Quitting TRT/Long Term Recovery

Hi there, I am a 28 y/o M who made the unfortunate decision to start TRT 2.5 years ago after feeling down/low energy and having sexual issues for a while. I have been on low doses around 125 mg and have come off twice during this time period (I never seem to enjoy TRT as much as others and always have some issue from it, whether it be hematocrit, low iron, etc.) . Recently I found that I have had a major vitamin D deficiency this entire time and upping my vitamin D intake has seen most of the original problems that I had go away completely. However, now I have been on TRT for several years and I am worried I may not make a full recovery.

Last time I came off (1 year ago, after 1 year on) I recovered to around 650 TT with upper range Free T (clear of all serms) but was put back on before my doctor sent me this information (pissed) because I still didn’t feel right (aka didn’t give my system time to adjust).

After a lot of thought and deciding I’d like to be independent of external test if possible (especially with the FDA now dipping their hands into the TRT realm with the compounded hcg ban) , I ran 750 iu HCG EOD for three weeks before stopping everything. I have now been off of everything and have been taking clomid 50mg for around 2 weeks.

I am worried because while running HCG, my balls inflated to their original size for around a week but then subsequently shrank back down for the last two weeks of hcg. They have not come back since, even on the Clomid, and remain grape-size and dense. What kind of timeline can I expect for the balls to come back, if they do at all? I feel relatively decent but the ball size thing is kind of a visual that I have not recovered and it gets me down. Do they grow back when/if my sperm count/fertility returns? Or are they permanently shrunk? I plan on giving this a good 6 month attempt if I can tolerate it, should I know within this amount of time?

You’re not gonna get much sympathy on your atrophied balls since most of us have had small balls or useless balls for that matter, for a very long time. You will have to focus your attention elsewhere. You’re did everything right, and all you have to do is give your body time to figure out everything on its own, but this comes after you’re off all hormones. Cheer up! Dont take things for granted. You should recover with possible after effects that come with the use of PEDs. Cant beat yourself up for trying to be proactive about your health. Just focus on what you’re doing right.

No one here has a crystal ball, maybe you recover, maybe it’s a partial recovery, maybe you don’t recover at all.

What size were your balls (in relative terms) the last time you come off when you were achieving 600+ TT natty?

A bit bigger but still undersized from how they were originally before TRT. Even with that 600 my sperm count had not come back yet which makes me wonder- since Sertoli cells make up the majority of the testicular volume, maybe I need to wait several months until I become fertile again for them to grow? Not sure

What were your natural levels before TRT? If you were 600 then I’d say your nearly there. 6 months to a year should be long enough for a recovery IMO.