Rate My Music Vid/Body

Off Topic
1

I’m a hip hop artist from Minnesota, just turned 23 yesterday. Anyway I did some “Boxing training scenes” in this music vid with my shirt off. Just released the music vid yesterday btw and my other music is on my youtube channel as well if you want to check it out.

I have a LONG WAYS to go before I am satisfied with my body. I Need much more size all around. I need bigger arms and chest especially and legs (which are not really visible in this vid)

I am about 6’2" and 185 lbs.

Anyway have at it and let me know what you think about the music and my lyrical ability as well! thanks and I know many ppl on this site are probably not into hip hop so I don’t expect overwhelming appreciation for my music! thanks for your time.
link below

2

not really a fan of the video but the music was a lot better than i was expecting. ill definitely check out some of your other songs on youtube

3

I’m assuming that was the first time you ever worked with focus mitts. Also you should try lifting weights.

4

better than I expected for a random forum poster but I wouldn’t buy it.

There is just no “hardness” in your voice.

You look like a suburban kid pretending to be from a tough neighborhood too. Maybe don’t mix factories and college auditoriums in the same video, it’s a little confusing. Also, if you are going to use a downtown image for a gritty feel, don’t pick a spot where people are jogging with their dogs.

5

Know what would have been awesome about this video? Shots of you:

) Jogging along the street;

) Running up a steep hill x10;

) Training with your boxing coach;

) Grappling with your BJJ coach

) You shadow boxing;

) Hitting the punch bag and speed ball;

) You deadlifting with chains;

) You one hand pushing up;

) You one hand pulling up;

) You Tbar Rowing 150kg;

) You squatting with chains;

) You bench pressing with chains;

) You running in the sand with the punching-bag on your shoulders;

) You running up the hill with the punching-bag on your shoulders;

) You hitting a massive tyre with a sledge hammer;

) You Pushing and pulling a prowler with a fat man sat on it;

) Then at night fight, you choking your opponent with an arm bar…

Meh…

Aren’t you supposed to prepare for a big fight in that video? Or are you training to be a rapper for an empty audience…?

Sorry I tried to pay attention to the lyrics but I was waiting for something spectacular to happen in the video and it didn’t…

I like the start of the video though. Nice cinematography.

6

I would remix the song so that the beat is more prominent. It seems to be a little muted in relation to the rest of the music. Of course, I’m a drummer who plays with some real fucking power so I’m biased in this respect. I wish Jimmy Page had had John Bonham’s drums miked up a lot louder as well.

For instance, at the beginning you have a pretty basic drum fill going down the toms on the drum machine, and I hear the same fill several other times. But it seemed to be buried behind the rest of the music a little too much, especially the first one that gets the beat going.

As a drummer, when I perform a drumfill that sort of kicks off the song, I like to play it much louder than what you have here. It’s the start of the song so really bang that shit out to let everyone know what’s up, you know what I mean? Also, I’d recommend a fill with more creativity than simply 1/8 notes from the rack tom to the floor toms. Perhaps a triplet feel moving down the toms, with more power of course.

Or something that’s longer and phrased differently. Some easy fills that sound really creative that you could try to emulate can be found in “D’yer Maker” by Led Zeppelin. Another one that comes to mind, although much simpler-sounding but still not a basic snare-to-rack tom-to-floor tom-to-floor tom to bass drum fill is the first fill featured in “Roll Right” by Rage Against the Machine.

Or something like 3 1/16 notes on the snare, with the first two notes ghosted, followed by 2 1/16 notes on the rack (high) tom, 2 more 1/16 notes on the snare, one 1/16 note on the floor tom and then a big fucking crash cymbal on One. Know what I mean?

Also, you have some electric-sounding tambourine shit at the beginning of the song. Shitcan that shit and replace it with two quick 1/16 notes on the bass drum instead, with the second note accented (or the first one played as a ghost note on the bass drum). Or alternate between the two.

As far as your lyrical style, it sounds a bit monotonous and flat. Perhaps a sense of urgency or desperation in your voice would lend the song more tension. Other than that, I was surprised. I expected a complete clusterfuck of shit, which this was not.

7

I give you a C+. Lyrics were okay, but sort of all over the place and you lose the beat a couple times. You recover and I think you have potential.

Lack of a hook is going to hurt your apeal to a wide audience. The hook is what sticks in people’s head, you need a strong one to catch on.

You have a decent mix of influence, you just need to work on your phonetics and enunciation. You sort of start to trip over yourself when the beat calls for you to speed it up. See the JCole remix on your channel for a perfect example. I know you are one taking it, but…

Keep hammering away, and stay true to yourself, real talk. Don’t spit about shit you don’t comprehend (not that you are) and you’ll be fine.
I’m being harsh and honest. Keep practicing, you could have a chance.

Beat is good, do you produce it too?

Video could be better, but I’m not going to bust your balls about it.

(Trust me, a C+ for a white boy from MN is good lol.)

8

I am 100% serious when I say you are too pretty for earnings. No one empathizes with a rich pretty boy that wants more when they think you already have enough.

Try to look less preppy buy buying your coats from stores other then Nordstroms or Banana Republic.
Sweatshirt hood would have made sense if you were going to the gym.

Had a definite “Good Vibrations” feel to it when you had your shirt off.

9

[quote]JLone wrote:
I am 100% serious when I say you are too pretty for earnings. No one empathizes with a rich pretty boy that wants more when they think you already have enough.

Try to look less preppy buy buying your coats from stores other then Nordstroms or Banana Republic.
Sweatshirt hood would have made sense if you were going to the gym.

Had a definite “Good Vibrations” feel to it when you had your shirt off.

Oh yeah! Me love Marky Mark in that vid.

