together among other things and she’s squatting rather heavy weights lol.
The thing is, I’m not too sure this “friend” thing is going to work out for us in the long run. So I’m looking to find examples of such relationships that others have. It’s either that or plan to have kids.
Anyway thanks for sharing details of your relationship and I wish you both the very best of things.[/quote]
Ya, I mean honestly I can see it really depending on the type of person each of you is. My wife and I are both very independent and it seems to work well for us. If you are your only wife’s friend (and vice versa) I can see that becoming an issue though.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
So much good stuff here written so well…
I’d just add this: similar sex drives. You can both want it once a month or 3x a week, but when one person wants it once a month and the other 3x a week, there can be problems.[/quote]
After being married 17 or our 23 years together, she still lets me snort Hott Roxx off her nekkid bod.[/quote]
You want to ignore Edgy then, unless you enjoy being kicked in the Hott Roxx and watching HBO on Doc’s couch.
Using my many years of marital experience to help people. So nice. [/quote]
LOL[/quote]
This is no joke, Csulli. Getting a virulent strain of the HBO could really mess with your mojo. Not to mention your self esteem. You don’t want to mess around with it. [/quote]
Nothing a shot of Penny Dreadful couldn’t cure.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.[/quote]
Yes
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.[/quote]
Yes[/quote]
Sigh…
I’m gonna stand behind it. Lots of criticism and sex only on your anniversary.
And watch out for the HBO virus. No bueno.
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.[/quote]
Yes[/quote]
Ryan, don’t even think about telling me you didn’t get my STD joke. I know have a medical background so that had to make you laugh just a little?
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.[/quote]
Yes[/quote]
Ryan, don’t even think about telling me you didn’t get my STD joke. I know have a medical background so that had to make you laugh just a little?
[/quote]
I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. I couldn’t add to it was hoping others smarter than me would keep it going
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.[/quote]
Yes[/quote]
Ryan, don’t even think about telling me you didn’t get my STD joke. I know have a medical background so that had to make you laugh just a little?
[/quote]
I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. I couldn’t add to it was hoping others smarter than me would keep it going [/quote]
Ok, so it wasn’t a total fail. Whew. Jokes on the web can be iffy. In real life I start laughing before I get to the punchline so that’s also a no win situation.
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
If you think there’s nothing wrong with your spouse, you just aren’t paying close attention to all the petty little details. That’s what it’s all about. Attention to detail is key to so many things. [/quote]
Really? I see it the opposite. I think people tend to get buried in the negatives of their spouse after a period of time together and have to work to remember all the positives. In fact, I would advise to NOT focus on the petty details or you get lost in the negative minutia.
Also, I hugely disagree with keeping sex/intimacy rare. The more sex my husband and I have, the more connected we are and the better the relationship.
About to hit 26 years.[/quote]
I’m going to go crazy with this idea here…
Could it be that as individuals we have fairly unique personalities, different needs, and different ways of looking at life and people? If that’s true, then if we take two people, have them fall in love and marry, then just maybe not only will the chemistry they have in the beginning be different from other couples, but the approach needed to maintain it will be different as well.
There are a lot of different opinions from some older and wiser people here, but what I see that all the married folk seem to have in common is they (1) put consistent effort in their relationship (implied by the strength of their writing and conviction to their beliefs and relationship) and (2) have a high awareness of their own needs and (seemingly) their partner’s needs as well.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Gonna try this again.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
A word on physical intimacy…Keep it rare…
[/quote]
Huh?[/quote]
If your anniversary seems too often, maybe shoot for leap year. That’s sure to keep things special.
It was a joke, Push. Apparently a bad one.
Although Doc got it and volleyed it back so it wasn’t a complete fail. And I’m pretty sure SexMachine knew I was joking about basing a marriage on lots of constructive criticism.
Sigh.
Meek, mild-mannered psychologist by day and courageous, honorable Samurai by night.