The love scenes look crap though. He should have banged his girl against the fence like a rough warrior would.

10

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
[/quote]
Here is what I think DN is talking about.
A 21 century training montage.

I just watched this video and got so pumped up I dead lifted the fax machine a few times at work.

11

[quote]JLone wrote:
I am 100% serious when I say you are too pretty for earnings. No one empathizes with a rich pretty boy that wants more when they think you already have enough.

Try to look less preppy buy buying your coats from stores other then Nordstroms or Banana Republic.
Sweatshirt hood would have made sense if you were going to the gym.

Had a definite “Good Vibrations” feel to it when you had your shirt off.

Agreed. I didn’t want to mention it before but since JLone here has admitted as much, I too found you queerly arousing, in a confusing, questioning-my-sexuality kind of way. I was filled with rage at this confusion and I tried to hide it behind a thin veneer of disgust at your audacity to suggest that you are downtrodden or underprivileged or something like that. More grime, less prep. Watch the old Wu-Tang videos from Enter The Wu-Tang. Think of that kind of shit, combined with some hooded out version of the training montage from Rocky IV and I think you’ll find your niche.

Personally, I think the production technique in hip-hop is bordering on TOO clean-sounding these days. If you want to sound different these days it seems like you almost have to strive for IMperfection in your production technique. It’s kind of like Impressionist painters.

If you get up real close and put your face right up against the painting, it just looks like a bunch of random, haphazardly-applied short strokes of the brush with too much acrylic. But when you step back a few feet and take in the whole painting, it becomes this great blending of colors that creates an actual portrait. Become the Van Gogh of hip-hop and you’re fucking golden.

12

[quote]JLone wrote:

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
[/quote]
Here is what I think DN is talking about.
A 21 century training montage.

I just watched this video and got so pumped up I dead lifted the fax machine a few times at work.

A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

I still think the dog had no idea what all the fuss was about…

13

Better than I expected. I don’t know why people are telling you about you need a catchy hook or don’t put an city backdrop with people jogging in it. I thought it was pretty obvious from the lyrics that you aren’t trying to be on a G Rap/hardcore persona. It still seems weird that people think of hip hop and immediately equate it all to some effort to be “Gangsta”.

Anyway, lyrically it was a lot better than I expected, I can tell you put a lot of effort into your schemes and patterns. But, your voice is too light, you need to work on your delivery and cadence a lot more. You’re from MN right, go to some Doomtree shows and see POS and Mike Mictlan for tips on that shit.

In terms of the video itself it was pretty well done, there isn’t a whole lot of “originality” in music videos but I mean in terms of production quality it was pretty good, didn’t look like some handycam shit at all and was pretty professional.

14

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Agreed. I didn’t want to mention it before but since JLone here has admitted as much, I too found you queerly arousing, in a confusing, questioning-my-sexuality kind of way. I was filled with rage at this confusion and I tried to hide it behind a thin veneer of disgust at your audacity to suggest that you are downtrodden or underprivileged or something like that. More grime, less prep. Watch the old Wu-Tang videos from Enter The Wu-Tang. Think of that kind of shit, combined with some hooded out version of the training montage from Rocky IV and I think you’ll find your niche.[/quote]
You are a funny guy Coop.

15

[quote]Jscoope wrote:
Better than I expected. I don’t know why people are telling you about you need a catchy hook
[/quote]

If you’re aware of a big hit in this genre without a hook, let me knwo.

16

pretty good, I like your flow and I am not typically a fan of rap music

17

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]Jscoope wrote:
Better than I expected. I don’t know why people are telling you about you need a catchy hook
[/quote]

If you’re aware of a big hit in this genre without a hook, let me knwo.[/quote]

To be fair, that song is 14 years old lol. I’ll agree that there are few popular songs without a hook, let alone singles that eventually earned radio play.

18

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]Jscoope wrote:
Better than I expected. I don’t know why people are telling you about you need a catchy hook
[/quote]

If you’re aware of a big hit in this genre without a hook, let me knwo.[/quote]

Triumph by the Wu-Tang Clan
Flip Mode Squad Meets Def Mode Squad by Busta Rhymes
Clones by The Roots
6’7" by Lil Wayne
almost all of Paid In Full from Erik B. and Rakim

19

[quote]challer1 wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]Jscoope wrote:
Better than I expected. I don’t know why people are telling you about you need a catchy hook
[/quote]

If you’re aware of a big hit in this genre without a hook, let me knwo.[/quote]

To be fair, that song is 14 years old lol. I’ll agree that there are few popular songs without a hook, let alone singles that eventually earned radio play.[/quote]

Fuck, you beat me to it. This was the first song that came to mind. All spit, no hook no bullshit.

20

[quote]Jscoope wrote:
Better than I expected. I don’t know why people are telling you about you need a catchy hook or don’t put an city backdrop with people jogging in it. I thought it was pretty obvious from the lyrics that you aren’t trying to be on a G Rap/hardcore persona. It still seems weird that people think of hip hop and immediately equate it all to some effort to be “Gangsta”.

Anyway, lyrically it was a lot better than I expected, I can tell you put a lot of effort into your schemes and patterns. But, your voice is too light, you need to work on your delivery and cadence a lot more. You’re from MN right, go to some Doomtree shows and see POS and Mike Mictlan for tips on that shit.

In terms of the video itself it was pretty well done, there isn’t a whole lot of “originality” in music videos but I mean in terms of production quality it was pretty good, didn’t look like some handycam shit at all and was pretty professional.
[/quote]

Hip-hop inherently is connected with “the streets” and some sort of “gangsterism”. It’s like the blues. You can’t play a blues tune that talks about the success of your financial portfolio. It’s like listening to Mick Jagger sing about how he can’t get no girlie action. Total bullshit.